I was assigned male at birth but have increasingly started to notice over the years that other guys don’t have a big notch on either side of their torsos like I do. It’s my pelvic bone. I would go to a doctor to see what they had to say but they’ve seen me plenty of times and said absolutely nothing about being intersex and now I live in a rural conservative area and they don’t seem to diagnose the same way in hardly anything that is a conservative third rail. I just seem to have a really wide pelvis just like a female. Everything else seems male. I am a very normal weight so it’s not fat tissue - its clearly bone. I just feel gaslit over it and have been trying to gauge perceptions people have of me in my life in order to get on with things. I hate to turn to the internet but this is driving me crazy. I need something to work with, somewhere to start.
Maybe it’s just me but…you’ve got to be kidding.
Oddities in your bones don’t really mean much. I have a 13th pair of ribs, “people” are only supposed to have 12, but there’s a lot of variability floating around.
I sort of knew but didn’t properly understand this is my early 20s. I always thought that transitioning would be easy and I put it off, since I had a fairy femme figure… Of course then I hit 25 and out of nowhere seemingly my whole torso changed shape. Really surprisingly suddenly!
Do you mean your iliac furrows, also known as an “Adonis Belt”? Some people work hard for years to define them with workouts.
I prefer “cum gutters”, makes the heteros upseteros
I have webbed toes. Doesn’t mean anything it’s just the way you’re built.
Anything that relates somehow to the X and Y chromosomes being spontaneous would be, if you ask me, intersex by definition. But you’d need to do a DNA mapping.
spontaneous?
There is plenty of overlap in body types between men and women.
If you are thin, you may just be more aware of the bones. Unless you start putting on fat in a more female pattern I wouldn’t even consider intersex a possibility, much less a probability. But it’s YOUR body, and your worry, talk to your doctor.
What you are is a guy with a wide pelvis.
Biology isn’t binary. I would stop looking for labels and just be you.
This is the correct answer.
Biology isn’t binary.
correct
I would stop looking for labels
why, when a label can not only confirm to the person themselves all of the feelings and doubts they may have been having, but also finds them a supportive community of people like them they can relate to and share experiences with?
and just be you.
correct, but can only happen by knowing who you are first, aka finding the correct label/s for yourself.
💯 💯 💯 💯 💯
Finding a label and understanding yourself after a lifetime of confusion and self hatred for not being normal is immensely satisfying.
Sure, in an essentialism way we all transcend labels since an individual is so much more, but we live in a language based society. Having a label is the best way to communicate to another human “This is my experience”.
I would stop looking for labels and just be you.
I wish I could tattoo this on the retinas of every Gen Z kid so they’d be forced to see it literally all the time.
And I wish I could convey to people like you what an absolute privilege it is to not feel the need to label yourself because society already not only recognises and accepts you as the default, but caters to you as such.
Those of us not so lucky like to find our people, those who can understand us and what we’ve been through, those we can relate to who can relate to us, and act as the community society never was for us (your comment being a perfect demonstration of the massive blind spot so many people have to the struggles of marginalise people).
Check your privilege.
Do you really care about people who will only accept you if you only have a label? I think gen Z cares to much about finding “your people”. You know who your people are? People who accept you because you are you, not because you’re a X, Y, or Z.
Why would you give a damn about the opinion of someone who only accepts you because you label yourself as whatever? That’s a shitty person.
Edit: actually, thinking a bit more about this, that could be pretty lonely depending on your circumstances, because most people are absolute shitbags. So I can understand the appeal of being able to say “I IDENTIFY AS FKLDS;AME” and finding a ready-made community of FKLDS;AME to act as a societal support, since the cishet society you happen to be born into hates anyone who isn’t cishet.
Still far from ideal.
I think my privilege is not so much my own cishet identity but simply a geographic one: no one here gives a damn what you identify as, all are equally valid. You don’t need to find a new community of FKLDS;AME people or FKLDS;AME allies. Everyone is just groovy about whatever. Less pressure to label.
Checking
Edit: yep it’s still there
just not give your uninformed opinions
Someone forgot what community they’re in
No.
Get an X-ray and compare.
It seems pretty obvious just from the outside. It sticks out like one or two inches or so on either side right at the pelvic bone. Males I’ve seen always just have a straight line from armpit to waist.
Males I’ve seen always just have a straight line from armpit to waist.
I’m a man. No we don’t. And it’s silly to think we do.
I’m afraid to ask what sort of pseudo science macho nonsense you’ve been exposed to which could have gotten you to this point…
Some men have wide hips. Some women have skinny hips. People are extremely variable and that’s a great thing.
If you really care you can get genetic tested. But if it isn’t impacting your life, you may want to ask why bother.
How many men have you seen? Like in pictures probably looks different.
Is it likely? No. Is it possible? Yes.
It’s worth getting checked out at some point though, because some intersex conditions can impact fertility
1 or 2 in 1000 people are xxy
https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Klinefelter_syndrome
But even if you’re XY, hormones aren’t binary, you might just have a lot of estrogen, or it could be something that isn’t related at all to gender or hormones.
There’s a shit ton of human variation
Something to keep in mind when dumbass say “there is only two genders”.
This. There is a lot of variation in normal. We all don’t look exactly the same
I am pretty skinny, my pelvis protrudes in the way you describe but I wouldn’t considered this a sign of intersex
We humans are fortunately all shapes and sizes.
Human variation means you can be a male with a natural “male” wide pelvic bone. When determining the sex of human skeletons, they use a whole array of measurements besides just the width of the pelvis and still get it wrong sometimes. Unless you have other indications or feel you might be a different gender than you present as, you have nothing to worry about.
