Scotland was, oddly, the last country in the UK do get rid of blasphemy laws, so the generation before mine used phrases like -
Jings, crivvens and help ma Boab!
And
In the name o the wee man!
Accusing someone of having too much semen.
It was a thing.
John Adams accused Alexander Hamilton of having such an excess of semen that all the brothels in the city couldn’t help him.
You got too many swimmers bro, I can’t even
“Ketter” meaning heathen.
My grandfather used it resently: “I used to smoke like a heathen”.
A she bitch of a goat’s gizzard
You can get pretty good results by saying, “Well {verb} my {noun}!” It always ends up sounding quaint. It’s like the mad libs of incredulity
- Well kiss my grits!
- Well steam my hogs!
- Well string my banjo!
- Well iron my shirts!
- Well paint my deck!
- Well trash my patio!
- Well crash my harddrive!
- Well tear my pants!
You get this for “well trash my patio”.
“I’d challenge you to a battle of wits, but I see you’re unarmed.”
~ William Shakespeare, The Taming of the Shrew
“You want my children? Take them! I have the instrument to make more.”
~ Caterina Sforza when blackmailed by kidnappers using her children as leverage (main source: Niccolo Machiavelli)
“We fulfill the demands of nature in a much better way than do you Roman women; for we consort openly with the best men, whereas you let yourselves be debauched in secret by the vilest.”
~ Earliest recorded words of a Scot, third century AD (never change, Scotland).
When my late husband said, “why you syphilitic son of a bitch” I knew that he was really angry at someone and if he said “rats in a dishpan” then something just went haywire. He passed away 30 years ago now and I have never heard another person say those things.
I love it. I’ve been enjoying “MotherFather” as a soft landing out of habitually cursing when frustrated.
i think Steve Martin said MotherFather Chinese Dentist
…I have never heard another person say those things.
Haha, I can totally relate to someone making up expressions, then sticking with them. For example, a couple I made up for whatever reason, and still employ with a frequency:
- Oh, rabbits! (expression of surprise, sometimes used as a mild curse)
- Well, shut my mouth and spank my bottom! (surprised, Southern-style)
- Smooch my ruby, red rump! (tauntingly, Bender of Futurama-style)
Fiddlesticks is a known English term. It’s a mild oath like dang or darn.
“Oh rabbits” sounds like something Wallace and Gromit would say.
“Oh, Rabbits!” is actually an Australian curse much like Americans say, Oh, Rats. It comes from the Great Rabbit plague. Never heard of it?
I say “Jesus, Mary, and Joseph” as an exclamation to this day.
I’ve started saying “Oh Buddah” just to mix it up a bit
That reminds me, I once heard an irritated dad at a kids playground yell “cheese and rice”!
Same.
