Print photos of different couches and mail them to any or all of these locations:
https://www.vance.senate.gov/office-locations/
Don’t forget to add little love notes. e.g., “Thinking of you 💋”
Damn, he’s the real world version of The Deep.
Is this one real?
If yes, would it make him more relatable or even more disgusting?
And would you be surprised if it were real?
No
Ah, the elusive inclusive no.
I don’t use twitter so can’t verify, but here is the apparent post people are making fun of him over. The claim is that the words “woman” and “dolphin” being bolded are signs that he searched for those terms.
Hmmmmm. That’s uh… Sure I’ll take it.
What are the odds Trump chose Vance because his initials are Trump’s backwards?
I’m pretty sure it’s so he can play it off when he says Pence instead of Vance
But his initials aren’t trumps backwards…?
DJ vs JD. Just first and middle, no last.
Letters are hard.
Is he sabotaging Trump on purpose? Is JD Vance running the best psy-op in human history?
Almost certainly not, but the conjecture fits the data shockingly well.
Going Deeper
I heard that he allegedly ran the website dolphinsex.org for a short while.
I thought you said JD was dead? No, I said he sleeps with the fishes
He did it on porpoise.
What happens behind closed doors between a man, a dolphin, a couch, several firearms, and a copy of Mein Kampf is personal and private.
Gay people? Oh no, that’s not a thing. Maybe if men had the smooth, supple feel of Corinthian leather, I would understand.
Hi! I’m Troy Mclure. Wow, this one really takes me back.
Checkmate!
Put it by the deli counter for the trifecta.
Being tricked into downloading 6 gigs of dolphin porn still remains one of my favorite 4chan pranks.
cOuCh fUcKeR
Shady Vance just keeps getting shadier.
Dolphins? Couches? Potato salad? Does this guy just go around sticking his dick in stuff?
I read his book. It read about like he just shoved his dick in a typewriter and flopped it around for a few hundred pages.
Back in my day, that would have been impossible without some kind of penile injury as you probably would have needed to slam that thang pretty good on every key. People now-a-days are spoiled because their keyboards are so sensitive. You could even sneeze and type something from a microphone type writer.
I saw that there reports he didn’t fuck a couch, then someone shared an interview where he said he did… Did Republicans even try to dig shit on this guy!!!
He didn’t fuck the couch, to completion
Of course the couch didn’t cum, it’s a fucking couch. What’s wrong with you people?!
I hate to be the one to tell you this, but maybe it’s just you who can’t bring the couch to completion…?
Waaaaaait there’s video of this? Also, what’s all this about potato salad‽
Found out it was faked after but still have the searching dolphin porn to lean on xD
Where’s that interview??
They had to retract that report, because they could not verify that he’s not a sectional predator.
He’s a disgusting pillowphile!
“If this gonna be that kinda party, imma stick my dick in the mashed potatoes”
Those potatoes weren’t mashed when someone put them on the table.
B boys makin wit da freak freak
sample was originally from Sanford and son?
Okay what’s the potato salad thing?
He’s just an ambulatory version of the “Instructions Unclear” meme.
Well he does give off The Deep vibes
More like he gives off Tek-knight vibes.
He’ll fuck anything with a hole, like a couch.