Idk, he looks like a perfectly attractive man, in my opinion.

My man, you gotta know that word was banned by the Social Decency Act of 2407.

I’ll be real straight with you, Chief, I already shit my pants for the thrill of it before making these comments.

I have so many questions, but I’m pretty sure I don’t want the answers.

Okay wow, I can’t believe he actually used the Y word, and I will shit my pants if mods do not immediately ban you for a thousand years.

Man, I am so sorry this is your situation. I won’t pretend to really know what advice to give you, other than you should contact adult protective services and see if they can do anything since you are a vulnerable person (aka disabled).

Again, I don’t know shit from fuck, but that’s where I would start. Idk if the cops would take the threat seriously or not, but you might be able to file a restraining order.

It’s a turdoggy lmao

Yo’ mama is so fat that everyone is starting to become very concerned, because we all love you very much and it hurts to see you do this to yourself. I know you’re in pain, but dad is gone and you cannot destroy yourself in your desperate attempt to fill the void. Please let us help you, I know it’s hard, but we need you mom, we all need you more than ever."

NEXT WEEK ON “CAPITALIZING ON REAL TRAUMA FOR CASUAL ENTERTAINMENT!”

Idk guys, I’m pretty stoned.

Well I already have the crocs, you see…

Mainly so I don’t have to put real shoes on to take out the trash tbh.

Like that here too. I hate feeling like I just stepped out of a shower any time I walk out my front door.

Sick can be used either to refer to something unfortunate (as in ill), or to refer to something really awesome. It’s just casual American slang.

Idk, I was assured that pigs had a Chinny-chin-chin.

Dude, try not to pull something stretching that hard.

I have 8 playlist I’ve been cultivating for like 6 years now, and it’s kind of hard to walk away from that. And I’ll fuck the dirt before I go back and re-make them lol.

Background noise. Also, I can’t do the cool shit that they do.

Yeah, I thought it said “sock” as well!

Eh, idk. I’ve been enjoying absurdist and surrealist comedy for years, this doesn’t seem that out there. I’ve seen mad magazine comics more out-there than this.

I’ll say that I don’t usually wear shoes in the house, but it’s also a lost cause since I have two big dogs.

Same, this reads as a rapid sequence of events lol.