Obviously I can understand why mysoginists are hated upon, As their belief is all women are trash or men are superior etc. But why are incels also generally hated upon? They are lacking in a way that makes them unable to gey in a relationship, but that shouldn’t necessarily mean they are mysoginists, right?
What am I missing here? I haven’t ever had a relationship with a woman, but I don’t hate all women either. I just consider myself unlucky. Does that make me an incel?
“Incel” doesn’t just mean someone who is involuntarily celibate.
It’s a bit like how “Democrat” doesn’t just mean someone who participates in a democracy and “pro-life” doesn’t just mean someone who likes life on earth.
Incels are a specific subculture, it has a violent misogynistic ideology and has spawned several mass murderers.
No one is entitled to sex. That is not a right anyone has. Thus, the only way to be involuntarily celibate is being force to become a monk under threat or something. The idea that people are entitled to receive the love/sex/intimacy of others is fucked up and betrays the fundamental trust implied by consent. Which is the right of everyone involved to refuse, withdraw, or straight up remove themselves from participating in an intimate situation, at any time, without the need to provide any sort of explanation or justification.
The proposal that these people are entitled to sex gives rapey vibes and naturally generates disgusts in anyone who thinks rationally about the proposition for more than a minute. Because of the implication.
Ah, I miss the good old days of r/incelwithouthate. The perfect site for a subhuman like me without the possible terrorism.
Go on any incel echo chamber and you’ll know.
the internet is a dumping ground for suppressed frustration
Explain to me how the basic concept is not misogynistic in itself.
As I’ve understood it, the idea of the incel movement is that these people deserve to get fucked, by whomever they choose, that they don’t have any obligation to change anything about themselves, they are just being treated unfairly.
It ignores the other person completely, they are just some price they deserve, not a living breathing person with their own feelings and preferences.
I realize people have trouble with social interaction, but an interaction with another person is inherently social, no two ways about it.
Mostly the murder. Murder is generally frowned upon.
I’ve never encountered an incel that wasn’t misogynistic. Generally they blame women for their lack of sex.
I blame my looks and bank account for lack of sex.
Have you tried lowering your standards?
I don’t want to be condescending or patronising, however: looks are less important than personal hygene, personal care and charisma, three things that can be acquired quite easily as there is a lot of literarure on all of them. Money certainly enables you to get better clothes and widen your horizons, but alone it will not do much for you. The most important thing though is certainly hygene. And remember that when you go out with someone the first time, usually what they are trying to understand is if you are completely deranged or viable human material. Try to fit the second category and you’ll do great. Poor people and ugly people also get laid, so that’s not an excuse.
It’s the socially-unaware and self-centered worldview. Not much else as all of the symptoms seem to flow from that.
There’s a crucial distinction between someone that wants to have sex, but cannot, and someone that chooses to identify as that. To really become an “incel” in the negative sense, you lose the desire to have sex because being denied sexual contact by others is part of your identity now.
People that merely don’t find others that are sexually interested in them can do things to help themselves, learn better grooming habits, dress nicer, practice approaching and talking to people, etc. Someone that has adopted the identity of “incel” can only help themselves by changing their perception away from the toxic void they found.
You won’t find a genuine answer in these comments. Incels are hated because you can easily make up excuses to.
Here’s one, right above yours: https://lemmy.world/comment/7692893
Their second statement is that cannot be an incel if not as “a monk under threat or something” and you consider that an exhaustive answer.
Sex is part of a human’s life. To not experience intimate relationships is detrimental to mental health, independently from the social pressure.
People who declare themselves “involuntary celibate” deserve compassion, not to be frowned upon.
Don’t care if their analogy falls short. They’re right. No one is entitled to sex. Full stop. That’s exhaustive and complete.
The hallmark of a person colloquially known as an incel is someone who believes they are entitled to sex.
An incel blames women for their singleness.
There are some amazing people out there who just, for whatever reason, find themselves without a partner. Confidence, mental health, physical health, family commitments, location.
When they seek solice online they find themselves on the fringes of incel communities. However, it doesn’t sit right, because they are not incels. They don’t hate-blame half the population. They maybe blame themselves, or see the circumstances that led them to their present state before a blanket blame is cast upon a bunch of people they don’t know.
Important to note that many also blame other men.
When they sit there looking at a girl, frustrated and angry that they can’t talk to her as they grip their beer with increasing strength… I just walk up and say hey how’s it going.
In that scenario, I am a massive asshole that has deprived them of the opportunity to have that woman. I took her attention all for myself and left him none. Even though at no point was he ever going to let this woman know he existed or talked to her.
Because people like to hate. The internet, 'tis a silly place. I recommend ignoring.
It is generally used to reffer to men who blame women for themselves not being able to get into relationships, not everyone who isn’t in a relationship
People naturally don’t want to think they are the problem. So, they blame society which leads to blaming women which leads to misogyny which leads to the dark side.
People who label themselves as incels are somewhat accepting that the factors that lead them to be incels are unchangeable ( physical characteristics, limiting standards, social deficiencies, bad luck). So they have taken the steps to the dark side. And vocal incels are more often well on that path.
