You should see the Dutch Oven….
For an extra 5€ I’ll show you a Dutch Trombone
Gotta make sure that toilet plume(Google it) is aimed up between the legs!
Pedophiles in the olympics, our strange toilets with the “poop shelf”; I just can’t win today.
Edit: it’s so you can inspect it. How is everyone else inspecting their poo?
I think for most people it’s kinda a shit n forget situation. As soon as I have dropped the load I want to disown it and forget it faster than you can say “shit”. You know just like pa did it.
Yeah but where’s your poop knife?
aaah I get this reference
The mashitty?
That’s what the three shells are for.
I’m still trying to understand which of the three shells is the correct one to use as a poop knife
We all are. It’s one of the bonds that keeps civilization alive. Keep searching !
All 3 held between the fingers, with a punching action.
That brings up a question; if Wolverine claws at a poop and retracts his claws, does the poop get wiped off by his gloves and skin or does the poop go into his forearm?
These are the important questions that need to be addressed. We cannot let this go unanswered by the creators.
Pfffffffff he doesn’t know how the three shells work!
Wait, so I’m not supposed to throw them at other cars in traffic?
Well, I’d never want to rain on someone’s parade.
Lob away!
ah, je mean de poop clogs?
It sure does.
I know the meme is that people use it to look at their poop, but honestly the main advantage is the 0% chance of water splashing up. I will take this design over the “standard” ones any day.
You haven’t thought of the smell!
What kind of rock hard dookes are you laying?
Probably standard European fibre rich turds.
Have found that putting a little bit of TP in the water before commencing the act helps a lot to avoid Poseidon’s kiss.
I once stopped in urgent need of a toilet at the dirtiest little gas station in the middle of nowhere, where the one guy on duty directed me out back to a foul, stunningly filthy toilet. After doing my business I arose and, turning to face the toilet, flushed. It was an old flush mechanism where the water just kind of fell in from all sides, causing a kind of trapped tsunami to eject a single drop of fresh poop water 7 feet up in the air and down straight into my mouth.
If my many decades of life have taught me anything, it’s to close my mouth when flushing or scrubbing the toilet.
thanks I hate it
But what about just poop on some toilet paper, make no splash, and the smell is still not so hard, as with the dutch/German toilet
It’s so you can examine your stool, you might have some blood or a consistency you don’t like, that way you see it
It also helps you gauge the poop’s internal temperature using the back of your scrote, if you are endowed with fairly loose balls.
Long balls!
Wake up, coffee, breakfast, shit, see how much of last nights meal was really digested, shower, shave, work
Typical morning, idk what the big fuss is
I’ve never not been able to detect something like that with a water-under toilet
This is how you go Dutch.
Apparently this design was popular in Germany a hundred years or so ago. Its key advantage was allowing the user to examine their stools for signs of digestive health problems.
I dont need to examine my stools to know my digestive heath is horrific.
Explains shit fetish or vice versa?
Yep, but nowadays they are losing popularity. I don’t even know if you can still find them.
its so annoying having to use tongs :/
You don’t have a knife?
Not “a” knife. “The” knife.
I know the joke and all, but recently the local theme park has replaced their toilet brushes with toilet rubber shovels. They work surprisingly well. They can both hack’n’slash a log, but also the back side is also ripped so you can use it to brush out the regular shit from the sides, while avoiding the dreaded paper clutter and other issues with a toilet brush being used by thousands of people daily.
It’s like toilet brushes evolving into poop knives. Looks like this: https://pin.it/OKHBRlxjI
This guy cleans commodes.
Culture shock #2. A public American toilet may require “thousands” of toilet brushings daily.
Tell me you were exaggerating… Right?
Yeah well, I’m not counting. On busy days, the toilets have queue lines all day long. Depending on the length of the visit and the willingness to use the brush, it’s probably in the hundreds, or at least a lot more than anywhere else.
Hmm maybe brushed by staff once every 1-3 hours if visibly dirty?
We Germans like to take pride in our workmanship.
*workmanshit
*arbeitungmannscheiß
A fellow Sprecher, I see! Happy cake day!
I thought it would just be for less splashing
It’s definitely for less splashing. I hate the North American bowls that spray your ass when your turd dunks.
You just need to adopt the American diet so that you either spray the toilet or your turd is so large that it enters the water before falling and doesn’t splash.
What if I don’t want to observe my turd on an elevated toilet bowl pedestal every time I take a shit?
You seat on it reverse.
The fact that it’s called “reverse” makes it clear that it’s not intended to be used that way and is thus stupid.
You have to do the ‘ol’ push ‘n flush and hope you got the timing down.
Turns out your shit sitting exposed on a dry shelf smells exponentially worse than when it drops into water. Anyone still using these toilets in the 21st century is a psychopath.
You’d be shit out of luck
Story time: I once briefly lived in a place that had an old toilet bowl like this. You can still find them in older houses. One day I took a massive shit and then found out that the flush wasn’t strong enough to get it down from there. And there wasn’t a brush. Yikes. Just wanted to share that with you guys.
Origami toilet brush made from toilet paper. Yikes
Did you use the poop knife?
I came here to reference this, great work.
The trick is to put 3 pieces of toilet paper in beforehand, that way the whole shitboat can float away.
I like to imagine the shitboat floating away in flames like an epic Viking burial.
Try eating more hot sauce
Actually? Or are you joking?
Actually. Source: We has this style of toilet at my parents house.
My shits at my grandma’s would’ve been more comfy had I known this. I was always worried it wouldn’t flush (which happened on occasion).
So what did you do next? I’m thoroughly invested in the story
Got a bucket of water to flush it. After that I always had the bucket ready before starting the business. Luckily I didn’t stay there very long.
You wrap Your hand in toilet paper and give it a little push. That’s what toilet paper is for.
Usa drops kids off at pool, the dutch stack shelves.
American toilets gave me culture shock
They’re so shallow that you can’t even sit down without your balls touching the bowl or the water
You got long balls, Larry.
I think you might want to get your balls looked at.
Are you proposing something?
How you doin’?
We all do.
Which will be easy to do, considering they’re dangling out of his pant legs
I hated them, they made anxious. But much worse were the low stall walls. Why america, why? When I take a shit I want a wall that actually serves the purpose of not having people see me taking a shit.
On another note, the Dutch style toilets were very common in Germany up until the 90s. Rare nowadays. I think they are actually superior. You see it, if you have a problem with your shit and even the largest shit doesn’t splash water all over your intimate parts. On the other hand, you have to protect your balls from the large shit, when it goes “timber”.
I’ve always known that our stall walls in the US were shit, but then I visited Sweden and saw how truly horrible we were.
Over there, there are no men’s rooms or women’s rooms. There are just several doors each to a private bathroom and so it doesn’t matter who uses which one.
I’m sure our “single room with flimsy stall dividers” design is the cheapest, plus it’s not as convenient for all the drug addicts and homeless people our society creates, so it will never change.
I think you mean high stall walls and not low. You’re talking about the huge gap so the janitors can sweep and mop easier.
No, I meant that I literally could see people taking a shit when walking in the restrooms at several places, because the walls were just ~180cm high (and I am taller than 180cm).
So your shit just piles up on the upper part till it kisses your asshole?
I have some experience with these. The only problem is that as the vertically standing excrement begins to collapse forwards, there is a chace for it to keep contact and drag its top portion across, from your anus towards the front. You can avoid this with a maneuver, pulling yourself up and slightly forward, right after the singular vertical log begins losing contact with the excretion area.
This is not a joke
It’s trying to touch your balls isn’t it…?
The Great Mighty Poo’s Knight
Haven’t you thought of shitting in a backwards sitting position?
I prefer the kiss of poseidon over the casualities of deforestation
I haven’t had a nice log come out in decades. Enjoy them while you can.
Males need 37g of fiber daily for optimum health. That’s the equivalent of 568g of raspberries or 657g of green peas or 1,154g of broccoli. Might wanna start taking some psyllium husk so you don’t get ass cancer.
37g is still low. A good target to aim for is 100g.
If your diet is so lacking in fiber that you need to take pills to make up for it, fix your damn diet.
Don’t take the pills - the serving size on them is very misleading. You’dhave to take a ton of them to have any effect. Gotta go with the powder.
Nothing wrong with supplementation! It’s hard to eat that much fiber (even if your diet is good) due to the relatively low fiber density of most foods. We adapted to our food sources, not so much the other way around - and we don’t spend all day chewing on fibrous, foraged plants anymore. Plus, psyllium husk is a food. It’d be the same as eating a shitload of flax or something but with fewer calories.
So you eat half a kilo of raspberries, and then the rest of your diet is a juice cleanse? Here an example diet: oats for breakfast (6 g), a sandwich loaded with greens for lunch (4 g), chili for dinner (15 g). Throw in an apple for a snack (5 g). It’s really not that hard.
The National Academy of Medicine recommends:
• Women 51 and older: 21 grams of fiber per day
• Men 51 and older: 30 grams of fiber per dayNow your numbers go with 45 g per day, but honestly that example diet would leave me hungry. I’d probably also have a peanut butter and banana sandwich (7 g). Throw in a small amount of berries or raisins into the breakfast oats and we’ve hit your higher target.
Fair enough! I can be a little harder to hit consistently in practice depending on the level of variety in your diet, if you go out occasionally, etc. In my opinion and personal experience, anyway. But that is a solid and reasonable meal plan without a doubt.
The raspberries example was more an example of if one were to “fibermax” as the kids will be saying in 20yrs. Trying to most efficiently achieve the RDA with the most fiber dense foods possible - not intended as an actual, reasonable diet.
How many weetabix biscuits?
Looks like they are 3.8g per 2 biscuit serving? So like 19.5 biscuits or around 370g.
Calcium carbonate anti-acids tend to make good logs.
Give this person an honorary degree in Turd Dynamics. Have you considered publishing your findings in the journal Nature?
Turdonomy AND Turdology, a double threat!
The Real Deuce of studies.
A.k.a. “Logology.”
We referred to it as the poop shelf on our last visit.
My brother and I called it the inspection shelf as a joke. Turns out that’s what it’s actually for.
Decades ago we called this the poop shelf as well.
Um… if you’re holding on to that much shit, you may want you see a doctor.
You’ve clearly never seen an American eat. 3 triple burgers, a large fry, and a milkshake is the standard dinner while dieting.
People who downvoted you are weak stomached non Americans
I’m sure those who down voted shame their ancestors by leaving food on their plate.
Based. Source: American. Downvoters could never handle Taco Bell
It’s a solid way to prevent neptunes kiss.
The downside is getting your balls slapped with a turd.
No kink shame ;)
The real problem is your turds are exposed to open air the whole time, so the smell fucking awful the whole time.
It gives you the opportunity to examine it. I think that is the reason for the design.
“hey Sharon, SHARON GET IN HERE YOU GOTTA SEE THIS! SHARON!”
And to savour the undiluted aroma.
It kisses goodbye your asshole. Don’t forget from whence thy sheit falls.
I’m confused, isn’t this a better spot for the drain hole? When you sit facing the wall? So you have a shelf for your comic books and chocolate milk?
Serious answer: The design had easy stool sample collection in mind.
I’ve blasted this all over Reddit back in the day and now I’ll blast it here: HOW OFTEN ARE THE DUTCH COLLECTING THEIR STOOLS THAT THEY NEED THIS KIND OF TOILET IN EVERY HOUSEHOLD? THEY USE IT EVERY DAY AND NOT JUST AT A DOCTOR’S OFFICE OR A HOSPITAL WHERE YOU WOULD THINK THAT STOOL SAMPLES WOULD BE COLLECTED OFTEN.
To this day no one has ever given me a reasonable believable explanation that makes sense. I’d be happy to hear that “all the greedy corporate toilet makers didn’t want to change their design to save money and now we’re all stuck with this dumb toilet blah blah blah” or “we Dutch folk have a special device to sit on that you don’t see in this picture that makes the design of this toilet sensible” or even “we simply love looking at a big stinky pile of s*** every time we take a dump you wouldn’t understand we’re Dutch”
I stayed in hotels and motels in the Netherlands and they all had the stupid toilet and it stanks so bad and they don’t believe in ventilated bathroom so you just have to open a window and smell it and your wife and kids have to smell it too. it’s so dumb.
Ah, touché
It looks like it’s designed to soak your balls if you flush mid-poop. I’m not into this.
I understand the Dutch may have different tastes, though.
Edit: if you go about things butters style, you’ll get an unhealthy butthole douching.
We had these here as well and i have no idea. The only thing i ever heard that made sense was it was easier to take stool samples. That makes some sense, but why would every household need them?
Just sit facing the wall.
That way you can use the shelf for your chocolate milk and comic book
