At this point I’m going to Ladbrokes and betting against everything Kotaku promotes. They are like Jim Cramer of the gaming industry.
It’s meant for whom, exactly?
Children probably
Most of my favourite movies from when I was a kid are still great movies for me as an adult.
I would bet my next paycheck this is not the case for any kid who grows up seeing this movie. A good kids movie should age with you.
Children deserve better movies than this soulless green-screened cash grab.
They also deserve better games than Minecraft IMO, but that’s a different conversation.
Minecraft is an amazing game
They also deserve better games than Minecraft IMO
One of the more pure-to-form sandbox games of the last generation? I’ll spot you all the shitty DLC and cosmetics have soured it considerably. But the baseline game is genuinely good. Same with classics like Fortnight.
They were quality products that got deluged with marketing gimmicks. But there are plenty of people running “Vanilla” Minecraft servers who are having a ton of fun.
I’m not disagreeing with you because I know terms like classic are entirely relative but holy shit referring to fortnight as a classic nearly triggered a mid-life crisis. Holy hell. Ow.
Fuck you, minecraft is excellent. You just don’t like it because it’s popular.
This movie is bullshit but minecraft is excellent.
my 7 year old blows me away consistently with her Minecraft builds. it’s a genuinely good way of getting kids in a creative space while knowing they aren’t in online cesspools like fortnite and Roblox.
Seeing the type of boring shit I was into as a kid, I would’ve loved Minecraft movie when I was <9. I didn’t appreciate movies like Shrek, lion king and Toy Story until a bit later. Albeit, I didn’t see anything beyond the trailer, so idk if I’m missing anything.
Biggest problem I have with a movie like this is them trying to make a movie out of an endless sandbox game. If a game has a definitive end, then sure it’s fine. Just look at the Fallout show and Sonic movie.
Imagine if for some reason The Powder Toy suddenly became a huge thing and they decided to make a movie out of it. Where do you go while not being lame? That’s how I feel about this upcoming film.
Sandboxes are literally grounds for infinite creativity. Just look at The Lego Movie. No, if there’s an issue with this movie it’s that they aren’t using the sandbox to its full potential, at least as far as our initial impressions can tell us. We have all seen every single one of the story beats shown in the trailer before in other movies.
Ender Dragon is not an end of some sort?
The problem with that is how they updated the end to add the end cities and other floating islands. If the end was just the dragon fight without the end cities like it used to be, I’d consider it more of a proper ending. Otherwise I’d consider it just like the warden or wither: a respawnable boss for a certain dimension. Though that’s just my opinion.
I really don’t see your point people have been playing minecraft in multiplayer, making stories for a very long time. There are TV shows dedicated to this on Korean TV. Kids love to watch those. There is every reason to make a movie.
And it might even bring up popularity in demographique that has never played understood the game
Go check out your local bookstore. There’s plenty of minecraft chapter books already. Movies are a natural next step. In fact, Jack Black read the first audiobook in the series. It’s pretty good.
all D&D movies ever will be bad ig
who tf is it for then
Its proof-of-concept. They’re trying to get a movie out that’s entirely tied to the brand, without spending a meaningful amount of money on scripting, art direction, location scouting, or talent. This is the future of AI Movies in a nutshell.
How do you location scout for a movie about a block world?
Same way they did it for the Mario live action movie 30 years ago, I imagine. Get Tim Burton on it and I’m sure he’ll give you some advice.
Green screen my dude
Didnt they already try that with Halo?
Children
are children still playing minecraft?
Yes.
I wouldn’t bring a kid anywhere near this brainrot garbage.
shareholders?
By this logic: “The Borderlands movie isn’t meant for you.”
Apparently it wasn’t. I don’t remember where I saw it, I think maybe a Kyle Bosman video, but Gearbox/Randy Pitchford basically said they made the movie to pull in people who hadn’t played the games.
I’ve said this before: Randy Pitchford isn’t very smart.
Randy Pitchford also says he isn’t smart, it’s just usually in more words and in a daily tweet
So, people who would have no interest in seeing the world of Borederlands adapted to a new medium?
“Hey guys, wanna buy my new Indiana Jones game? It’s meant for people who don’t like Indiana Jones, or games for that matter… What no? Why not”
(Note: The new Jones game actually looks good, it was just the first IP to come to mind)
These people do realize that the Mario movie had an entire segment dedicated to Mario Kart, which is like… the most popular Switch Game right? And the Sonic movies stayed true to the characters and had tons of little easter eggs for Sonic fans, even had some comic book tie-ins for the movie?
Just saying, when you cater to fans, fans will buy a product and show it to their friends and family saying “Oh hey, you know I’m a big fan of X. Well this is a good entry point for it if you wanna see what it’s like.”
Seriously I got a friend of mine who “Was too old for video games when Sonic came out” but had “Seen some fanart here and there he enjoyed” (I’m a furry, inter-generational friendships are kinda normal in that fanbase), but he saw the Sonic movie on my recommendation and it had him asking me for recommendations… Before I knew it he had purchased Sonic Adventure DX on Steam to learn more about Tails and Knuckles’ characters to get ready for the second movie, and Sonic Generations as well to get a quick run through of the hedgehog’s history in general.
This man is a Catholic dad who’s always busy with work, his kid, and his faith, but he found the time to love that Hedgehog, because they made a good movie that catered to fans. (Yes, Christians can be furries, the Christian Fur demographic is actually pretty big. Fun story, the fanart he’d been talking about was a comic about Tails becoming a Priest and later trying to help Sonic stave off Chili Dogs for Lent)
What I’m saying is, if you’re good to your fans, they’ll be good to you, and if people see a happy crowd they’ll want to join that happy crowd. Love makes the world go rounder than money does, and as a chubby chaser I do like round things… I forgot the point I was making as now I just have the Queen song “Fat-Bottomed Girls” stuck in my head.
The Mario movie had a Smash Bros scene too. They didn’t call it that and it was only Mario and DK but it was definitely themed as Smash Bros.
Yes actually
“The new X thing isn’t meant for YOU!111”
Is a common line the media pulls out when the product is failing or have poor reception. Don’t take responsibiliy for the company fucking up, that implies the company is capable of doing wrong. Just shame fans for liking a property and wanted to see it respected. Call them bigots and say the problem is the thing they like is bigoted!
It’s… absolute bullshit.
Sadly it works, people who aren’t well-informed think of the fans of X are just assholes and the new thing is good actually…
It also doesn’t work because the people who aren’t well informed weren’t fans of X, so they’re not seeing/playing the new X thing…
Meaning I guess the The New X thing wasn’t really for anybody… “Literally no one” is a strange demographic to market it to.
See: Skullgirls censoring their game in order to “appeal to a wider demographic”, outlets claiming Skullgirl fans who hate the changes are “secretly pedophiles”, aaaaand… Now the game has a dwindling player count, the Steam forums are reduced to asking when the game will be fixed, and the original creator who was not involved with the censorship has a defamation lawsuit going because a lot of people called him a diddler…
It also works the other way around, when something the big corporations DON’T want to be popular is, just slander it as bigoted
See Also: That time Cuphead fans shat on a game journalist for not being able to clear an overly easy tutorial, so the oulet he worked for tried to save his street cred by… claiming Cuphead was racist and a front for antisemitism… Which the Cuphead fanbase just kinda laughed at because it’s an asinine claim.
It really sucks because as somewhat of a social justice activist and a gamer, well… “Clowns to the right of me, Jokers to the left of me…”
Sidenote: Can we stop the trend of neutering female characters? Seriously bought a fucking Avengers comic the other day (I mostly read Sonic, but I’ll pick up the occasional Marvel from time to time if I think the story looks interst) and I didn’t realize till after I paid for it that the “Thor” on the cover was actually Captain Marvel… all I saw at first was “Blonde, Masculine Face, Masculine Build. I guess that’s a new Thor costume? I dunno, don’t keep up with it.”
Got to reading it in the car and realized “Oh shit, that’s actually Captain Marvel. Sorry about that Carol.”, this didn’t impede my enjoyment of the book mind you. I like Captain Marvel and Thor, so it’s all good…
Look she doesn’t need to pull a Power Girl and have tits the size of her head hanging out of her costume, but I feel like the de-sexualization of female characters has gone far beyond combatting the male gaze and is now reaching the “Dear God, can’t let people see her ankles!” stage, which is actually more sexist than keeping the ridiculous chain mail bikinis in the first place, as it implies that traits we consider feminine are inherently sinful and should be hidden from view.
I mean, I know the example I used was a comic, but this shit is happening in games too. I’m a woman and a gamer, games are my power fantasy, me being highly attractive is PART of my power fantasy. Stop making me not hot damn it!
Sorry it’s just… Kotaku’s complacent for creating the environment this happened in, and we’re talking about Kotaku so I felt like airing a grievance of mine.
It looks to be an acceptable movie in the same vein as minions to me. I really hope the plot won’t be as formulaic as it definitely is, because I’ll be compelled to watch it at some point.
I’m sure it’s going to be “we got isekai’d into a Minecraft world and now we need to defeat [antagonist] before they ruin everything!”
It’s such a shame because I feel like theres a lot of potential. There are so many faces of Minecraft and ways to play the game (even within the relatively narrow area of vanilla survival multiplayer). Perhaps a better plot would revolve around the friction between these different playstyles.
Yeah, it’s not like Minecraft itself is marketed to the hardcore gamer demographic. It’s essentially a kids’ movie. I suspect it might still suck at that though.
I feel like kids moves should be higher quality. Teach them about good films from a young age. One can’t keep giving them mindless content at a time were they are supposed to be developing their minds.
IMDb indicates that the screenplay was written by a pair of writers exclusively versed in the 6-10 age demographic, with touchups by rob mcelhenney. Directed by the couple behind napoleon dynamite. I expect morbius.
with touchups by rob mcelhenney.
But… why?
The fact that movies aren’t being wholesale investigated for money laundering is a travesty at this point.
I had a conversation with my sister about that recently.
The amount of shows and movies that have $100,000,000+ budgets is rising, yet more and more of them feature very limited sets, small casts of mostly mid range talent, and a dozen executive producers all putting up their own money (this is all especially prominent with big shows on streaming networks, cough Star Trek cough The Acolyte)
Here’s my comparison: a group of 10 investors come out and announce they’re spending a billion dollars to develop a new luxury car. They drum it up as being the next big thing. Then, when it comes out, it’s about as nice and luxurious as a base model Toyota Camry. Fine, but not “a billion dollars” fine. Immediately, everyone would be wondering where the hell that money went? There’s definitely a chance it was just squandered, but you have to wonder. When you have a group of private investors with executive power over the project, what goes on behind closed doors?
For all we know, they’re literally just passing massive checks in a circle to one another to say “yes, it says right here in our bank records that we spent a combined $100,000,000”, meanwhile only 25% actually goes into the production, and they pocket the rest. Then, when the flock of people have to come and check out the new megaproject, all they need to recoup is a few million more than they spent (far less than the perceived budget), and they can run for the hills.
Anywho, crackpot theory time over. But think about it, if my simple brain can think this stuff up, why can’t the hollywood bigwigs, who actually have the capital to make it happen?
For all we know, they’re literally just passing massive checks in a circle to one another to say “yes, it says right here in our bank records that we spent a combined $100,000,000”, meanwhile only 25% actually goes into the production, and they pocket the rest.
That would be illegal and easily discovered
But you could pay $10M to hire another company to do the sound mixing. They might spend $500k to do the work. You might also be the owner of that company, and the money ends up back in your pocket…And that’s not embezzlement or a kickback, because that’s what it’s called when poor people do it
It gets better, because all the money they “lost” on a movie they can also write off. Oops, we didn’t make any money this year because we put out 10 billion dollar movies and only made 10 million at the box office. Tax break please!
Are you guys surprised and angry that this generic movie for children isn’t for you, or am I missing some context here?
What does one have to do with the other? Snow white is also a story for children and yet adults can still be disappointed about the upcoming remake. Are you suggesting we can’t criticise content for kids? If yes then why?
Criticise whatever you want, but your post is just a screenshot of a headline presented without context so I’m not even sure why you’re upset
The idea that children don’t deserve good media is kind of wild to me.
A good movie for kids can be boring for adults sometimes.
There are plenty of “kids” movies and TV that are excellent for adults, too.
Listing a few:
- Bluey
- Most of Pixar
- Adventure Time (after Season 1)
- Star Wars Rebels/Clone Wars (again, after Season 1)
- Shrek
- Star Trek: Prodigy
This is not an exhaustive list, but you get the point.
Yes, I know that. And I knew it before, too…
I guess people hopped on the downvote train before they got to the word “sometimes” in my comment, lol
No, I disagree with the “sometimes”.
I don’t follow. You’re disagreeing with the possibility than an adult would find a good children’s movie to be boring? Lol
Yes.
Sure but it doesn’t have to be like that. Shrek is prime example that you can make a movie both groups enjoy
I didn’t say that it does, lol
I said in another comment that there’ll always be demand for lower quality kids’ media, and that’s okay. Adults don’t need to enjoy every piece of children’s media.
There’s always demand for heroin too. Demand doesn’t mean it’s good.
This is like comparing paintings to the Mona Lisa. Shrek is the crowning achievement of our civilization.
Agreed, Shrek is phenomenal but there’s a lot of great films proving adults and children can enjoy the same story even if for different reasons.
The Goonies
Princes Bride
Kubo And The Two Strings
Song of the Sea
The Breadwinner
That’s just from the top of my head. There’s plenty.
Sure (also I can’t think of any examples) - but than again the question becomes more complex and subjective: what is a good kids movie. But really often kids movie is used as an excuse for bad execution, art, storytelling, acting etc. - while I think kids deserve at least the same quality as adults maybe even better - since media has much more influence on children than on adults.
while I think kids deserve at least the same quality as adults maybe even better
When we start buying that kids’ media enough that it’ll bring in as much money as other demographics’ media, and we choose to buy it based on its artistic merit and quality, then we’ll see more of that change.
But I think there’s always going to be a demand for “kids’ stuff” that’s lower quality, and I think that’s okay. Adults don’t need to enjoy every piece of kids’ media that exists.
And I just disagree that kids stuff means that it should be lower quality. I think it’s just lazy. And while I understand why people are producing bad content - I don’t have to like it or applaud them for it.
The fact that capital-G Gamers are still hell-bent on the GamerGate-era war against Kotaku is deeply amusing to me.
Gaming journos bad, something something.
It really bugs me how every scandal co-ops the -gate from the Watergate scandal to try to give it more legitimacy.
The Hotel was the Watergate Hotel. There is no gate in Kotaku or Gamer. Just another fundamental ignorance of reality the media has come to.
Sorry but Kotaku has always been 100% garbage, either bad writing, way behind the news, or both at the same time.
Except if its labor related, they immediately remember how to write.
G*mers should have been bullied more.
I’ve been scrolling through the comments to see the reaction to this trailer and this is the only comment that made me legit cringe.
This is exactly what someone who works at or has friends that work at Kotaku would say.
Sir, this is a good Pastafarian server, pls censor that filth. The childrens eyes can’t handle the raw sewage that is the word g*mer.
Why can’t the movie be for everyone like the game is? Why make it purposefully empty and soulless so only small children with a short attention span can enjoy it? Take some notes from the Lego movie. It’s not that hard.
The mario movie was also good in my opinion. I enjoyed it and it did not feel like a cringefest at all (which I wish I could say about Minecraft’s trailer)
For one, it is definitely easier/cheaper/faster to make that instead of a good, enjoyable movie.
Do kids movies have to be stupid and vapid? This looks completely soulless.
Why even bother making good movies, when children also watch elsa getting spiderman pregnant?
Trust me that’s way better than what kids are watching nowadays on yt shorts. That content should seriously be investigated for permanent/temporary brain damage.
Who is out here downvoting in defense of yt shorts?
It seemed like it would be a cheesey movie with some dry humor and I was okay with it up until the girl character called Jack Black “a massive toolbag.” Thats not what I expect from a movie oriented to children, and that made me immediately drop any interest I had left. Then the rest of the trailer somehow got worse with the llama scene, whatever that was.
They should have made the movie animated in the same style as all their commercials, with the characters in a Minecraft style skin based on their real world appearance. Have them start and end in real life, whatever. But boy is this not going to be good.
This looks like the 90s Mario movie all over again. Or the Sonic movie – before they fixed Sonic. Like, even the Resident Evil and Tomb Raider movies are probably better than this and those movies were generally very inaccurate to their source material, and not well receieved.
Don’t remember who (and I’m not about to watch it again) but doesn’t someone also say “what the hell” at some point?
Yes they do.
I’ve been playing Minecraft off and on since the Beta. I usually play the “All the mods” packs when they launch.
I do not understand how people get so emotionally invested in an IP.
If it isn’t a good movie who cares? Just spend your time doing something else.
I’m not like, attending a protest rally or anything. I think it’s perfectly fine to spend literally 7 minutes of my day telling people that this movie is shit.
You “no one should ever express disagreement with anything” people need to chill.
Can’t speak for everyone, but the reason that I care when one of my favorite IPs has a terrible movie, is because the terrible movie ensures that a good one will never be made.
They did a great job with Fallout, and now they are making a second season.
Then there’s Borderlands.
I still haven’t seen it, but I already know that the Borderlands movie I would have loved will never exist.
And in some cases, the IP getting a shit movie or show can tell the game developers “well, time to drop the entire brand for 15 years”.
The Wing Commander and Dungeon Siege treatment.
It wouldn’t have surprised me if WOTC dropped D&D as a brand if Honor Among Thieves had flopped.
I wish they would have. They’ve treated d&d terribly.
the Borderlands movie I would have loved will never exist.
For me it’s Monster Hunter. I refuse to watch the one they made a few years ago. I wonder if there’s a supercut of only scenes that feature the monsters. Or anything involving the Charge Blade.
After reading the synopsis, why tf did they have to make it an isekai?
the terrible movie ensures that a good one will never be made.
Super Mario Bros got another movie.
But generally, video games don’t usually work as movies. So it isn’t that big of a loss, lol
I haven’t seen it, but it was apparently good enough to earn nearly $1.4 billion worldwide.
“Terrible” may be accurate in terms of plot, faithfulness, etc, but certainly not performance.
The new Mario movie was pretty good. There were a few times that I thought “this doesn’t belong here, and they just wanted to shove a reference in”, but overall, I think they did it justice.
Even Chris Pratt.
I was with you until Chris Pratt, the dub cast in general was bad except for Luigi, Bowser and maybe Toad.
Fair enough. I don’t think it was as bad as everyone made it out to be, but I get it.
Yeah, I enjoyed it. It wasn’t a great movie, but it was fun for a kids’ film, and I loved all the references and stuff.
Idk that first Silent Hill movie is actually pretty good imo.
I will rewatch a wasted Hoskins and Leguizamo riffing lines in the 90s mario bros forever. That movie is so terrifically bad its awesome.
"Hey, what should our Goombas, a big head with feet and no body, look like in this movie? "
“Obviously, they should have HUGE bodies and a tiny little head!”
Super Mario Bros got another movie.
Not all of us have another 30 years to wait for everyone to forget about the first disaster.
They generally don’t work as movies because no one ever follows the story that’s right in front of them. They always add some stupid artistic bullshit preference of their own which causes a huge disconnect from the source material.
Writing for games is usually different than writing for movies.
I believe this is why games tend to do well as TV series – more overlap there.
at least you have the excellent ‘tales from the borderlands’ to play. I like to replay that ‘movie’ every year.
Why do you need a Minecraft movie in your life though?
Personally, I don’t need the things I like to be cross format.
If it works as a movie, great.
If it is never made, no problem.
If it fails, meh.
Personally, I don’t have any interest in Minecraft or it’s movie.
But somebody might, and I hope they get the movie they want, not a name-recognition cash grab.
I don’t think anyone needs any movies in their life at all. People would like a minecraft movie in their lives because they like mine craft I presume.
Lol people don’t know how to build a personality that isn’t built out of stuff.
Just reiterating what others have said but… if you have an IP you like and want more of it in the future (regardless of medium!) then its success in any other medium will likely impact whether or not you get more.
Unfortunately, we live in a world where:
- Money matters more to most IP holders than the IP itself
- New IP is seen as risky
- Those in charge don’t have to take responsibility for their failures
If there is a commercial failure of an IP, there is a good chance that its failure will be seen as the IP generally failing or falling out of poluarity instead of the failure to best utilize the IP that likely occurred. As a result, priorities will often shift away from the IP to something else in all mediums (ex. ASOIAF/GOT). Unless the IP is absolutely gangbusters in all other mediums, it will suffer. Similarly, success will likely lead to more utilization of the IP in any medium.
It’s unlikely that the IP owner will sell or license the IP in the near future because at one point it was popular and new IP is hard to make. It would be better to hoard IP and maybe try again in a decade when they need a trick up their sleeve. Plus, another failure might damage the IP even more.
Admittedly, I’m not attached to any brands or IP in particular and so I’m not invested really. I just makes me a little sad when some IP I thought well of has this happen… or when the person who benefits from the IP turns out to be a person I’d rather not give money to. Occasionally I’ll ponder what might have been if things had gone differently and feel a little bad.
Good points, well put.
If there is a commercial failure of an IP, there is a good chance that its failure will be seen as the IP generally failing or falling out of poluarity instead of the failure to best utilize the IP that likely occurred.
For example, when EA released Tiberian Twilight and it was absolutely awful and didn’t sell, they said that people just didn’t want RTS games anymore and shelved the entire C&C franchise. That was fourteen years ago and we haven’t had a new C&C since then that wasn’t mobile shovelware.
This is just one of the many reasons why our current IP laws are comolete and utter garbage.
So? Bitch I grew up in the Uwe Boll era of video game adaptations. No movie based on a video game is for me.
I almost had a panic attack when I liked the Fallout show. Piss off.
But we got live action Mortal Kombat…oh
i would personally love a Portal movie going into all the lore, since there isn’t too much of that in the games. IDK, call it Portal 3? lol
But the movie looks bad. That’s why people are mad.
Why didn’t they just make it a fucking animated movie?
I’m probably in the minority here but the realistic style is the least of my issues with the movie. I’ve only played modded minecraft and shaders give it that weird realistic look too lol
You’re not in the minority, I just think they should’ve committed to the bit more? The blending of styles is the weird part. Minecraft is already low fidelity and increasing the detail has always worked in the past for these movies. It’s part of why wreck it Ralph, the Mario movie, and even the emoji movie all did pretty well.
I actually enjoyed seeing stuff like the piglins and nether all dressed up and fancy. I just think the people are presented as if the movie contains no animation and it doesn’t work. If they want to make it work, do the Sonic thing and blend the worlds by putting animated spaces in the real world.
That won’t put butts in seats in theaters to make up for the money being invested. Microsoft wants a new generation of kid money.
what’s Microsoft
In this style and humor please: https://youtu.be/TSsHG7p0jjU
wait what… what does the article say? who do they even mean by “you” in the first place? are they right? am i supposed to form an opinion based on the title? am i back on reddit???
I wouldn’t watch it even if the trailer was really good but…I’m gonna shit on it for looking awful, not being targeted towards adults. That opening green screen shot looks AWFUL. I said in another thread it reminds me of those old car commercial edits with the Mark guy. The perspectives of the camera vs the background don’t seem to fit
It completely looks like those fake College Humor or SNL trailers. You know, like this? https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=UiIRlg4Xr5w
All they would probably need to do is replace the main cast with digital game characters, or at least something that’s rendered so they at least blend in a lot better.
It almost seems like the Sonic movie thing, where they first released a trailer that was so awful they had to change Sonic to look much better. I’m still not sure if it was a very expensive marketing move or not.
Based on the quality of the rest of it, I’m leaning it’s not a marketing move lol
Showed this to my kids. Their reaction was:
Kid 1: bruh
Kid 2: Is that the guy from Peaches?
Did that too. Boy and girl, 13 and 11. My daughter said it was dumb. The son wouldn’t even finish watching the trailer. He said it’s cringe.
My kid loved it.
