Obviously I can understand why mysoginists are hated upon, As their belief is all women are trash or men are superior etc. But why are incels also generally hated upon? They are lacking in a way that makes them unable to gey in a relationship, but that shouldn’t necessarily mean they are mysoginists, right?

What am I missing here? I haven’t ever had a relationship with a woman, but I don’t hate all women either. I just consider myself unlucky. Does that make me an incel?

  • silly goose meekah@lemmy.world
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    9 months ago

    I really don’t think you understand how bad it is. 30% of young men are in a relationship, while 65% of young women are in a relationship. Makes things pretty difficult, you see.

    This comment is basically the equivalent of telling a depressed person to just be happy.

    • kava@lemmy.world
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      9 months ago

      That statistic is wild. I don’t understand how people have such a hard time finding girlfriends. I feel like you give a girl a little affection and she sticks to you like glue.

      I think incels specifically it makes sense because they have a warped and negative perspective on the world. And nobody wants to spend any significant amount of time with a negative Nancy, much less a deluded one.

    • tronx4002@lemmy.world
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      9 months ago

      Where did you get that stat from? With the lopsided numbers I would wonder how accurate it is, or if there is a difference in how men and women classify “in a relationship”.

      • Churbleyimyam@lemm.ee
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        9 months ago

        The lopsided numbers reflect younger girls being with older guys who are outside of the quoted age bracket. It’s pretty much been like this for all of human history. At the end of the day, the biggest ‘losers’ in this game of musical chairs are older women. So, the fairest way of making sure that everyone gets matched is to put the old single women with the incels.

        • AnalogyAddict@lemmy.world
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          9 months ago

          As an older woman, I can testify that we totally won the game. We’re out loving life while everyone else you mentioned lives in a strange combination of fear, avarice, and disappointment.

        • Jojo@lemm.ee
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          9 months ago

          Saying what probably causes the numbers to be lopsided is really not the same as citing a source.

          • Churbleyimyam@lemm.ee
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            9 months ago

            Either it’s the way I said it, or there are billions more lesbians in the world than we ever could have known, or there are billions of guys in the world who have more than one girlfriend. Unless of course we’ve been misled and there are in fact billions less girls in existence than we thought.

            • Jojo@lemm.ee
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              9 months ago

              Or, and hear me out, the statistic is just something some guy on Lemmy said and was never substantiated and is (at the very least potentially) unreliable.

    • Churbleyimyam@lemm.ee
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      9 months ago

      No, it’s telling a young single guy to be patient. The other thing that statistic tells you is that later on you can expect to have a girlfriend who is significantly younger than you, which many guys would actually be happy about.

      • Redfox8@mander.xyz
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        9 months ago

        I think the problem with your comment was that you summed it up by saying ‘it’s simple’ when it’s a time of our lives when we start to have some freedom to explore our desires (sexual or otherwise) without the control/pressures of home and/or school life. There’s also ongoing peer pressures pushing and pulling us about. It is nothing like a simple time in our lives (hence why so many people go online and talk about if, as you highlighted).

        Yes, I’d agree with the sentiment to keep treating others well and to be patient (broadly what my approach to life has been, now 45 so older like you), but it certainly isn’t easy or simple to do especially when there’s a lot of seeing others having what you don’t.

        • Churbleyimyam@lemm.ee
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          9 months ago

          Sure, and I do agree with you. Being young is really intense and having identities like ‘incel’ pushed at you doesn’t help with that. Saying it’s simple might sound dismissive but young guys these days need a bit of hope and encouragement because our culture is doing a particularly bad job of both reflecting the realities of being a typical adult man and of offering a positive vision of what that could be in the future. Each generation of guys has its own challenges (for mine it was alcohol dependence) but with hindsight you can see that all of them do come out the other side with a good haul of girlfriends :)