I, just wanna stop feeling anything. Never had friends but I could live with that, but I just want someone to embrace, someone that feels something for me, even if doesn’t last. Better than 0 for the rest of my life. This situation is slowly killing me.
The only thing that gives me some relief is gaming… (I read the post of like a week ago here that several dudes met their partner thanks to a videogame and I felt even sadder, why that wasn’t me? I’ve been gaming for 30 years now).
Join Meetup. That’s what I did. I run a hiking group and rock climbing group now
Majority of dating like apps are useless for me
I’m not a huge fan of what they charge to start a group, but Meetup is not a dating or dating-like site. It’s for finding a group that does something together. You don’t have to audition, you just click and say you’re attending an event and then just show up.
Found a local developer meetup and poker group through. There might be like a gaming group in your area for instance. Worth a shot, right?
I think it’s worth a shot
Meetup isn’t a thing in this country. Never learned how to play any card game anyways
Huh? What country do you live in?
You’re not even bothering to look up the suggestions?
I’m starting to feel like you’re not looking for genuine help.
Meetup enconpasses everything from gaming to support groups
I don’t really know.
I’ve made some bad experiences in school when the general narrative was “men are all bad people” so I distanced myself from anyone. But that’s a stupid way of society.
Men are not all bad people. You need to look at the person individually. Go out and have some self-confidence. Ask yourself: how would you see yourself? What if you encountered yourself, how would you react? I think answering these questions helps you to find a path in life that works better for you.
Hope that I could help you.
I would fuck myself honestly. I don’t care about hobbies or being “interesting”. Why not the rest can be like that?
honestly, from what i’ve heard, lots of gay men seem to think like that.
Oh FFS don’t call be gay just for saying that, I’m not fucking gay. I’m saying that if I were a girl I would have sex with me, ME. Only because, yeah I’m a loser, but I’m not a bad person and I don’t care about someone’s hobbies. If I could pick a girl using a magic spell the last thing I would care is if she’s “interesting” or “quirky”. For me if she’s isn’t social that’s a plus.
I don’t care about someone’s hobbies.
If you care about someone, you pay attention and show interest anyway. I don’t give two shits about Taylor Swift, but I know SO much about it because my wife loves it, and I play along.
Isn’t that lying? You just said it, you don’t give a shit. I’m being 100 percent honest with this “imaginary other person”… But I guess people don’t care about honesty these days. I guess asking someone loving and me loving her back just for “us” without the need of being interesting is impossible.
Sorry that this isn’t helpful, but for many years it was alcohol.
Yeah, same, and seems like a temporary solution but I’m trying to stop being overweight.
I found that physical workout classes are very good as long as you show up consistently
I’ve done that before. Not for me.
I don’t think OP is actually interested in making their life better, but for anyone else who saw the post and was like “oh that’s me” there are good answers in the other replies.
Nothing I’m going to write is especially original.
First off, you probably need to be somewhere where there are people. Cities are great. Nowhere, Nebraska is going to make things harder. If you’re out in the country you’re probably going to need to move or commute. There may still be local stuff happening, but with fewer people there’s probably less of it.
But once you find where people hang out, you can probably find a meetup or similar, and go.
There was a board game meetup I went to before the pandemic that had regulars and new people every month. Good way of making friends. I don’t like board games that much, but it was still fun.
There’s a bar near me that runs events from mixers to movie nights to kink stuff. I’ve gone to the mixers and made a handful of friends and acquaintances.
The local library by me does stuff. Lessons, talks, I think they might have book discussion groups.
Stop making excuses. Sitting there going “I don’t like bars. I don’t like board games. The library is too far away. The city is too loud” isn’t helping. You can make excuses for anything to justify not changing, but then you won’t change! You’ll stay just as you are, with opportunities slipping away. No manic pixie dream girl is coming for you. The would-be friend you could make is at the movie night chatting with someone who actually showed up, even though he doesn’t like the genre that much.
If some of the problems are actual blockers, like “I live deep in the suburbs with no public transit and no car”, then cool: that’s your first problem to solve. You’re not really going to get anywhere (no pun intended) without addressing that.
How are those excuses? That’s a reality I live and I can’t change, I’m not trying to lie to you. Also notice how I’m only replying certain people
It’s hard to engage with your problem specifically because I don’t know your specifics. I understand you might not want to share details like where you live.
It feels like just making excuses when someone’s like “find a board game group” and the other person’s like “I don’t like board games”, and dead ends it there. Like, the deep meaning there is to find a group based around a shared activity. It doesn’t have to be that specifically. Board games, bird watching, bike riding, choir, book club, just general mixers for people in the area, kink groups, whatever. There’s a whole world of stuff. It doesn’t feel like you’re making any effort beyond shooting down suggestions.
But, as I said, if the problem is “I don’t have a car or means of getting to where people meet”, then you should fix that first.
I like certain videogames, that’s it. Majority of adults and especially women aren’t into them.
I kind of think you’re trolling. There’s really nothing else in the world you like? Not even food?
If that is true, or at least you believe it to be true, you should probably consider a wider entertainment diet because that doesn’t sound healthy.
There’s a whole world out there. Go try more of it.
I’m not. Yeah, I like food but that’s basic nature. I despise trying to cook.
There are food groups.
There are social groups for other “basic nature” stuff.
Go find something you like.
You asked how to cure loneliness. There’s your answer. Go find stuff to do with other people in person. Stop sad-posting on here.
I wish you understand, we’re going in circles. I don’t like anything and most of the things you say aren’t a thing here.
People have met their partner in a video game? I don’t know dude… Don’t count on that chance of happening.
Anyway, stop focusing on not trying to be lonely. It will only make you more lonely.
Yeah, maybe they were lying or something, but it still bummed me out. It was a post here from last week
My brother in Linus, get busy. make a game
You sound depressed. It’s a dark place, like a deep sinkhole, that you might not be able to climb out of by yourself. Seek help. You can get antidepressants that will lift some of the weight and sadness. With them, you’ll be able to take a breath, go outside and socialize. You’ll find the energy to actually meet people. It’s always better to start with friends (including women), a romantic relationship can come later. Once you’re able to get into a healthy routine, you might be able to get off the meds.
That’s not a possibility to me.
Why not?
Perhaps lack of money in combination with being born in the wrong country? I’m sorry if that’s the case.
Getting outside can help- a walk, dog park, outdoor cafe, …
Having a dog helped me really get to know lots of people in the area when I moved home to somewhere totally new to me. Having a really friendly and safe dog breed makes you immediately so much more approachable, an ice breaker conversation (the dog), and a regular opportunity to meet the same people out and about.
If you’re in a situation where a dog is a good choice, I’d really recommend it.
I would add that demonstrating that you know how to love and care for another being also makes you feel safer and more approachable to someone weary of strange men. It’s a great way to put a potential victim at ease.
The family already has a dog
How do you feel about the dog? Would you be willing to take him/her for a short walk each day? Having someone/something that depends on you can be huge. When my son was struggling he got a cat. It gave him a reasom to go home each night. Sometimes you’ll do for someone else what you won’t do for yourself.
No, not really. I was against having it.
Considering your comments, you are probably in a mindset where I’d recommend reading the funny named “How to Be Miserable” by Randy Patterson. https://www.goodreads.com/book/show/25898044-how-to-be-miserable
If books are too much right now, you can get a great summary by CGP Grey’s video based on it https://youtube.com/watch?v=LO1mTELoj6o Be sure to watch the footnote video after too (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8qGCAE1jte8)
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Employment - you currently have 0 social encumbrance. It’s a good time to job hop and move around, you meet a lot of people and learn a lot of social cues. Also better job gives more money for gaming.
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Stop looking; the dating world post 30 is absolutely horrific, and it will destroy your mental health. The people in there are not all that bad, but the online dating scene brings out the worst in everyone. Time to explore the wilds and visit local cafes (worst comes to worst, you get good tea/coffee).
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The type of people you meet varies with the type of game you play. If it has “more tits than a birdwatcher’s photobook”, you’re not going to meet many women. If it’s a wholesome online farming sim that ratio changes, but it’s still rough as a guy. Games are great for meeting people, but not for meeting lovers.
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At the end of the day, when the loneliness bites hard, don’t be afraid to call a hotline for help.
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Ok, ready for the big one? Stop looking for a partner and start looking for friends - the kind of people you can sit in a cafe with, or complain about work with. Guys, girls or those in between; doesn’t matter. The thing that helped me most was making a few good friends who I still travel over a hundred miles to meet monthly, and who I game with weekly online.
Edit - pressed submit early
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Take some generic advice about mindset. Help yourself out here. Stop feeling sorry for yourself and do something about the situation. If it doesn’t work, stay focused and try something else.
I would suggest joining a local group that interests you. Try something new, like dancing or learning a new language. We are the product of our habits. So if you dont change your habits then your course for the future remains the same.
There are many hackerspaces, language exchanges , gyms , theathre groups etc . you just need to put yourself out there. Be your authentic self and look to form friendships before any romantic interests.
You can do it ❤️
Get busy faggit https://youtu.be/QIN77nLLaIw?si=vabZAmQ0giCAv8zR
Why did you post this? It seems like, given your responses here, that you largely don’t want to change anything about yourself or your situation.
