cross-posted from: https://hexbear.net/post/2757154
tag thyself
just hanging out in Kḧzk, exporting my precious ores
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dont show this to george rr martin lol
oh, and im zhzhzh
I’m just hanging out in Townburg greeting adventurers.
It’s a trap! This is just a fantasized map of Brazil! Run for your lives before OP drags us all to Rio!
Then you better have some damn powerful magic otherwise your ice castle will soon become a puddle.
I live in a humble fishing village overlooking Eisfjörd, in the vast cold reaches of Skändivikingä
Loth-plagiarien
Lmao! This map is unreasonably funny.
Pseudi Arabia
There’s a lot of great stuff here, but for some reason the thing that completely broke me is having “Desert Island”, a small isle with nothing but sand and a single palm tree, in the middle of lush, green islands.
I’m sure that, if a river was drawn into this map, it would be a ten-headed abomination originating from nothing, going uphill through the mountains, and connecting one side of the ocean to the other.
(Also “Nopon” being an almost 1:1 transposition of Japan, but “Retro Tokyo” is in the wrong place lmao)
Don’t Japanese speakers call Japan something closer to Nippon? So it’s even closer than that.
Also, as a LOTR weirdo, the thing that made me laugh was how the mountain range around Orienta is exactly the same as the mountains around Mordor right down to the location of the gates, just rotated slightly. And then right to the left there is Land of Evil-Doom, where the mountains SHOULD HAVE BEEN
The Desert Island is where all the shipwrecked sailors get washed up. This is the result of all ocean currents in the Tepid and Warm seas eventually converging there. If you miss the exit you go right past into the Giant Whirlpool of Hydrodynamic Implausibly.
Exporting chainmail bikinis to the underdressed warrior women
As the son of a deceased blacksmith from Quainthamlet, a small settlement near Townsburg, I have taken my amateur hand-crafted sword and am on the way to Camenot to find my destiny; most likely reaching my limits many times and overcoming them (just) with the help of my trusty companions and the burning hope and power of friendship that lies within me.
Or I’ll just die, because my sword is crap and I’m a noob.
I be the Boris Johnsons in the corners blowing wind
I live in the Doom Mines. I mine doom.
Honestly, it’s not good for much and the economy has been trash lately, the mine has been flooding and wheat doesn’t grow well here. I don’t really see it getting much better any time soon.
God this feels EXACTLY like Azeroth from World of Warcraft. But hey the dragons have some isles and eggs so I’m down for that, love me some dragons that are actually doing well in a setting
There’s no way the Ice castle of the necrolord and the mountains of muscle aren’t a Fire &Ice reference
Probably, although Martin was definitely not the first fantasy author to put a villainous faction/entity in the inhospitable frozen north, nor was he the first to have a villain with a zombie army.
Although I think the Mountains of Muscles are more likely just a border feature slapped in between the Necrolord and the ambiguous barbarians of the northern steppes, which are again a common trope but probably directly drawn from the barbarian tribes of Icewind Dale (Wulfgar’s people in Forgotten Realms).
I believe op is referring to Bakshi’s Fire and Ice, not martin’s books. The rest of your point still stands though.
Or Warcraft.
I’m either a cleric from the Abbey of St Whatever passing through Heroshire in my way to hunt monsters in Vampsylvania, or a spellcasting hermit of dubious sanity living in the Witchy Wood.
Hold up in my room at the pub in Boozy Bay sweating out the Elvish drugs and Orc rum, living my own Heart of Darkness.
I am but a humble traveling troubadour of Lower Noblesse. Or that is what I would have you believe. In truth, I am an information broker and spy for Steel Anne, the infamous forest bandit, and her band of Jolly Fellows from the Robbin Woods.
