People who haven’t really resumed socializing at levels they used to, people who lost the capacity to regulate during interpersonal interactions, people who lost trust in others… I encounter lots of partial returners out there
Partial returners seems like a good name for it.
I’m in this post and I don’t like it. I used to be social as hell, now I’m almost a hermit.
Informed? Did the infection rates start dropping lately?
Yes, it started dropping years ago and is now less than 1% of peak infection rate. It is endemic now and treated like the flu. Keep living in a bubble for the rest of your life if you want, I guess.
those left behind
No…he means the ones just staying at home. Not the ones covid killed.
When talking about people with ASD that’s called unmasking and is one of the main goals of therapy.
Assuming ASD stands for antisocial disorder, I didn’t realize there was therapy for it. I thought it was essentially just “I don’t like those people, and I don’t like THOSE people either…actually, I don’t like most people. I’m just going to keep to myself.”
Now, maybe I’m wrong, and ASD stands for something else.
Autistic Spectrum Disorder.
We don’t have a natural ability to infer emotions from body language, for a start. We have to learn to actively pay attention to it. Replacing natural instinct that a neurotypical person has with an active thought process is tiring, for a start.
Add to that most ASD people have trouble with emotional control, need to actively think about their own facial expressions, and often have social quirks that are unacceptable like nail biting which must be actively repressed… and being around others for hours on end is exhausting.
On top of this, most ASD people also have ADHD, and in the modern open office environment between the social aspect and never ending barrage of distraction, and the workplace is hostile, actively hostile to folks with ASD.
This combination of factors leads to having no where to unmask and relax until they get home. When they do, they are so exhausted from being something they are not for 10 hours (commute has to be included as its all public space) that when they get home they just shut down. They don’t call family or friends usually, they don’t get things around the house done. They have to turn off and try to re-energize themselves for doing it all again tomorrow.
I know all this as I am ASD and ADHD
Being able to work from home has brought actual balance to our lives as we can unmask the moment the camera goes off, we have rooms at home where we can close the door and remove distractions (well except mandatory work chats, but its a matter of muting that for focus) and at the end of the day we still have energy for our actual lives. In other words, this is the true work-life balance that I had always heard of but never truly felt I had.
I miss the pandemic. Socially isolating meant I got to spend more time with my kids and extended family than I had in decades due to limited sports and other activities. And even work, while it didn’t stop (luckily), provided more valance - especialy more than now.
Avari.
The unwilling elves who refused the great journey!
Hermits
I feel like the weird one out because lockdown was absolute hell for me. I need my community and my people. I go crazy being stuck inside a small apartment with nothing to do. I’m not fully an extrovert, I do need my alone time, but I also need to be with people I love.
I’ve had bad anxiety my entire life, but I never felt like I really had social anxiety before the pandemic. Now I have a hard time talking to pretty much anyone unless they talk to me first.
…hi.
We do. It’s called being Smart.
We had a name before the pandemic… It’s “introvert.”
I’m more referring to people who aren’t so much choosing to isolate. Not a preference, but a loss of the capacity or opportunities to socialize
That happens to almost anyone on a long enough timeline. You have to let yourself be uncomfortable while you rebuild those social skills.
Absolutely. It comes down to exposure therapy, basically. Reacclimation.
Yeah. That’s me. Or anyone I know, really. Sure cities are back to pre-pandemic chaos, but those are other people.
I choose to work from the office on most days. I use public transit. I go to the gym. I’m not locked in, but …
- after-work drinks
- meetups
- catch up with a friend at the pub
- date night
- clubs
- partys
That’s a distant past. And i don’t miss it, really.
Ok, I do miss socializing, the good parts: Crack some jokes, have some small-talk, feel part oof a group of friends.
But i don’t miss it enough to endure that bad parts: Forcing oneselves into conversations with strangers, “networking”, drinking a beer alone in a corner of some event, going out to bar where over your overpriced drink you’ll accept that you’d rather be in your living room. Bars and night clubs are a weird concept (unless you are in your twenties and really enjoy the scene): You realistically only talk the person you came with, but they can’t hear what your are saying since it’s loud and crowded. There may be music, but unless you came to dance, you probably have a Spotify play list you’ll enjoy more. In better quality.
Small rant incoming:
I’m actually still stuck inside more than in the Pandemic. Essential worker so I still went outside daily until i never got my energy back after having covid for the 5th? time.
About 3 years of doctors not really knowing how to treat it and encouraging me to keep trying what i could each day, which led to me basically destroying my body, until i got one of my countries leading experts who immediately told me to take bed rest the second i feel tired.
Since my immune system is basically gone i got a bunch of other illnesses some of which will probably never go away since the meds only alleviate the symptoms.
Upside is that I’ve been trialing a bunch of expirimental treatments for the specialised clinic that is opening soon, some of which had small but immediate effects. So at least those that will get diagnosed in the future don’t need to wait as long hopefully.
I got ME/CFS (closely related to long COVID) that first started in early 2020, so this is very relatable. As everyone was going back to normal I was getting worse. Do you mind if I ask what had a good effect? The only thing I’ve found that helps (other than rest and pacing) is nicotine patches for the brain fog.
Currently seeing some decent effects from low dose naltrexon, although it seems to shift my energy more than it increases it. The further I’m from having taken my daily (evening) dose the better i feel, but in the mornings I’m extra tired and can’t really focus my eyesight.
But it’s hard to separate the side effects from the multiple other treatments I’m building the dosages for.
I’m glad to hear you live in a country where you can get more specialized support! I hope the new treatments pan out
Lemmites
It’s all the doing of Nihon Hikikomori Kyokai…!
Maybe if we smushed the two together and made up a word? Like hikicovidomori
I think the term is hikikomori, and the cause is COVID isolation.
Maybe there is a German word for it. Or that could make one up
