Eating the proper amount is hard. Eating when you have low time, money, mental energy, or education on cooking is even harder.
This book assumes nothing. Do you know how to turn on your stove? You are properly prepared to use this cookbook.
Just want to share it with more folks!
I’ll share my recipe since it isn’t in the book.
Block of Smoked Tofu
Preparation: cut open the packaging with a knife, put on a plate, and eat with your hands.
Smoked tofu tastes good enough to eat it by itself, and it’s a great source of protein and fat.
I tried tofu once. I didn’t super love it, but I’ll give it another shot
There are so many different types of tofu and different ways to prepare them that all taste vastly different. That stuff is basically a blank canvas.
It was in ramen and got soggy
Try baking it next time
I’m in a motel with only a microwave and mini fridge at the moment (and for the foreseeable future) so unfortunately I can’t bake. Is grilled tofu a thing? They have some grills outside
I’ve never been so bold. Maybe if you wrap it in foil with some sauce and veggies.
Yeah, I was thinking it would probably need to be wrapped
Yeah, tofu by itself can be very boring, but it really shines with the right spices or marinade. The simplest way to make tofu that still tastes great is to cut it up, put the pieces in a container with a tablespoon of soy sauce and some Sriracha (amount depending on your chili tolerance), and shake the container. Then you can use it in many ways, for example by placing it on something that is releasing a lot of steam, like rice that is almost done cooking.
I find it’s key to squeeze out the water with tofu so it can absorb the flavors you’ve adding. I place it between two plates with some weight on top (a pound or so is plenty) for like 10 minutes, then squish the plates together a bit over the sink to drain and that’s usually plenty. Fish sauce makes a nice flavoring if you’re into that.
I also eat raw smoked tofu blocks sometimes, but try cutting it into strips and sautéing them if you really want to give it a shot. You can eat that with whatever you like your fries with. I tend to go for a sriracha mayo.
Before you cut it up, drain any water from it, and wrap it in a clean dish towel, then press it under a cutting board or something flat for like 20 seconds on each side. If you get extra firm smoked tofu, that should be all you really need to do, but you can also toss it in seasoned flour (or a seasoned 1:1 mixture of flour and corn starch) first
I would steal this if I wasn’t allergic to soy XD
I really love Mexican food so sometimes my dinner is pulling a tortilla out of the bag and eating it.
If you pass this recipe on please give me credit.
That’s a 2 am staple. Especially when you roll in uo and pretend there’s actually stuff inside.
Microwave it for two seconds first. 😙🤌🏻
But I haaate waiting those 2 extra seconds 🤪
Listen buddy, let’s be realistic, I’m no professional chef.
Lul this reminds me, we used to just chuck a few in a plastic bag and warm them up in the micro for like 15 seconds. No idea why, we had a stove and a comal to warm them up.
Then sprinkle in some sugar like you’re ‘salt bae’ o make it a gourmet dessert.
I do the same. Put some butter and Tabasco on it
Maybe brown some ground meat and scoop some on, with some chopped veggies and shredded cheese
I would give credit, but your username being CarbonatedPastaSauce gives different expectations to any recipe with your name attached
This made my night. What a well-written and kind product
When I discovered this cookbook, I printed it out on regular printer paper and spent an hour or two hardcover binding it with a bookcloth spine and fancy foreign cover papers with gold foil and flocking. It looks so nice!
Then I immediately had to use it because I can manage professionally binding a shitty printout of the Sad Bastard Cookbook, but I cannot adequately feed myself. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ This cookbook is great!
Quite possibly the most glowing review/recommendation for the book. Clearly a motivated and talented individual, but they STILL need help cooking!
I love the concept of this book but was pretty disappointed by the actual recipes tbh.
The title is quite literal. It’s not “some simple tasty recipes”, it’s depression-level-bare-minimum-effort-food ;)
You might not be the target audience. I’m not currently the target audience either.
My wife and I are really into cooking. We have a whole bookshelf of cookbooks, a metrowire rack full of “kitchen stuff” and we use it daily.
There was definitely a time when this book would have been perfect. This book seems to cover a lot of stuff that’s obvious to me now but wasn’t always.
If you’re food plan is a bulk package of Ramen, any help on how to make it not the same as every other day is culinary gold.
Same here. Last time this was shared I found a single recipe kind of interesting, but not enough for me to actually memorize what it was.
Thinking back, it was probably the Mac and Cheese one, and I had already wanted to try to make it anyway (it’s not a very common dish in my country, or at least my circle)
To add my own bachelor chow to this
Meat of some kind these frozen vegetables And KD
What’s KD, precious?
Either Kraft Dinner (Mac and cheese) or Kentucky Deluxe. Either way is sad.
what about craft dinner is sad? like I know it’s not top notch but i can’t say I ever felt like it was a bad thing
Mac & Cheese, the polite weirdos to our north call it Kraft Dinner.
Found the not Canadian
That doesn’t sound too hard. Most people are not Canadian.
Best one: pasta in a rice cooker. Game changer
Tell me more!
Me too!
Guys it’s literally in the completely free to download book linked in this post, called exactly what it’s called here.
Missed opportunity to send them a link to this post.
Rice cookers the microwave of the 21th century
Okay so what can’t be cooked in a rice cooker? I do oatmeal in it too.
I don’t recommend making ice Cream in a Rice Cooker.
Challenge accepted!
Wat. How?? I need this hack
I don’t get this one, surely you can just buy pasta sauce instead and it’s exactly the same steps but better 🤔
Ahh this is not a “go buy” something recipe.
This is a “If you are thinking of not eating because you feel like you have nothing to eat, eat this instead”
Would be a great reaction meme if you took out cooking and centered the remaining text
I’ve been trying to learn more about GIMP, so here you go.
Oh wait, was I supposed to leave it slanted?
Dear diary, today the internet delivered. Cheers to your GIMP learning journey!
Works either way, nice work.
Ay, DIY gimp skills make a homemade meme truly tasty
This is for people who might not have pasta sauce in their pantry, but most people will have ketchup in the fridge.
Or packets from a fast food restaurant
i once had a long article in a pre-internet punk 'zine about the different meals you can make with free food like condiments… salt pepper water ketchup mustard relish honey etc. it also taught how to use toothpaste as hair gel.
it was eye opening.
It doesn’t happen to still exist does it? Sounds like a very interesting read
i don’t have it. it was at Moby Disc record store in the 1990s, maybe someone collects 'zines.
I’m gonna try to search for it later today. Any details you can add would help a ton
paperback, like half a 8.5 x 11. cover was blue and included a drawing of a payphone. the zine also included punk album reviews.
i see archive.org/details/zines has a ton of sinilar
100%, some of these recipes are “scavenge for food with things in the back of your fridge/pantry”
I don’t like ketchup like that. Fires, sure. Burger? A little. This? This is fucking gross. I also knew someone that put it on their pizza. On the inverse, I can eat yellow mustard straight
Pasta and ketchup is a common meal in Paris according to the one French Netflix show I watched where they ate it and never commented about how absurd it is.
Maybe French ketchup is different than American ketchup?
Almost certainly
It’s almost certainly Heinz, and in no permutation you cannot find everywhere else in the world.
Probably doesn’t contain corn syrup.
Thank you for sharing this. Not only am I finding useful depression cooking ideas here but it also seems like a great “intro to cooking” book and just a “fuck I’m out of everything but don’t feel like going to the store” kind of cookbook
PBnJ. 3 ingredients.No cooking. Get lost with any cook book.
Incoming: peanut allergy
Nutella?
Do I look like I’m made of money?
Skip the PB.
Some heavy hitters here
I’m so guilty of both
I need this book.
Click download! PDF is free.
I want PAY
There is a link to buy a physical copy if you like.
Some days, you need a reminder that eating anything is better than eating nothing.
Seeing this post prompted me to cook for myself, thank you for sharing this valuable resource 😊
Pros: high protein food
Cons: makes a spoon dirty
Suggested improvements to recipe: note to thoroughly lick spoon clean, or use a finger to swipe up the peanut butter.
Use napkin for remaining peanut butter before you put it in the sink. Then it will make the spoon less intimidating to wash.
For me, I’m more concerned about getting bacteria into the highly nutritious PB. If you’re only eating one spoonful then fine. I wouldn’t stick a spoon that’s been in my mouth back into the container though. I have done this “meal” though, but I scoop how much I want into a bowl first. Maybe drizzle some honey or something onto it.
Butter knife it onto some crackers. (I prefer Ritz.) The knife never goes into the mouth so I can keep using it. Does make a mess on the counter or table if you don’t use a paper towel or plate(or bowl) to catch most of the crumbs. Guess you could eat over the sink…
Mix up your PB&J in a bowl. That shit is fire. Raspberry preserves are very good
Why is the spoon dirty? Just lick it until it’s clean of peanut butter and put it back in the drawer. /s
Nah, let your dog lick it clean since they have cleaner mouths than us filthy humans. Whenever I’m done eating I just let my dog lick the plate/bowl/whatever clean and then it’s good to go back in the cupboard.
/s
This was the premise of one of those ‘that really happened’ reddit stories.
Warning: do NOT overdo peanut butter on a spoon if you have a dry mouth
Ah, I’ve been making these recipes for decades. It tracks with my cooking skills.
I had no idea I was qualified to be a cookbook author.
Have you been reading my diary?
I substituted a knife for the spoon and I feel like it still came out ok.
Best is when you’re at the end and you bring out the spatula. It’s like a mini Christmas.
That is the most important tool in my kitchen.
You know you were gonna have a second serving anyway, may as well just skip the trouble and have both at once.
★☆☆☆☆
Substituted a knife for the spoon and caulk for peanut butter. Awful taste, horrible recipe. Do not recommend. Would put zero stars but it won’t let me.
Karen, MO
Tastes like it has a little extra iron in it
That’s the blood from the cuts in your tongue.
It’s not as funny when you point out the joke
As long as it’s not a fork you’re good.
Works for crunchy. Any thick peanut butter really
I expected less cooking tbh. I’m usually at the Eat a Dill Pickle Out of the Jar While Standing in Front of the Fridge mood.
But are we talking in underwear, or in pajamas? Totally different levels there
underwear, or in pajamas
What’s the difference
Leg length. Or total lack of cloth
Depends on the day, might even manage half dressed
Well maybe you can sometimes stretch your wings into “Open can of black beans, drain it, and mix in ranch” territory sometimes!
Frozen pierogi boiled then fried with a little butter & eaten with sour cream is a classic
Accepting that’s is ok to sometimes eat a frozen meal has been absolutely instrumental in helping me reduce eating out.
I got caught in the trap of perfect, trying to make tasty, healthy, low-cost meals, and then giving up when I couldn’t just do that every day with no experience.
Yeah I like mixing it personally!
Like I have fresh sour dough bread I made this morning. I then like to use said bread to spoon in store bought curries, pasta sauces, peanut butter, and jelly. Or sometimes I’ll use it as bread for a frozen fish patty to make a sandwich. I also have a big things of rice and beans I made that I will sometimes just plop into a tortilla and call a meal.
Bertolli chicken parm and some garlic Texas toast is almost downright fancy, but it’s 100% dump, heat, eat.
When I went back to college with a toddler and a baby on the way. I started feeling really bad about how I was feeding my kid. I’d do stuff like chicken nuggets with some frozen veggies on the side for example. I told someone about this and they were like “no you’re feeding your kid really well. They’re getting most of their food groups in every meal and getting consistent meals”
If you’re looking for a fun Youtube channel to folliw, check out Sorted Food. They do a lot of silly food challenge videos, but a lot of them have some really good lessons for the average know-nothing cook.
just pointing out that the russian supermarkets have these for like $2-$3 per pound, basically ravioli. you can dump a serving into a pot of boiling water and then you’re done in a couple of minutes. can top with pasta sauce or even ranch dressing. feeds a while family for the cost of a single fast food meal.
That’s the depression due doctors don’t want you to know about.
I don’t even boil it. Just put it in a frying pan with some butter, put a lid on it, and cook it at a low temp for 20 minutes.
For any sweet pierogi, sprinkle some sugar on top of the sour cream or mix it up properly if you want to be fancy. So damn good.
Instant Noodles Carbonara
Cook instant noodles in a pan. Chuck an egg in and mash it about a bit.
When the water is nearly all gone, chuck in a load of cheese (I use strong cheddar and grated mozzarella) and a couple of chopped up Peperamis. Mix it all about until the cheese starts burning.
Eat that shit.
Page 19.
"Kinda Like Pad Thai
Peanut butter and sweet chili sauce mix together to make something which tastes kinda like you’d imagine Pad Thai sauce would taste if you’ve never had Pad Thai before. It’s delicious. Real Pad Thai is even more so."
This is actually a great book! I don’t like cooking so this is right up my alley.
