Whelp, I’ve got cancer. It’s the second time I’ve had it. About 9 months ago I was told the docs would treat me but I probably wouldn’t make it.

Its been a hell of a time.

It’s a blood cancer so at the moment I look normal from the outside. I’ve changed a lot though, in the sense that I’ve become more me.

I don’t give a shit about anything, especially not money or work. Except for spending time with people I like.

Its taking a lot longer to happen than I thought it would.

The real trip has been seeing other people’s reactions; I accepted it early on but other people have had very different reactions. Mostly I think they just don’t know how to react, or they don’t think it will actually happen, or both.

I don’t think the human mind is capable of understanding the concepts of “eternity” or “oblivion” very well.

I do believe in God but it’s still scary.

Its the everyday things that catch you off guard; the other day I was wondering when the next soccer world cup would be, then I realised I probably wouldn’t be around for it.

I think when I finally die it will be a relief from all the physical pain.

Death can come to anyone at any time and unless you live to be 150 years old it will always seem like you didn’t get enough time, so it’s best not to worry about it.

I’m in a line of work where I see death very very often.

I don’t know what I’ve learned from it. Besides that it’s coming. I also know there are things worse than death. Often, in the end, people/families can’t accept it, and they end up uselessly suffering.

I was in the hospital in January following a heart attack.

I woke up one morning and was on my phone when the nurse came in.

“Were you asleep about an hour ago?”

“Yeah, why?”

“Your heart stopped for 8 seconds.”

“. . . Uh, thanks? I guess? I’m not sure what you want me to do with that information.”

Never knew it happened.

I’ve only observed that it’s a relief, at the very end, when the eyes glaze over.

72. Strive ever to more! and if thou art truly mine -- and doubt it not, an if thou art ever joyous! -- death is the crown of all.

73. Ah! Ah! Death! Death! thou shalt long for death. Death is forbidden, o man, unto thee.

74. The length of thy longing shall be the strength of its glory. He that lives long & desires death much is ever the King among the Kings. 

Excerpt, Liber AL vel Legis, Chapter II

That consciousness is eternal. That each of us will live until the end of the universe and possibly beyond. Alone.

OP, you’ll find that most people haven’t experienced death, and the rare few that have, only for a very short time.

A dead body doesn’t look real. The stillness and one’s denial mechanisms combine to make it look like a mannequin.

I live in the Midwest, right on the edge of tornado alley. When the sirens go off there’s three kind of people. People who do the right thing and go hide in the basement or the bathroom or whatever. People who just completely ignore them and keep doing whatever. And then the dip shit rednecks who run outside like ‘IMMA SEE ME A TORNADER’

I bounce between option two and three depending on my mood. One time this happened and a tornado actually started to form directly above me. Three times in a row it started to come down and then crap out.

What really surprised me the most was my reaction was a calm ‘huh. So this is it…’ Didn’t try to run. Didn’t even move, and not in a frozen in fear way.

And i guess what I learned is I’m ready when the time comes.

It’s difficult to summarize into words, and English because many of the ideas and experiences of the post-life world transcend easy explanation, but here goes nothing (and I’m fine with being judged/downvoted, most of this will seem like nonsense to casual readers):

1. The goals, priorities, duties, missions, and dreams you have, what you value, and believe to be important – isn’t.

A. Approximately 180 seconds after you accept you’re not recovering from your imminent death, you are immediately pardoned from all duties, debts, goals and otherwise.

B. Basically everything you’d been worried about, stops worrying or bothering you. Your name is off the high score board, permanently, so to speak.

2. Cognition is dependent on physicality.

A. The way that humans experience reality depends on their sensory organs, brain, and various other instruments to create a quasi coherent image of the world.

B. The raw state of being, is absolute chaos. It defies description. Hegel tried his best to put it into words but he also failed. Time is non-linear. Nothing makes any sense. Dimensions don’t exist. Quantum physics barely scrapes the surface of what’s going on.

3. Consciousness is independent of physicality.

A. Almost immediately after the ripping and dissolution of the corporeal body, after the dynamic system that used to be you, no longer exists, it is no longer dynamic, or on the material plane - life continues. You perceive. You persist. You think. It makes zero sense, but the universe is under absolutely no obligation to explain itself to you, or make sense.

4. Everything in Section Four unfortunately lacks the appropriate language, or terminology to sufficiently describe and so must be experienced by each person individually. Everyone is owed this. Sorry. No spoilers.

Stop worrying about the news, turn it off, and spend more time with family and friends.

Never take the people you love for granted. Don’t wait on any deed or utterance that is unfulfilled, and know how fast they can go in a matter of minutes if you take your eyes off them. I made that mistake more than once. In the blink of an eye, life can go from 42 to 0.

Death by massive head injury is not a bad way to go. I remember a sunny morning, heading to the bank a mile from my house to deposit my paycheck, and riding towards work. I merged behind a Jeep Grand Cherokee to pass an idiot that was double parked in the bike lane. It was down hill and I easily topped 35 mph to match speed with the Jeep. That is the last thing I remember. Like it was all totally blank and even worse than anesthesia level blackout.

Three hours later, someone pulled a large piece of glass out of my face that severed major nerve in my lip. That woke me up.

That is how I want to go; a pretty day on a nice bike ride, feeling fantastic, then totally blank.

In reality, I was lucid the whole time apparently, or so I was told. I honestly do not have ANY memory of it whatsoever. If you know of anyone that dies tragically with a major head injury, I want you to think of me. Even if they appeared conscious or aware but disoriented, that wasn’t the last thing they felt or remembered, I promise, I’ve lived it; only barely survived it. I still don’t remember a thing.

WHY IS NO ONE PAYING ATTENTION?!

I didn’t even know I died. I just… woke up. I’m so happy to be depressed and to admit my faults and to make my friends laugh. There is a Multiverse where I don’t do that.

Here & now, here & now, here & now, I chant in my head as that’s all we have.