What if I want to gain two inches?
Then you can call me. I’ll give you two inches.
just have one funnel cake… eating contest.
That sounds like you need to go visit Procrustes and his wonderful bed that fits everyone — eventually.
What if I don’t have to inches?
If you want a couple extra inches in you I believe I can be of service.
🍪🍪🍪🍪
How do the cookies help me with my Phallic Expansion Endeavors (PEE)?
Your endeavours are stored in the balls.
Hmm. How much? I’ve got a few extra lying around.
neat, douglas hofstader is in town
incredible book.
Losing 2in is 30mins is basically water weight. Lose an extra .5in by pooing
/jk bc it doesn’t exactly work like that
I know that you cannot rely on peeing/pooping harder for weight loss but how is “in” a unit of weight?
I meant inches around your torso
That’s a really weird way to measure one’s fitness. Still, exhaling takes less than 3 seconds! /s
A better way to measure your fitness is to drink copiously and see how long it takes you to recover
/s
average day in LA
Too bad Nikolai Gogol isn’t around to see this
2 inches of what? If it’s hair, I’m disappointed but still amused at this way to advertise a regular hairdresser service