I completely stopped caring about 2 years ago, I realized I was never going to do anything with my good look and that I will never get into a relationship in my life, so I just figured out “what’s the point then, I’m already invisible to women?” And I don’t care about my health tbh…
Since I don’t have kids or my own family I could just disappear and nothing would happen. No, I’m not thinking about extreme stuff to end my life, I just stopped caring and now eat a lot and drink.
If I’m going to be alone and feeling sad, at least let me eat something good and greasy. Still, I’m just 100 KG at 34 years old right now, just skinny fat… For now.
I’m sad that you were made to think this way. That you don’t consider yourself important enough to care about yourself. You never need to “look good for others”. Fuck that BS. I’m going to be 40 this year. These last few years I’ve been really experimenting with my looks. Never standing still, never stopping. You’re not a painting to be put in a frame and stand still. You’re a living, feeling being. Take care
No, I’m not free. And I’m not important in this world, majority isn’t. And I don’t have kids or a wife. If I disappear in the grand scheme of things, nothing really valuable has been lost.
Is complete bullshit that we’re equal or that we all have the same “value”.
You got sold on the capitalist rat race, friend. It’s not a competition. There’s so much stuff you could do that you haven’t even considered that’s way better than the stuff you’re thinking on. Stow away on a ship, climb a mountain, build a birdhouse, grow a garden, create a lascivious interpretive dance that you do in the town square until they throw you in the nuthouse now you need to charm the doctors to get out.
Think outside the box before you spend so much time thinking you’re not good enough for some random criteria.
I’m not going to do any of that.
Why not?
Why is the default response for “nobody even knows I exist” to curl up in a ball and bitch about it on the Internet?
If there is nothing holding you back, then you can do anything you want. What do you have to lose if you feel like you have nothing?
And if your response is that you don’t have the motivation or mindset, or you can’t bring yourself to care… buddy, that’s a mental health issue, and there are people who’s job it is to help people experiencing the same things.
I know how you feel. Don’t worry. I’ve been there, I will be there again. I take meds to not feel this way all the time.
Here’s something trippy: if , you disappeared EVERYTHING would change FOR YOU. The world as you know it would cease to exist. All options all routes …gone.
Am I important for the world? I am the most important person in MY world, because without me, it wouldn’t exist.
If I disappear nothing would change because I’ll be fucking dead and will stop feeling sadness or anything.
I hope your outlook changes and you find peace and happiness my friend
Exactly. Look good for yourself not for others.
But even uf you dont care about your looks, working out is really good for physical and mental health
Already said it, I really don’t care if I die young.
Health does not just mean having a long lifespan. It is about enjoying the lifetime you get.
Life is much more enjoyable with a healthy body and mind.
I was fit before and arguably even more miserable. The whole gym bro shit is bullshit.
Being fit does not mean being ‘gym bro’. I am 34 and obese. I am actively dieting and working out in order to lose weight, not because I want to be attractive or live forever, but because doing basic daily tasks was hell. I existed in a world where casually walking 10 minutes to work meant I was so warm and sweaty that I needed to shower. I could not squat or kneel down to pick things up or my knees would burn with pain. I was not healthy. My weight caused me to snore, making me more tired. I was walking around like a geriatric at the age of 32.
You don’t have to be a fitness guru who eats kale and chugs protein shakes to be healthy, but the giving up entirely is 100% more miserable than having basic mobility. And it’s a lot harder to come back from when you’re too heavy to work out to your full capacity.
Those women don’t deserve you. Live your life for your own enjoyment. But keeping a healthy weight is important to enjoy your later life.
I have never been in good shape, allways overweight, I used to feel ashamed about it, but once I hit thirty I simply realized that there is no point to feeling ashamed, doing so only harms me and my attempts to get into a less bad shape.
Was pretty much the other way round for me, realized around age 25 or so that I’d spend the later part of my life feeling like shit with constant back problems if I didn’t get out more. So these days I make a point of getting out on my bike or going on longer walks at least a couple times a week. Not for looks or women, but for myself.
I stopped caring in college after getting sick of athletic injuries. Luckily a few years later I got back into it. It doubles as my audiobook time. I mostly do steady state, and stretch regularly
I feel better throughout the day, have more energy than peers, and it gives me the enjoyment of movement
It helps me manage my adhd
The brain truly is a fucked up machine that wants itself to feel as terrible as possible. The way it does this is by giving large short term rewards to stuff that make you feel worse and worse long term.
Working out and living healthily is not about seducing people, it’s about making yourself feel better by engaging in stuff that yields long term rewards, even though they feel like fruitless efforts in the moment to moment gameplay of dopamine.
Having gone there and back my experience is that giving up feels really good, but in a much more real sense it feels terrible. And just reading your post I can see you feel terrible.
The good news is when you’re that low, any sustained effort can make you feel a bit better. Seeking professional help is one that’s a bit hard to start but a bit easier to ritualize into a habit.
You’re gonna hate this answer but I stopped caring when I was doing so much cardio that I was too tired to care how I looked at the end of it. I started getting a little pudgy again this year and then found another sport that I’m addicted to and is getting me shredded with nothing but core work and cardio. I eat and drink more than I used to too. Your fixation on women is torturing yourself.
What might this mysterious sport be?
Surf skating.
I converted my standard cruiser board with a pivoting front truck and elevated back rails so instead of legs kicking, I pull forward momentum from turning my lead shoulder and core and shifting the board along my center of gravity. Never have to step off to move. I love it.
But have you tried…baseball? Baseball is life!
Well this was certainly a nice pity party.
Yeah, OP’s responses are somewhere between nihilistic and suicidal. There won’t be any meaningful discussion here. Others are trying, that isn’t what he wants to hear.
ITT: OP has not discovered the name for this feeling is “depression”.
A lot of us are rooting for you OP, even if you don’t want to hear it.
You’re right. I don’t want to.
I know you don’t care, but I was in the same position as you. I gave up and tried to drown myself in food and alcohol.
Things can change. Even if you are 100% sure right now that they won’t. When they changed for me, my mind and body already had irreparable damage. My memory suffered from the alcohol, my body will forever look ugly from the rapid weight gain. No amount of working out can fix that.
What I am trying to say is: Even if you don’t believe in it, your attitude can change. Just like that, from one day to the next. Then you will regret your choices, but the damage is already done. Remember that.
A little different in my case. I started intermittent fasting last year and lost some weight to get to my ideal weight for my height. I was probably 10-ish lbs over before I started. Now that I’m skinnier and able to maintain it because of IF, I also lost some muscle mass, at least visually. What I hate with being skinny is upper arms get too thin and all my shirt sleeves look big as I can’t fill them out. Since I’m too lazy to go to the gym to get my biceps/triceps bigger, I gave up and just accepted my skinny arms and legs. At least that’s better than being overweight as I get older.
At least that’s better than being overweight as I get older.
How could you say something so controversial, yet so brave?
I’ve actually started caring more now than before.
You wanna know my secret? I never cared about staying in shape…
I never quit never quitting. I lead from the front as an example to everyone but mainly my children. Your body is your ship to travel through this reality. I want the most functional vessel possible that’s ready for all eventualities. I have dysmorphia and I’m not sure how I look but I don’t care. Not caring (and selective caring) is one of the most powerful tools you can have in this existence. Honestly though, you sound maladjusted. Significance and happiness cannot be derived from other people and your attitude about it is uglier than 200 extra kilos will ever be. Start loving yourself and develop some goals for you and you’ll likely find an entirely different reality. And this is coming from a place of love, one bridge troll to another, ya know? 😉
No. And I will never have children so it makes even less sense to me. Goals for what?
I’m not sure your steppin’ in what I’m putting down. You don’t need children or anyone else. You need to do some serious housekeeping before you invite anyone else over. And if you can find happiness within yourself you need to seek help. Any expectation that others are going to want to care about someone that doesn’t care about themselves is highly fallacious.
Goals for what?
Goals for your happiness. You know, ones that aren’t about other people?
I was on again, off again exercise.
Moved, travelling, finding house, job etc. Didn’t do anything fitness just walking.
Well now I’m the wrong side of 30 not doing exercise means my knees have been hurting for 2 weeks from a short 2 day hike. Stay in shape for your own wellbeing. My knees sound like bubblewrap.
Mine too
