Finally found the man I thought I would marry, but the breakup came out of nowhere and I’m struggling to cope. What are the ways you’ve dealt with heartbreak in the past?
Go gym
Alcohol, food and isolate from everyone. Plus never trusting anyone.
Ah yes. The toxic response. Don’t do this, OP. Maybe for a little while, but not permanently.
OP asked how others deal with it.
Self care, whatever that looks like for you.
It could be treating yourself to a new outfit, spending quality time with a good friend, or more traditional ideas of self care, like healthy meals, exercise, and meditation.
Looking through the stages of grief can be helpful too. Give yourself permission to mourn. And permission to pendulate and use healthy distractions if the feelings get intense.
These are the strategies that work best for me. I also have less healthy coping mechanisms and if that’s your goto, harm reduction can be helpful (weed is less destructive than alcohol for me, for example).
Old me: bottle of whisky, pint of ice cream, a lot like love/Fools rush in New me: bike/motorcycle ride, cuddly a bunny, hard cry
Everybody deals differently with heartbreaks. But I think what’s most important is to take care of yourself and don’t let your mind rot in thoughts and sadness. Of course first few days are gonna be though, express your feelings by writing them down, or by songs, art etc but as I said don’t hold on to it for too long
Ugh, heartache is literally painful. I’m sorry you are going through that.
For me, getting iver someone has been a multi-pronged approach.
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Accept that I’m going to feel grief for a while…at least a few months. That’s okay and normal. Don’t fight it, don’t get mad at it. Just notice it and ride it out. Your brain has to severe the neural networks that were dedicated to him, while rebuilding new ones. This is a process that takes a while.
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Start connecting with friends that are healthy. They can be a nice source of validation, connection, and support.
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Work on a new project to have a focus. This can help in those moments where I’m sitting around ruminating with nothing to do or no desire to do anything. Even if I’m ruminating while doing the project, at least I’ll something to show for it when it’s over.
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Start a new hobby to define myself apart from the relationship. I’m going to be a new person.
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When ready, start throwing out all of their stuff. I even get rid of gifts. If it reminds me of then when I look at it, it’s gone.
Things will get easier as you stop thinking about them slowly over the next dew weeks to months. Eventually, they become someone that you used to know with no real meaning other than the lessons you learned from that experience.
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I played a lot of halo, smoked a lot of weed, lost a tonne of weight.
tbh wasn’t really healthy. the best remedy is getting yourself out there. it’s okay to be sad and reclusive for a bit but dont make it permanent
It sucks big time for a while, there’s no set time for how long. What I can tell you is once some of that fog has cleared and you can focus on yourself, you can learn to fall in love with yourself again. At least for me, I realized I had my positive emotions tied so much into my old relationship that I didn’t know how to cope without that relationship there. We definitely had some co-depency issues that were extremely unhealthy, and without all that to distract me, I could finally start working on myself and figuring out who I am. What I want and don’t want. It’s a long road but if you can focus on self care and improvement, it will make things much easier and more fulfilling in the long run.
Listen to sad music, focus on hating myself for failure, self harm, drugs and booze.
Lemon Italian Ice helps me feel better when I’m upset about something
Allow yourself to feel and process your emotions. Take care of yourself. Eat well and stay hydrated, do whatever exercise and focus on yourself and your goals. Perhaps travel. Live for you and you will find someone else without looking.
Went on a hike and just sat and looked over a lake for some time. I then realized I was extremely happy that I got to know her, but also that she told what she felt. I also think I got proud of myself, I never thought I would meet some one at all but now I knew it was possible
I use the Cave Johnson defense.
Are you suggesting that OP should burn their ex’s house down? With the lemons? That OP should have their engineers invent a combustible lemon that burns their ex’s house down?
I do have access to like 50 engineers, at least one of them would volunteer.
Time is unfortunately the best medicine. Just take it one day at a time. Don’t stay in contact with them. Reach out to your friends and try to fill your time spending time with them.
Main thing is to keep yourself distracted. The ruminating will come, but right now you need to heal. I wasn’t able to clearly reflect on my ex and our relationship for easily over a year or so later.
Booze and hookers
