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A man’s music collection should consist of classic rock, country and blues
Does this give anyone else boomer vibes? Also, I suspect this is trying to invoke the Progressive Rock of the 1970s (Kansas, Pink Floyd, Led Zeppelin, The Eagles, Supertramp, etc.) and not Buddy Holly, Frank Sinatra, Dean Martin or, you know, Elvis, The Beatles and the Rolling Stones
But then my man card expired in the early 1990s.
How? o_O
Got to renew it every six years
Man facts:
I listen to eurobeat and hard style
No one would blink an eye at a country rock cover of, “Gas gas gas”. Hell they’d prob think the original was the knockoff.
Its quite the norm in parts of Europe.
Had it been hard-core (from hell) i may have judged you but, even then, only as an xtc fiend.
For anyone curious, try dj mad dog : reset
Fair warning, it might be jarring on any mellow you might have going on. Eventually, when you’ve been raving long enough, you might find that, from time to time, you’ll need sounds from the bowels of hell at 200 bpm just to feel something.
Speedcore my beloved.
Need me some good ol high bpm music from time to time
THE official MAN CARD 😆
For the man who never fixes anything. It is criminal to not put some more tools on that card.
And it’s a bottle opener
Because nothing screams manly like alcoholism
TIL I’m actually manly
If you need a bottle opener to open a bottle you aren’t alcoholic
REAL MAN OPEN THEIR BOTTLE WITH THEIR TEETH
I usually just stick it in my ass and use my expertly trained clenched sphincter to open the bottle, like a real man.
So uh… the pair of channel locks I keep on my coffee table… Am I poor or an alcoholic?
For starters, you don’t own a very fancy coffee table.
Sorry I should have clarified. I refer to the trunk thats in front of my couch that has shit on and in it as a coffee table
And your couch?
A wild Vance appears
I only wipe my butt with sandpaper.
I let it crust over and sand it all off once a month.
Sissy people use that wimpy bidet but I use a pressure washer.
Being a man is when you conform your freedom of choice to one of a few acceptable choices.
Expressing yourself, showing who you really, standing up to peer pressure is for pussies, you wouldn’t want to risk people accidentally mistaking you with them sexually liberated folks by admitting you like electro-swing over country.
Let’s not forget that they probably don’t listen to much non-commercialized country and when they do the highly left-wing, union supporting, feelings having message probably goes right over their heads. I mean it has to, they’d necessarily throw a fit if they knew what they were listening to.
Real men use a bidet anyway.
And not because it’s objectively better than wipes. ;)
REAL MEN LICK THEY OWN ASS CLEAN
Well, some people say men are basically just dogs and I guess if some of us can lick our own assholes, that’s further proof.
Society if men could lick their own assholes:
Nothing productive would be done all day.
These dudes are so uptight about masculinity. They could really use a prostate massage.
So a real man let their choice dominated by another man?
Real men link up to the hive mind.
Don’t give away ideas like that while Neuralink lives
Get me an open source brain chip and I’m joining the hivemind in an instant
we disagree. it is a LIBRE brain chip.
And Bee a Manliest Manly Man and twerk at your enemy!
sticking out your gyat for the rizzlerrrrr
How do people even find such a shop
They’re the type of people who click on Facebook ads
The Bacon Bouquet
real men don’t clean themselves at all so that their musk is always noticed by everyone in the room they’re in
Real men are like a bison bull, hairy smelly and they roll around in dirt.
The sad thing is that only bison cows are into that.
rolling around in dirt would be an improvement, dirt is honestly fairly hygenic especially compared to enclosed sweaty skin where bacteria has a great time
Can’t wait for the new manscaping craze: Wallowing.
classic rock, country, and blues
Metal is for sissies, I guess.
sigh I’ll get the socks.
Great band.
Is this Babymetal? I feel like I’ve seen this image before but I can’t remember where.
Reverse image search says LADYBABY
I like metal.
I will have what he’s having in the picture
Or classical. The “rationalist” crowd is in literal shambles rn
Can’t stand any of these masculinity targeted products. Also don’t flush any product down the toilet other than toilet paper. Those wipes clog sewers.
Real MEN don’t touch their buttholes, they use a bidet. Check out now biMAN, equipped with a power hose so no grime gets left behind.
By Karcher
Dude, bidets and ass showers in combination with shaved butthole is a hygienic must for hairy folks.
Dingleberry cultivation is no involuntary hobby anyone should have.
Dingleberry farmer is now in my lexicon of insults
According to my proctologist, we Americans are cruel to our butts with over-use of toilet paper.
Never wipe but dab. Use a bidet. Start with a travel bidet, which is $5-$20, and you can fill them with warm water. Rinse liberally and dab, repeat until clean.
Don’t worry about manliness. Being nice to your hemorrhoids is the adult thing to do.
I saw MAN CARD in the thumbnail and legitimately thought it said MAN CHILD and didn’t even question it.
Which would be so much funnier. Wanna fuck with me? A certified MAN CHILD?
Is there anything more manly than washing clothes?
Washing the dishes with your manly muscles 😭🧽🫧
