I have autism and this fact has disturbed me greatly for some time, to the point its led me to some dark paths. I just want to know if I can actually live a normal life with it or am I doomed to be a weirdo forever?
I remember you from that psych ward post the other day :)
I think you can definitely live a fulfilling life. I have high functioning autism myself and I live one.
But you will not be “normal”. Yes, you’ll always be a “weirdo”. I’m also very much so a weirdo.
There are NT people in here that say everyone is weird, and they’re pretty much correct. But if you’re autistic you’re still “more weird” in many ways and faced with more challenges socially.
The trick is to figure out how to be fine with that reality. I assure you that it’s possible. But “figuring out how to be fine with it” necessarily implies that you have to change yourself, your mindset, what you believe is true. It requires constant evaluation of yourself and of trying out new things, new ways of thinking, new beliefs.
So yeah, I’m sure you can live a fulfilling life :) just try to be open to new things, try to seek them out as much as you can, and try to be open to change :)
Ill try but I admit I am tempted to go get a gun and just blow my brains out
It’s certainly a possible choice. I can’t really help you with that though, you got to know yourself if that’s right for you.
For me, I felt terrible throughout a majority of my life. I don’t know if I was lucky or what, but I somehow never seriously considered ending my life. For me, that was really good, because I could have never imagined how good my life can be. If I look at today, it would just be extremely sad if I didn’t get to experience such a happy state.
I don’t know what your future holds, no one does. But I personally think that there’s at least a chance that you’d experience the same thing.
If you have ADHD and autism, it might increase the risk of substance abuse/addictions in general. Some papers on it: https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/23897915/, https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC5222913/, https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC3965675/
I just smoke weed. Im suicidal at times though
I had a brush with both alcoholism and video game addiction before. Good to hear that you don’t have to deal with any addictions.
I think what could really help is having a tight circle of friends. When you have nothing going on for you in life and you are not really looking forward for anything, it might get you in this circular thinking of “my life is ruined because my brain doesn’t work right” and really focusing on this thought and seeing your neurodivergency as the root of all discomfort in your life, which may then manifest itself as suicidal thoughts. I have been there and I sometimes still have such episodes because I don’t get what I expect from my friends. So yeah, this is of course no easy task, but try to find people that will enrich your life with new things. Try to find things you can look forward to. You can say that it’s just coping, and it is, you are trying to disassociate from the pain of living with autism, but there is no other way around it; you can’t solve autism, you can only cope with it. There is no shame in coping with something that you cannot change.
Hang in there! If you try, it can only get better.
Thank you for the kind words. Ill try to cope as much as possible
This might be a good read for you.
It’s written by Dave Plummer, retired software engineer for Microsoft who developed task manager, amongst other things. He discovered later in life that he was on the spectrum and wrote a book about all the things he wished he’d known sooner, regarding autism.
He also has a great youtube channel.
I’m living a pretty fulfilling life with a different disability (not going into it). The only trouble is how literally everyone outside my family, even my doctor, are subtly trying to convince me to kill myself. Just today my doctor kicked me out of her practice because I asked to get an early refill on a couple prescriptions (not this month, next month) to go on a trip in two months. Planning that far ahead means I’m a drug addict. Go figure. So now I’m scrambling to see if I can find a doctor in time to get the refills that run out this month, because she’s a petty bitch and won’t fill those. Yaaaaay.
I know 3 different people that are on the spectrum and while they do experience life differently and face different and or unique challenges, yes, absolutely you can live a normal fulfilling life.
Like with any mental health condition, it can make things that are everyday or normal for most folks more difficult so its important to not only seek guidance from a mental health professional but also have a good support structure. People you can count on to help you when you need it.
Everyone is a little different of course so finding the right fit for each can be kinda hard but all 3 people i know are happy, healthy, and are living a good life.
Everyone is weird anyways. I know plenty of neruotypical people that do weird stuff. Humans are weird by nature so what “normal” is to one person might be “weird” to another.
Neurotypicals are such strange animals. I like to think that the predatory behavior and lack of regard for others is a holdover from a more dangerous time. It’s an ancient, embedded set of instructions that exist in their DNA like outdated firmware. Maybe CRISPR can cure them.
I mean… Usually and in my experience the thing preventing this or making it harder is other people being terrible and/or unreasonable rather than my own shortcomings. It’s theoretically possible. Have had a lot of ups and downs.
You can be a fulfilled weirdo I’m pretty sure
https://youtube.com/@DLstandup?si=OWSOsBRaa0Plldoi
Dan Lamorte An excellent standup comedian who is autistic, some very clever bits about the spectrum. Making a living off standup comedy, marathon runner and in a happy relationship.
Nice, thanks
Yes, it’s very possible to live a normal life, and even to be happy. You can learn to appreciate yourself for the things you’re good at. I’ve been lucky in several aspects, sure, but I’ve managed to shape my life around my needs. I found a partner as weird as I am, I have a remote job mostly working with computers, and I have a few very good very close friends.
I’ve struggled with depression and anxiety my whole life, without medication as I don’t want to rely on anything I can’t make for myself. I feel like I’m constantly falling forwards and only barely catching myself before I hit the ground, some days. But life is good. I enjoy walks in the sun and playing games with my friends and making my partner giggle. I didn’t get handed these things, I found them after years and years of looking. You can too, just don’t give up. It is worth it.
I don’t really have much to say on the topic, even as someone with autism myself, but I hope things get better for you! Life has its ups and downs, and I hope brighter days will come for you!
Here, have a tune: https://youtu.be/UFtNhNuUN8Y
I hope it makes you feel a tad better or something. I know I like this song a lot, and this artist is one that I have listened to a lot when feeling more “down.” I hope it might make you feel better, or at least have some positive effect!
Considering I didn’t think I had it (but everyone else tells me I do and I can see why they’d think that) and I’ve had a pretty decent life (I’m old), I think so. My kid officially does have it, so I guess they got it from me, and I’ll be damn sure they have a good life.
Also, I would wager a tooooon of historical figures had it but people just called them “weird”. I’d bet that a huge chunk of scientists and engineers in days past had it.
Autism, especially higher functioning, often comes with clinical-level anxiety. Definately talk to a psychiatrist and therapist. If you’re already on anxiety meds that aren’t working, try a different one. Keep in mind that the wrong one can cause suicidal thoughts. They vary quite a bit, and new ones are coming out all the time. You’ll eventually find one that helps take the edge off your anxiety. That will help you cope with the other things better. From my experience, things also get naturally better as you age, so there is light in the tunnel.
Edit: One other suggestion. Do the bad thoughts come at night? That’s also common. If so, try going to bed earlier - before they get a chance to get cranked up. Wake up earlier so you can have quiet time doing something peaceful like sipping coffee.
Yeah suicidal and self harm thoughts often come in the middle of the night. And yeah the psych ward got me on certain meds Im still taking but don’t think they’re working
They often take months to actually show a noticeable difference. Please keep it up if it hasn’t been that long, it’s tough though. Feel free to DM me if you have any specific medication -related questions.
I don’t see why not. I don’t have autism and I sure don’t live a fulfilling life, so clearly not having autism hasn’t done me any good there. So if it’s possible for someone to have a fulfilling life at all, then I can’t imagine autism being sufficient on its own to be likely to change that fact.
That really depends on the how it affects you and what you consider fulfilling. I’m autistic and I think things are going pretty well. I work as a programmer, which I usually like and where my qualities can shine. Because of this I managed to buy a place to live and never really have to worry about money too much. Compared to many NTs my life may look boring, because I tend to stay pretty close to home and usually spend a lot of time at home, but it’s how I function best. I enjoy my hobbies and “charge” my energy for the occasional event where I do leave my “bubble” for a festival or something. I’m not sure how the future may look, and I definitely don’t have everything perfectly managed yet, but overall I think it’s definitely going well.
Glad its working out for you
I know several people with autism diagnosis. They all have ups and downs, problems and victories, joy and sadness. But they all are liked among friends and at work. It’s usually family (parents) that is the most likely source of shit.
A few things you would want to pursue are a healthy relationship and a curated friend group. That takes a while, as you can imagine.
The fear of not belonging or doing something strange and being judged, or fear of not seeing a hidden agenda… It’s something that you’re going to have to work on. You are the way you are. It’s going to hinder you and it’s going to help you, you can’t predict that.
That’s strange, I got a job at the post office and despite my best efforts to be congenial and polite, those people were gossipy little bitches who couldn’t get over my existence, but especially themselves.
I’ll def work on it and try to get more friends and get into a relationship that doesnt end quickly.