Not really me. A friend of mine is moving out of state. His neighbor has been a total dick the entire time he’s lived there. Constantly commenting on how my friend’s yard isn’t as good as his. Mean to my friend’s wife and kids for no reason. Just an asshole of a person.
What are some ideas for fun pranks my friend can leave behind?
Order some joke/fake lottery tickets. One of the ones where every ticket wins $30k. Drop one on his driveway before he heads to work in the AM for him to find. I’ve only done this to two people and they both fell hook, line, and sinker for it. One lady was calling her husband to come pick up the winning ticket to keep it safe.
Clean his room.
Thank you Dr. Jordan B. Peterson from Youtube
Well, I must say, it’s a fascinating and indeed humbling experience to assist you. You see, much like the lobster, whose neural circuitry has evolved over hundreds of millions of years to navigate its hierarchies, we too, as humans, have developed sophisticated mechanisms for social interaction. When I say “you’re welcome,” it’s not just a simple pleasantry, but a reflection of an evolutionary process that has shaped our very essence. Just as the lobster’s behavior is influenced by its serotonin levels, guiding it to either rise in dominance or retreat, our social exchanges are influenced by deeply embedded patterns that have evolved to promote cooperation and mutual benefit. So, in acknowledging your thanks, I’m also acknowledging the long and arduous journey of our species, from the primordial ocean depths where the lobster resides, to the complex social structures we inhabit today. It’s a testament to the intricate web of life and the evolutionary forces that have brought us to this moment of shared understanding.
That’s an interesting way to say burglary.
Spread dandelion seeds. You can buy them online and literally just toss them everywhere and he will never be rid of them. Or kudzu Vine that shit never goes away
Don’t intentionally spread invasive plants, local ecosystems have it hard enough as it is.
Can spread to other neighbors’ yards. I like the fertilizer idea because it doesn’t spread.
You can get them in pink and white too! As an extra fuck you over the normal yellow which can happen on their own.
Make seed bombs of pink dandelions and launch them before a storm.
Side note; I want pink dandelions but I’m sure my neighbors would hate me… but I also have an asshole neighbor and I’ve totally thought about seeding his property with them and letting them spread to mine…. I won’t do it, because cameras, but I want to so much.
Let Scientology and the Jehovah’s witnesses know he’s interested in knowing more. Do the same with military recruiters.
Sign him up to receive junk mail from sex toy stores. Use his name and his neighbors’ addresses. Maybe try to get travel brochures sent to him for countries known for sex tourism.
I get junk mail addressed to a Pablo Picasso at my address periodically.
That never happened to… Pablo Picasso!
Stop being a dick to your neighbors
I keep to myself, so I have no idea what I could’ve done to piss them off. I also get periodic mail for the previous homeowner, despite me living here for almost 7 years.
If you are very evil, sign him up to recieve questional stuff, but use your other neighbor’s adresses. Ideally not something that will be repeatedly spammed at them.
Nah, that only works in super close-knit, small town communities.
I don’t know any of my neighbor’s last names and I’ve lived here for 12 years. I’m in a semi-small town. I know my direct neighbors first names, and that’s about it, because anything more is unnecessary.
If I got something sent to a random name at my address, I’d treat it the same way as junk mail addressed to me; recycled without a second thought. I still get stuff for 3 other former residents, including pension stuff, despite being here over a decade so…
In the middle of the night, take a bunch of nitrogen fertilizer and lay out a “Fuck You!” message on his lawn. Water it into the ground.
The message won’t appear for months until after you move away.
Draw a big dick in the lawn
With salt for a delayed and long lasting effect
How does it’s science work? Can you elaborate.
Magnets
Just makes grass grow greener and faster where the fertilizer has been placed. Put too much down and it will “burn” the grass and kill it.
Hahahahah, gold
I heard of this funny trick where you put a bag of ice over the pilot light of his boiler. The boiler will put out gas until the ice melts and the pilot light comes back on.
And let’s justr say, that’s when the prank really ‘pops’ off
Can the ice be a piss disk?
Anything that can freeze will work. But go for more of a cube or sphere shape so it stays frozen for longer, it pranks them harder in the end
I too, was coming here to say “burn down his house”
No at all, this is just a tee her little prank
Don’t. We’re all stuck on this little ball of rock together, and making each other miserable just makes life worse for everyone.
If only his neighbor had followed that
Make his house the most famous house in the state:
I don’t know what kind of neighborhood it is but sprinkling cat food or something like that everywhere would probably attract something. Your friend could even do it to his own yard. I’d be weirded out if my neighbor moved and suddenly his yard had 25 raccoons in it.
You want to ruin someone’s life? Plant some fucking greenbriar on the property. Genus Smilax. Thorny vines that grow from rhizome-like tubers in the ground. Grows a little slower than kudzu but I’d rather be around kudzu. Harder to eradicate than white supremacy. Once it’s got it’s little tumors in your soil, it’s over forever. It’ll sent shoots out just under the grass to spread out like strawberries. If you get both genders of the plant in one place, the females will grow berries that the birds eat and then they’ll shit the seeds everywhere, the complicit little fuckpukes. If you don’t dig up ALL the plant, it’ll just grow back harder. I’ve seen them strangle a dogwood tree to death. They’ll grow 40 feet high if they’ve got something to climb. There is no commercial, medical or craft use for them. The leaves have a waxy coating that protects them from herbicide. I haven’t tried fire yet but it probably won’t work.
Sign up for a bunch of free magazine subscriptions, like Wisconsin cheese, harbor freight, etc and put his address on it. He’ll be inundated with junk mail.
If your, erm, “friend” is planning to but has not sold
yourhis house, then this is an even more terrible idea that asks for trouble.What, you think I don’t have any friends? Sigh. You are mostly correct. But I have this one.
He’s been renting for years. He’s definitely moving. All clear.
I didn’t mean to imply you have no friends, so sorry if you got that impression
Move his house 2 inches to the left, so when he tries to unlock his front door, he misses the keyhole.
You cheeky fucker.
It’s a Pete and Pete reference. Helps if you’re old.
Oh man, that’s too new for me, and I’m not even THAT old (just mildly old)
Damn that made me realize how much I miss that show.
Roundup a big dick into the grass. Won’t show up for a week.
Nah, hot day? It’ll show up same day.
Why be petty and justify the neighbor… just move and never think of them again.
BOOOOO
Nice try, neighbor
The best revenge is living well.
I hate that saying. Living well is better than wasting time with revenge. But living well is not revenge.
So we need some form of sentient water hole to attack him?
