Inspired by the very similar thread about school incidents.
Production operator with IBS pooped on the floor in a clean room. Kinda ick, and they had to call the spill team to clean up the hazard, but not really the employees fault and no one is really upset. Later, IBS employee is elsewhere, more poop is found on the floor. No one comes forward. No one is identified. Management puts out a “Please use the bathrooms” email and calls it a day.
Fourth toot vibe
Must have been The Mad Pooper aka The Buttler.
First time was an accident, second one was for fun
C’mon, c’mon! Oh, it’s a shy one!
Why do people constantly ask this question in this community? I swear this gets asked at least weekly. 🤦🏻♂️
Karma farming isn’t a thing here. Yet people seem happy to groundhog day the hell out of it…
Maybe people just enjoy reading the kinds of replies that these kinds of questions tend to garner?
No doubt you’re right, as everyone seems to be replying in good faith.
I don’t want to yuck anyone’s yum, so to speak, but if this kind of thing is popular, maybe the mods could create a weekly thread for it?
I’ll be honest with you chief, I’ve been on Lemmy pretty chronically for the last year and a half and this is the first one of these I’m seeing
I mean I could be going mad… uh, chief… but I could have sworn it was this community. My mistake, apparently.
Perhaps I got the community wrong, but not about this question appearing repeatedly on Lemmy. 🤷♂️
The overnight IT guy was caught watching porn while working (this was over a decade ago, he was in the office every night and not a remote worker). How was he caught? He was saving the pornographic photos on a shared network drive…
When confronted, he didn’t try to deny anything, his explanation was simply, “That’s just my thing.”
I respect his owning it shamelessly.
Boss: “Were you looking at porn in the office?”
IT guy:
We should be able to look at a liiittle porn at work.
Aside from the obvious don’t watch prom at work, I don’t see how anyone does it with company property. Doesn’t pretty much everyone have a phone or computer these days? Shouldn’t it be common sense to use your phone rather than the work computers need by your employer?
I would say no. But there is a part of me that sees he’s an overnight IT worker, and then I’m like “what the hell else would he be doing?”
As a former overnight IT worker, I always just assumed my browsing history would be reviewed by other IT people. Maybe they wondered why I spent so much time on horror game forums, maybe they already knew I was a disturbed mind.
WoW
EvE Online until he perfecta his spreadsheets
As a treat.
You’re a rock star!
One of my very first tech jobs, there was a guy who watched porn in his office, as far as I could tell just continuously. I saw the DNS logs so I was aware. I didn’t care as long as it wasn’t interfering with my ability to get things done.
One day I had to go in his office and talk to him about some of his code that was breaking, and he went OH and tried to hide all the blatant porn on his screen. Like dude I know. I don’t care. I am here to talk with you about your shitty code not your personal failings and issues; those are purely your own problem IMO.
The ceo of a client viewed porn pretty much all day every day during the pan when everyone was wfh. Our screen sharing tool showed a stamp-sized preview of the client device before connecting. One of the interns said after over a week of trying to engage him with the chat feature and closing the connection due to porn before sending a chat, he gave up and accepted that there was no time when porn wasn’t on-screen.
I saw this so often when I was client facing. CEOs, doctors, and sales people were the biggest offenders.
We had a gyno who had a huge pile of porn on his file server. It was all from the waist up. Seriously, he had half a terabyte of titty pics.
Separately, there was a sales guy who was juggling like 5 women (poorly) at any given time. He was fucking gross and would try to show them off to anyone who came to work on his continuous computer problems that were all caused by him.
Separately from that, we had a “troubled boys ranch” as one of our clients. One of the C Suite was caught with porn and we had to go over it with a fine toothed comb to make sure none of it was of any of the kids. There wasn’t (thankfully) but there was a whole lawsuit about it and he was charged with showing it to some of the kids.
A gyno with just tit pics either feels like he went 50/50 in career path and made a bad choice, or has become so desensitised (or put off) by his work that he just cant bear to look below the belt
When your hobby becomes your job!
Girl did dabs on break with her gf came back zonked out since she’d never smoked weed before.
Ended up slapping manager and getting taken away by ems
Cook got arrested at work one time when cops came to pick her up at her job. She was 4 feet tall so we joked they picked her up and carried her away. She had to use a step stool to make the soup and someone would hide the stool from her so she’d be pissed the next morning.
Same place had a cook drinking lean and offering it to people.
Retirement home btw
Any workplace sitcoms about retirement home you know of? I would be all over that since South Park did the rap-heavy retirement home drug episode
If you’re into Ricky Gervais, he did one.
Where?
Just looked it up. It’s called Derek and it’s reportedly on Netflix.
Spanks!
There is absolutely room for it. Have so many stories. From the bpd woman who mentally and verbally harassed the boy with fetal alcohol syndrome.
To finding absinthe in the chefs office.
Then there would need to be an arc about the time there was a chef who couldn’t read. His wife did his emails and we couldn’t get avocados because he was spelling them wrong I’m the hardies order system
I feel really bad for the woman with bpd and the guy with FAS. Those are both horrible disabilities.
They were both tragic figures.
Whats ur job?
This was working as a server/cook/bistro at an independent living retirement community. During covid which added to the fuckery. Over the course of about 3 years.
Do they eat well? Like good shit?
Sometimes.
Food like bistro I made it right in front of you and did whatever you wanted. Sandwiches, breakfast, tacos, burgers etc. We tried our best with what we had.
This setup was different from the main dining room which was lunch line batch cooking. Dinners were kinda sucky occasionally.
What’s lean?
https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Lean_(drug)
It’s essentially cough syrup mixed with a soda. Think his specifically was with sprite. Remember my co worker being especially fucked off of it and he was routinely baked.
I was a square.
I’ve tried almost everything but I’ve never tried lean. I want to sooooo badly.
So buy some cough syrup and sprite. Also most cough syrup has acetaminophen in it so I hope you didn’t need that liver.
Most cough syrup sold as codeine/promethazine cough syrup nowadays is actually just fent.
I was working at an assembly plant for plane motors (the big kind) and one of them literally blew up in the test bed. There was chunks literally embedded in the safety glass, it was a huge mess.
Turns out someone left an orange rubber mallet inside of it. Over the course of a year, they reassembled the shredded mallet and traced it back to the toolbox that used it. The guy lost it and instead of reporting it and disassembling his last job, he just stole one from an other toolbox.
Not mine but my buddy used to build kayaks. One of the employees took a dump in one of the kayaks and it only got caught because of a random QC test. I always giggle thinking of the client who would have received it.
TRUSTY-COOK
INC-224, never forget.
I am an infra engineer at a fairly large scale (not like Amazon, but we have some BIG customers) SaaS company; despite our scale, we are only like 250 people and of them only about 90 engineers. We store a bunch of data in MySQL.
15:30:00, I get a page “MySQL table is full.” I immediately know my day is ruined, since I’ve never heard of this error before, but know it ain’t great.
15:30:10, every Pagerduty escalation policy in the entire company gets bombarded with pages.
I look at the database instance. The table size is “only” 16TiB, so it’s a bit confusing.
We are hard down for several hours as we scramble to delete data or somehow free up space. Turns out, google backs ClpudSQL MySQL instances with ext4 disks instead of zfs, and the max file size on ext4 is… you guessed it, 16TiB.
We learned a LOT of lessons from this, and are now offloading a shitload of json into either MongoDB or gcs, depending on the requirements. The largest table is down to 3TiB now :D
I understood almost none of that.
Database (thing that holds and retrieves bunch of data) broke when it reached a size of 16 Terabytes because the underlying filesystem (Thing that lets you store data on a physical disk like a hard drive or SSD) has a maximum possible size of 16 Terabytes by default (ext4)
16 TiB is roughly 16,000 Gigabytes which is roughly 16,000,000 Megabytes
Ty. I understood the tb but I didn’t know what a lot of the other abbreviations meant.
I love it.
All the other comments had guns sex and drugs.
Your story had mySQL.
Mad lad.
An experimental energy storage device exploded down the street, and a couple big chunks of shrapnel came down through the ceiling, smashed the shit out of an empty cube. We were lucky no one sat there.
Donnie Darko sequel shit
Owner shot himself after bankrupting the company through embezzlement and we had to vacate all residential patients within a week knowing we wouldn’t get paid and would be losing our jobs, haha!
One day a coworker of mine was walking into our huge office building and thought he saw a mitten on the ground of the lobby. When he picked it up it was actually a pair of lacy women’s underwear. Ostensibly it fell out of someone’s gym bag or got caught in their pant leg in the laundry and dislodged there. He drops it immediately and comes into the office. He doesn’t mention this to anyone.
Two hours later the main receptionist comes in with the underwear in front of our whole group and says she saw him drop these this morning and she wants to return them. He’s denying the whole thing and at this point none of us have the previous context and all locked in to the conversation and silent laughing. She says, “We just want to give these back in case they have sentimental value!” and the the whole group is dying laughing now. He eventually convinces her he isn’t interested in a stranger’s underwear (which she bare handing) to which she says she’ll keep them in case he changes his mind (???).
It’s been 5 years and it gets brought up nearly daily
Funny if they were her panties all along. Turned the embarrassment from “Guess who dropped her panties in the lobby” to " Guess who was playing with panties in the lobby."
This adds a whole new dimension to the lore.
Sounds like the receptionist did this on purpose lol
Someone must’ve summoned Shenron the day before he found them and got underwhelmed by the wish fulfillment.
Oolong back on his shit
Does he still work there and does he laugh with you? Otherwise this sounds like bullying
Our department sometimes had a few interns, most of them young and female. Usually one of them got her workplace in the boss’s room in the office and he had plenty of time to show them how things are done etc.
One day the boss invited all staff to his house for a nice little summer barbecue. Later in the evening we recognized him being absent from the party for nearly 2 hours, and one of the interns was missing for exactly the same time.
That time the food cart pod exploded:
https://www.oregonlive.com/portland/2017/10/food_cart_pod_on_fire_in_downt.html
Them including that pic of Audrey Donovan is hilarious
Used to work at a local resort. One time, Kid Rock rented out the whole top floor of the hotel, and requested no staff go up there during his stay. Of course, it’s a hotel full of minimum wage teenagers, so intra-staff communication is abysmal. A maid ended up running into a naked Kid Rock holding a bag of cocaine lol
I hurt my back working today. That was an incident.
Coworker in sales got mad at one of the shipping guys thinking his packing of the pallet was insufficient. They get into a verbal spat until the sales guy walks to his car and pulls his gun on the shipping guy, the shipping guy, who also happened to be a retired marine and allowed by the owner to open carry in the office. Sales guy was lucky the only thing he lost that day was his job.
No shots were fired since the sales guy was stupid but not that stupid. We kind of had a collective “that’s not terribly surprising” moment later when the cop was over for the police report and brought up sales guy’s past mugshots like “was this the guy”.
Most average day in the American workplace? That’s just bonkers.
It happens but not as often as our public image would make you think. Most people who own guns/carry are responsible.
No, this is very, very far from normal here.
We had a 2 drinks limit at company after hours gigs. Not that bad, but it was apparently because someone drank a bunch and then walked onto a highway. There was also the time the FBI came into the building to ask about a sales guy who took part in 1/6.
