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A seating chart for an “8 HOUR FLIGHT” with the text “PICK YOUR SEAT” at the top. The chart is composed of 10 numbered seats, each occupied by a different famous Republican politician or public figure, or the devil. Each number represents a seat, and each seat is either adjacent to or between one or two different individuals.
3 and I’m kicking the seat in front quite a lot. I reckon we’re going to spend the whole flight giggling.
Strangely, I have to say 5, because he seems like the only one there (including Satan) who’d stfu and leave me alone.
Your seat will be sticky though.
So how long you been flying? Okay. Good.
(flight attendant approaches with snack cart)
JD: Hi I’m running for vice president.
Flight Attendant: Cookies, chips, or nuts?
JD: Whatever makes sense.
Flight Attendant: (sigh)
9, right between Hulk Hogan and budget Sarah Palin
At least you might get a handy.
Just storm the cockpit and crash the plane. Good sacrifice.
Of course seat 3. That would be the only one capable of a really interesting conversation. Just don’t sign anything. 😉
And you can repeatedly kick the seat in front of you while doing it, earning points with your row buddy.
What makes you think Trump won’t be fully reclined from the moment he sits down?
Look! I jist got this fancy new pair of hands, and man can they fiddle! Theu didn’t even cost me anything…
Hey D are you responsible for these other pricks?
D: Sorry
Even the devil would be sheepish about these assholes.
I’d take 8, least objectionable aisle seat, I won’t have to get up as much to let them out to pee. Put on the headphones and close my eyes and pray for a mid air collision.
Agreed about 3, but you do have a chronic farter right behind you. seat 9 might get you the “beetlejuice handy” under a blanket
😂
but you do have a chronic farter right behind you
Plus Diaper Don right in front of you
Seat 9 with noise cancelling headphones and beetlejuice in-flight movie might not be so bad… Considering the options…
If you’re lucky, the Devil’s gonna smell like sulfur and your nose won’t be able to pick up on anything else
She is 100% just going to mash it.
9 has to be the most cursed seat on the plane. I guess I would take 7
Oh Jesus, what’s wrong with you. 7 I guess
7 so I can spend the whole flight telling the man how disappointing he turned out to be.
Hogan can tell you how he wrestled over 400 days in a single year.
I feel like sitting next to him would suck because he’s such a big guy
1
I get to kick trumps seat and put shit in his hair all flight long. I’m not worried about Nick id just kick his ass.
Pretty sure the top is the front.
- If I’m gonna get to tell people about this story, I’m not gonna settle for the 2nd best reason that your flight complaint doesn’t register on the scale I’ve dealt with. I’m going for the best. It can literally only go up from here.
And your in the aisle. He has to ask you to move to do anything!
4
Alex Jones is a piece of shit, but sitting next to him would be like listening to a long episode of Knowledge Fight. Also its an aisle seat.
But I imagine he’s probably really sweaty and hogs the arm rest and/or makes it greasy
Yes and you can probably hear him breathing heavily the whole time
10
Lindsey Graham is a piece of shit, but he’s an entertaining piece of shit. Not to mention, he’s like the yappy little Chihuahua that barks bloody murder at whoever the bigger dog he’s hiding behind doesn’t like – I’m pretty sure I could get him on side to shit-talk Thomas to his face for at least the last half of the flight.
The person sitting by number 3 would enjoy that.
9
As awful as they are I might as well get a good over the pants handy from bobert, something tells me she has snail I’m her though and will probably mash it, worth a shot
#4. At least you could get Alex talking about lizard people and stuff.
Time to invest in a glass knife I can get onto the plane.
I spent a significant portion of a train trip sick in the bathroom once and I think I’d just repeat that…
EDIT: You think I could manage to get a handy if I pick 9?
Safer to DIY