I used to have this problem, too. Both when trying to fall asleep in the evening and after waking up in the middle of the night for any reason.

What really helps me is putting on an audiobook or podcast that I like but already know (this part is important because otherwise I will just listen to it for the rest of the night because I want to know what happens) and setting the volume to very low. I set the sleep timer to 15 minutes and most of the time I’m asleep way before it turns off.

I had to experiment a bit to find audiobooks that hit the sweet spot of being engaging enough to keep my mind from wandering but not so much that I can’t drift of to sleep but once I found a few, it’s been a real game changer.

Have you tried ear plugs?

You’re experiencing the exact same problem as my wife, in the same time frame, but for her it’s the neighbor slamming his door on his way out to work.

I can’t speak for her, as she often just gets up after her mind begins cycling through anything and everything, but as someone who has a lot of difficulty falling asleep, I have some success with the following:

1. Massaging my neck, shoulders, and shoulderblades
2. Getting up and sitting in the dark of a different environment for a few minutes, like the living room or guest bed, then returning to bed
3. Alternating between trying to sleep flat on my back and on my stomach

Can you get the dog taken away from them?

Lots of great advice here already, the only thing I’d add is 4-7-8 breathing. There are lots of guides and explanations online, but essentially you breath in for 4 seconds, hold your breath for 7 seconds, then exhale for 8 seconds.

It takes practice before you can do it and stay relaxed at the same time, so I would suggest practicing during the daytime so when you do it at night it doesn’t fully wake you up. It took about a week of practice before I felt comfortable enough to feel the benefit, but I still use 4-7-8 breathing in lots of contexts four years later.

I think the theory behind it is tied to vagus nerve and helping the body relax and enter rest and digest states.

Do you have ADHD or something similar?
I always need to have something playing in the background to stop my mind from overworking.

Put a Marpac Dohm white noise generator between you and the window. It’s basically a fan that’s modified to generate consistent white noise, and is somewhat adjustable (volume, tone for lack of a better term.).

It does take some getting used to, but once you do, it muffled a lot of noise. Any white noise generator will probably work, but my marpac has run for years with only needing to be opened once or twice for dust.

Another option is a thick comforter in the window (like curtains.)

Beyond mitigation, I keep some yarn and a crochet hook, and make stuffed animals for random kids of people I know. Crocheting for me hits the sweet spot between mindless and needs focus to still my mind.

My mom will do chores like folding laundry or dishes for a few minutes. Or sudoku.

Another option is meditation techniques- like meditative breathing will help with relaxing. Try breathing for a count of 3, holding to 6, exhaling to 9 (so each step has a 3-count in through the nose, out the mouth.)

1. Make sure you can’t see a clock at night. Not knowing how late it is will stop your mind from going over at least one detail, how much time you have left to sleep.
2. Get a notebook next to your bed so you can write things down if something urgent comes up in your mind. If you’re like me, changes are you’ll never write down anything.
3. Try to not think about anything for 10 seconds or better 10 breaths. No toughts whatsoever.
4. If everything fails, have a book or e-reader ready, so you can relax while reading for a bit. Nothing with LCD screens though, they tend to wake you up even more.

I often wake up around the same time. What helps for me is a big soft toy cat to cuddle with. The feeling of security of being able to wrap my arms around something tight is soothing and often helps me drift off to sleep again.
I don’t use it until I wake up though, until then it’s lying on the floor next to my bed. It could be that the change in sleeping posture is what helps?

Granted, this might be a bit too personal to be helpful. But maybe it will help for you as well? Alternatively you could try a big fluffy pillow if soft toys aren’t your thing :)

A pair of earplugs and a sleep mask have been a game changer for me.

Here is what I do, it is a type of visualization meditation.

I have been watching futurama (original seasons) for 20 something years. I have seen each episode literally hundreds of times. I have them burned pretty well into my brain at this point.

I have ripped just the audio track from the DVDs. When I wake up in the middle of the night (2-4 times per night!), I turn on a random episode as audio only.

The goal here is to try to visualize the episode as you only listen to the audio. This forces you to focus on something rather than stress about life. It really helps me stop thinking about anything else. Because I know the episodes so well, it has become quite easy to stay focused on it (like watching with your eyes closed). And since I’ve seen the episodes so many times there is no fear of missing out, so you don’t try to stay awake to finish an episode. I can typically fall back asleep within 5-10 minutes with this technique.

I personally have these on my phone in a playlist and sleep with a single wired ear bud in one ear. I have a sleep timer set for 25 minutes. If I wake up, all I have to do is tap the button on my wired Apple headphones and it’ll continue playing for 25 more minutes. No need to open my eyes or take off my sleep mask.

What helps here is to start reading. Most of the times I wake up with a book open, as I manage distract my mind from random thoughts.

I’m a light sleeper with a loud mind, as well, so this kind of thing has always been a problem for me. The two main things I find helpful may not do the trick for you, but here goes:

First, trying to force myself back to sleep always just ramps my brain up worse and makes it more difficult than it already was to fall back asleep. I stopped trying to force the issue, which has counterintuitively sped up the time it takes me to fall back asleep. I don’t get up or engage my mind with anything significant, but if I’m awake, I’ll put soft music on my earbuds or scroll on my phone set to the dimmest setting. I may not fall back to sleep immediately, but I’ve found that lowering the pressure on myself to fall back asleep makes it happen more readily than when I spend 2 hours and 45 minutes being like “if I fall asleep right now, I can still get another 3 hours. go to sleep. fall asleep. sleep will happen… now!”

Second, I’ve increased my oversell magnesium intake. I know you said no substances, but I feel like this is different. There have been a few studies–popular science type stuff, nothing peer reviewed that I know of–indicating that magnesium improves sleep quality and the ability to return to sleep if woken up. Might be the placebo effect, but I don’t care because I’ve noticed an improvement.

Sorry you have to deal with this flavor of insomnia, too. Super sucks.

I focus hard and repeat to myself several times, “i deserve a full night of sleep,” to help get rid of whatever is in my brain. Then i take 5-10 breaths to think about getting comfortable, feeling my pillow and covers. Then i relax one body part for 3 breaths, starting at my feet, then ankles, then lower leg, … Keeping my mind as focused as possible on it to prevent brain wandering. If thoughts creep in, i start over reminding myself that i deserve sleep.

You can try Yoga Nidra. A form of yoga used to get deep relaxation. It is said that 45 minutes of Nidra equals a 3 hour peaceful sleep. You can find info al over internet. I found this website particularly useful. I use especially the bodyscan and breathing techniques to calm my mind and fall asleep again.