Is this a midas touch kinda thing? The human body is 60% water 🤔
Something over 90%.
Why did he even bother to make the wine, he could just make everybody the perfect level of drunk without sobering up.
Maybe it was a consent thing?
Being confirmed means giving consent, at least that was the legal defence my pastor had.
He wasn’t that omnipotent, okay?
Only someone who is omniscient could know that.
Flying Squid is a god, confirmed.
It’s about time I got the recognition I deserve.
I see that, thank you. I do accept PayPal as a tithe.
All I have is Moo Deng coin.
There was a British superhero TV show called Misfits. One of the delinquents had the power to control milk, I.e. you drink milk and this guy could curdle it in your body and kill you.
Are we both thinking about 15% BAC murderin’ Jesus here?
No it is impossible for God to do that.
Water + Jesus = Wine
Wine + Jesus = Brandy
Brandy + Jesus = Twice-distilled Brandy? Cooking sherry? Idk
I choose to believe at this point, Jesus got so drunk he forgot to try it a third time.
Is this really the blood of Christ? Man that guy must have been wasted 24/7
bro do you got any snacks to go with this
You can have one tasteless cracker.
All I can offer is some fish and bread.
It’s all you can eat though, so there’s that
He’s 30 years old, still lived with his parents, and spent all day hanging out with his twelve dude bros in a time before XBox existed.
Of course he was fucking hammered all day.
It already exists. It’s called “Brandy.” Reading more than watching videos helps.
If he uses 100% of his power it turns all the way back to grapes.
Pretty much, and for anyone wondering if God could create a rock he couldn’t lift…
The answer is still yes, and he is then unable to lift the rock, but able to remove the limitation preventing him from lifting the rock at any time.
Kinda like how He let Himself be dead and then removed the limitation by rising again
Late one evening a boy and his father were accosted by a mugger. The traumatic moment unlocked some kind of latent power within the boy. Frantically he tried to intervene, skin touched skin, and the assailant’s blood turned to wine, fatal. But not before the cretin dealt a terminal blow to the father. And that night that boy became the hero we all know, Jesus Christ.
Probably, but he had to leave something for bored celibate monks to do. There are worse callings than to devote a lifetime to finding all manner of ways to fortify wines.
Jesus is said to be God, therefore he should be omnipotent and capable of literally anything we could comprehend as humans, or even more than that even.
Obviously it’s all bullshit but yeah.
so does that mean Jesus could change semen to wine if he was giving a handy since semen is mostly water?
follow up question, would there still be semen in the wine if all he’s changing is the water?
follow follow up question, how much money do you think one could make if they ejaculated wine instead of semen?
finally, do you think Jesus masturbates and ejaculates wine for a refreshing post-nut beverage?
Can the space man make port?
Making water into wine was not something all that special, it used to basically be a concentrate that you would then add to water to consume. Shoutout to the history of Rome podcast. So he could make more and more deluted wine with more water but it wouldn’t become more concentrated.
this sounds sketchy - distillation wasn’t invented until well after the Roman era. how?
https://santoriniwinetour.com/why-did-the-ancient-greeks-drink-watered-down-wine/
I guess not explicitly a concentrate but I was trying to allude the fact it was used in a similar way.
Which podcast is that? You piqued my interest, but there seem to be a lot of podcasts about the history of Rome.
“The history of Rome podcast” is literally the name.
I don’t think so, the premise is that water can be converted to wine. Water here does not mean the chemical composition (ie h2o) but rather as a concept. So once water is converted the whole of it is refered to as “wine”. If you were to separate it into components you can do so but they won’t be called wine. Then you can use jesus to convert the water component again and repeat the process.
Another caveat, water is more than just h2o ie, what we usually refer to as “water” can contain many things like minerals, salt and even bacteria etc, in fact i doubt you can get pure h2o easily.
Jesus was way cool
Everybody liked Jesus
Everybody wanted to hang out with him
Anything he wanted to do, he did
He turned water into wine
And if he wanted to
He could have turned wheat into marijuana
Or sugar into cocaine
Or vitamin pills into amphetaminesHe walked on the water
And swam on the land
He would tell these stories
And people would listen
He was really coolIf you were blind or lame
You just went to Jesus
And he would put his hands on you
And you would be healed
That’s so coolHe could’ve played guitar better than Hendrix
He could’ve told the future
He could’ve baked the most delicious cake in the world
He could’ve scored more goals than Wayne Gretzky
He could’ve danced better than Baryshnikov
Jesus could have been funnier than any comedian you can think of
Jesus was way cool
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He told people to eat his body and drink his blood
That’s so cool
Jesus was so cool
But then some people got jealous of how cool he was
So they killed him
But then he rose from the dead
He rose from the dead, danced around
Then went up to heaven
I mean, that’s so cool
Jesus was way coolNo wonder there are so many Christians
Jesus can spike a girl’s drink from across the room.
He gets that from his dad.
Wine was originally an acronym for “Wine Is Not an Emulator”, so I’d say it’s a possibility.
I have a chatGPT idea… edit: yea you can make it loop forever lol
What was your prompt?
I asked it to write out the Wine acronym but for each time wine is written out you would need to express the acronym inside the acronym.
