I’m 24 and dealing with high blood pressure. I’ve seen five doctors, had countless tests, and they all say the same thing: “Take these pills and try to reduce pressure in your life.” It’s as though my blood pressure and heart rate have minds of their own, fluctuating freely without any reason.

For the past six months, I’ve felt like I’m on borrowed time. Every morning, I gulp down my pills, hoping I won’t have a stroke or end up disabled. Once, I dared to think I was better and skipped my meds for two days. Unfortunately, on day three, my blood pressure shot up over 150, bringing me crashing back to reality.

I’m not an nihilist, I’m the opposite of that. But facing my own mortality every second of life has hit me hard. Maybe I’m just like a “24 years old kid” tasting life’s bitterness for the first time. I hate to compare myself with others, but seeing friends partying, doing drugs, and sipping coffee just makes me hate this fate of mine even more.

I’m an artist, I studied music and wrote lots of songs (only keep them for myself, not trying to be a celebrity or anything like that…), and music has always been my escape. Lately, though, my songs have been pretty dark.

I’m sharing my story not for sympathy, but to connect with anyone else who’s going through a same journey in their life. If you’ve been there and made it out, please tell me how you did it. Any advice, hobby, or habit would help! And if you’re still stuck in the trenches like me, just know you’re not alone.

P/S: This post has been improved by ChatGPT since I’m not confident in my English.

  • Call me Lenny/Leni@lemm.ee
    link
    fedilink
    English
    arrow-up
    0
    ·
    3 months ago

    We’re all humans. In some way, shape, or form, we all feel helpless about one thing or another to an extent. People are poorly built for independence, especially if talking about in the form of single person homes, nuclear families, and jobs that involve a routine that’s set in stone. There is no such thing as complete soundness of mind, and parenting without the co-parenting help of the village is a huge balancing act. We are also often caught off-guard by the sheer complexity of some of the matters we face as well as those others face, with many moving parts we can piece together while others are perpetually in our blind spots. All those people you mention who go partying and drinking, although they may argue they’re living to the fullest in our crude world, take their perception of how experience works for granted. I’ve seen people whom everyone looks at with awe as the person soars to new heights before they are hit with a chronic medical condition, the one thing money can never protect you from. I myself have been reminded of my own unchangeable limits, having just the right set of circumstances that take my friends and family away from me, being pressured into resuming a past relative’s residence which moved me away from friends by a few hundred miles and invoked jealousy in my remaining family members. The truth will always be that humans will find it more ideal to be unconditionally generous and interdependent onto each other, without the cue of any system of thinking, which will be especially true as the complexity of existence increases and our intelligence grows which will cause more mental disorder to arise. I might have anhedonia, the medical community’s name for what comes off to them as a lack of motivational feelings towards the world, but I still can feel when the world lacks what it suffers without.

    • Maeve@kbin.social
      link
      fedilink
      arrow-up
      0
      ·
      3 months ago

      The truth will always be that humans will find it more ideal to be unconditionally generous and interdependent onto each other, without the cue of any system of thinking, which will be especially true as the complexity of existence increases and our intelligence grows which will cause more mental disorder to arise. I might have anhedonia, the medical community’s name for what comes off to them as a lack of motivational feelings towards the world, but I still can feel when the world lacks what it suffers without.

      Social expectations, imposed on us by governments, mostly, are designed to break us down. So they label anyone who sees past it, with it without happiness, as having a mental disorder. I neither want nor need an antidepressant to “fix” me. In fact, I’ve managed to become generally ok and usually happy. What I want is for everyone to work together to fix this ghastly “system” designed to make us crazy. Thoreau caught on too, and they used to make Walden required reading, but that didn’t serve the system. Do they still teach it, beyond university liberal arts?

      • Call me Lenny/Leni@lemm.ee
        link
        fedilink
        English
        arrow-up
        0
        ·
        3 months ago

        Yes, or it at least is in my school. It’s too easy to see one’s thoughts in books (Of Mice and Men comes to mind here too, being on the opposite end of the scale, me being in the middle), so any underlying messages perceived by others went over my head, but if everyone’s word is went by, to put it briefly, Thoreau could use a sense of sonder.

  • MrJameGumb@lemmy.world
    link
    fedilink
    arrow-up
    0
    ·
    3 months ago

    I am also an artist and musician who suffers from high blood pressure! I don’t know your whole medical history so I can only tell you what works best for me.

    The biggest two things I’ve done to keep it under control are quit drinking and change my diet. It’s helped me lose a lot of weight and lowered my blood pressure significantly! I’ve always played my guitar when I’m feeling stressed and that helps a lot but lately I’ve also taken up cross stitch which has been IMMENSELY helpful to me! It’s relaxing but it also requires quite a bit of focus so I can get out of my own head and calm down. The other thing I do that’s even more helpful is just going out walking! I started out just walking around the block but now I go 4 or 5 miles with no trouble lol!

    I do take a very low dose of blood pressure medication, but my doctor has told me if I lose about 15 more pounds I won’t have to keep taking it anymore!

    I hope this was helpful!

    • Khiêm Từ@lemmy.worldOP
      link
      fedilink
      English
      arrow-up
      0
      ·
      3 months ago

      Being an artist with a sensitive mind might make me prone to overthinking, which in turn can raise my stress levels. Your story really resonated with me, so thank you for sharing it!

  • VaultBoyNewVegas@lemmy.world
    link
    fedilink
    arrow-up
    0
    ·
    3 months ago

    Now I’ve had a flare up of ulcerative colitis for most of the year and I was in hospital about a month ago and discharged after 6 days which was a month ago. I’m now back in hospital because my disease didn’t improve at home and now it looked like I was responding to the treatment in hospital but things are going they way they went after I was discharged so fuck knows what they’ll do. I’ve a specialist nurse in charge of my general care and a consultant who calls the shots on the treatment. The nurse wants me on a medication that’s taken as an IV ASAP and the consultant wants me to take the previous prescribed medication that hasn’t worked despite working in 48 hours according to the manufacturer. So as the current treatment probably won’t work I fucking hope that the consultant don’t just decide “eh fuck it, let’s just open up his bowel and give the fucker a stoma bag”

    I’m not in the US by the way I’m the UK and the NHS where I live is actually pretty good and the staff in general is great I’m the hospital I’m in and my nurse is great. I just don’t really like my consultant as any time he’s seen me in hospital it’s only for a minute asking how I’ve been and then he fucks off. It’s like he’s not interested in really finding out things in depth whereas the nurse and I will discuss things and she’ll explain why certain foods are harmful for me during a flare and how to work around that and she’ll explain the medication I’m on.

    • Maeve@kbin.social
      link
      fedilink
      arrow-up
      0
      ·
      3 months ago

      Yuck. I’ve had gastric issues for so long. I wish you a speedy and full recovery.

      • VaultBoyNewVegas@lemmy.world
        link
        fedilink
        arrow-up
        0
        ·
        3 months ago

        I wish I just had gastric issues. IBD is basically inflammation of the bowel that’s caused by the immune system being in overdrive so basically the immune system is attacking the bowel. So it causes frequent need for the toilet in my case between 10 times to 20 times a day, I’ve had a temporary form of arthritis that caused swelling on my feet, I regularly suffer anemia and all the symptoms with that, I’ve lost weight, I was a UK large in clothes and now they’re baggy as fuck on me so I could be a small now, I end up with no appetite so I end up going days without eating or only eating a sandwich, I regularly haven’t slept for a months because I have to get up every hour for the toilet and with IBD when you need to go you need to go no, there’s no such thing as holding it. It’s also a chronic illness/disease so I’ll have to live with it the rest of my life.

  • Thrillhouse@lemmy.world
    link
    fedilink
    arrow-up
    0
    ·
    3 months ago

    You just gotta try to hang on. Life as you get older is a total question of wtf is going to happen next.

    I’m in one of those cycles.

    1. Covid
    2. Walked in on my dad almost dead from undiagnosed cancer and my childhood home trashed because everything fell apart when he was looking after my mom who has early onset dementia
    3. 2 weeks later my dad dies & I am visiting the hospital during the height of Covid. My mom has to live in the hospital and doesn’t know who I am anymore. She doesn’t know her husband died.
    4. Cancer scare. I think it will be fine? They’re still testing.
    5. Husband lost his job. I am the only breadwinner.
    6. Sister in abusive relationship with a severely mentally unstable husband who is spending all of their money. I fear every day he is going to kill her and their kids. She can’t kick him out of the house because he is on disability and can’t afford his own place.
    7. Substantial changes at my job leading to feelings of mega insecurity for me.

    Oh yeah and my mom isn’t even dead yet!

    But I’ve also had some really great experiences during this time that I wouldn’t trade for the world.

    If psychedelics are safe for you and you have no history of mental illness in your family I would strongly suggest that.

    • Khiêm Từ@lemmy.worldOP
      link
      fedilink
      English
      arrow-up
      0
      ·
      3 months ago

      You’re 100000 times stronger than most people I know, including myself. I’m so sorry for all you’ve had to endure. It’s strange how hearing about others’ struggles can sometimes make us feel better, but it truly does.

    • Maeve@kbin.social
      link
      fedilink
      arrow-up
      0
      ·
      3 months ago

      Jesus! Please accept my virtual hug? I’m really proud of you, how strong you are to be going through all that and have such a healthy outlook. I’m so glad you shared, setting an example for all of us, myself included.

      Wrt sister’s husband… That’s not her problem. But if she’s concerned fur everyone involved, maybe subsidized housing is a possibility? Maybe with minor children, she’s able to get free or low-cost legal counseling? I know you didn’t ask for my advice, I’m sorry if I was out of bounds. Thank you again for showing us the power of grace, gratitude and humility. You knock it out of the park.

      • Thrillhouse@lemmy.world
        link
        fedilink
        arrow-up
        0
        ·
        3 months ago

        Everyone has their stuff and their time to go through it.

        Looking at what others are enduring too helps for inspiration and strength - frig someone I know has a parent dying of ALS and doesn’t even show it in their day to day. That’s a rough situation, they’re in their early 30s like me and they’re handing it with so much grace.

        Someone else I know, late 20s, just severely injured themselves in a foreign country to the point where they are in a medically induced coma and may never walk again. The medical bills are going to be at least $100k to evacuate them out, and they can’t leave the country until it’s paid. That’s awful for them and their family.

        I wouldn’t trade either of these situations for my own.

        I’m not saying OP should look down on people who have it worse or that they can’t be mad/sad with their current situation. Just that hearing others’ stories can help with the strength to move forward.

        In terms of my sis, one of the greatest lessons in life I’ve learned is that you can’t make another adult do anything even when it really is the best thing for them. I think there’s a strong criminal harassment case but she’s gotta get there - I just have to support her until she does. This gets him out of the house, makes it safer for her, and then they can divide assets. She’s trying to deal with him rationally and keep harmony but it hasn’t sunk in that no matter what she does it will boost the tension and she’s just gotta rip the band aid off in the smartest and safest way. In divorce law, it can be used against you if you “abandon the home” and their home has tons of equity so she can’t go anywhere. And any subsidized housing for him is several years’ wait. Hard to convince a mentally ill person who needs treatment of that when he flip flops between his new GF, breaking up with his new GF, can him and my sister get back together, wait no my sister is the devil and me and her are both cheating on our husbands (lol not cheating in her case because they’re separated), emailing my husband these lies and then in a separate email admitting they are lies, believing her birth control IUD is actually an abortion and she’s a baby killer, then wait no GF and him are back together.

  • Melkath@kbin.social
    link
    fedilink
    arrow-up
    0
    ·
    3 months ago

    Blood pressure charts are made by 100lb 5ft4in doctors who run a mile every day and live on a diet of kale and insist everyone should measure the same way.

    You’re fine bro.

    Your worrying about your blood pressure is raising your blood pressure.

    • Maeve@kbin.social
      link
      fedilink
      arrow-up
      0
      ·
      3 months ago

      That’s not true. High BP can lead to kidney failure, stroke, heart attacks. And having tachycardia at that age makes me wonder what else is going on. Ianad, but I’ve lost plenty friends and family members to heart and bp issues that would have been easily treatable if they proper Care wouldn’t have been cost-prohibited. I did have one friend who could have well -afforded his BP meds and eaten/exercised better (maybe 40 lb overweight), but just didn’t, plus drank heavily, by medical definition.

      • Melkath@kbin.social
        link
        fedilink
        arrow-up
        0
        ·
        3 months ago

        The point is a 24 year old doesn’t need to bring about a stroke today from constant panic because of their BP.

        I was and am there.

        The best thing they can do is not listen to people like you trying to spike their BP with panic.

  • Today@lemmy.world
    link
    fedilink
    arrow-up
    0
    ·
    3 months ago

    I had an uncle who went on bp meds at 16. It kept him from being drafted and he passed at age 82. Sometimes it’s just genetics. The concern with high blood pressure is what it does to your body over time. Take your meds - keeping it down will help prevent/limit damage and risk. Check your bp regularly to share with your doc. There are several different types of meds and it’s not unusual to need more than one type to keep it steady. 150 is high for your age, but not usually emergency level, especially if you’re asymptomatic, unless your doc has given you other guidelines.

  • machinin@lemmy.world
    link
    fedilink
    arrow-up
    0
    ·
    3 months ago

    Marcus Aurelius was helpful to me - don’t be sad about the things you’ve lost, be grateful about what you’ve gained. He was specifically talking about the loss of a child. Some people are angry at God because he took away their child to soon. We should be grateful for even the short amount of time we had with that child. I have been able to apply it to so many other situations as well. Just living in constant gratitude can make your life so much better.

    • Khiêm Từ@lemmy.worldOP
      link
      fedilink
      English
      arrow-up
      0
      ·
      3 months ago

      I also believe that philosophy could be invaluable during times like these, offering us new perspectives on life’s challenges. Thanks a bunch for your suggestion!

  • BirdEnjoyer@kbin.social
    link
    fedilink
    arrow-up
    0
    ·
    3 months ago

    All the alcoholism in both sides of my family, and I’m fretting about my liver, when I’m taking less than the recommended dose of a prescribed medication that could change my life if I could take more.

    And I’m on a COPD inhaler and I’ve never touched any death sticks at all.

    Life isn’t fair, I 100% feel you.

    I also literally felt you when they put me on amitriptyline and that gave me hbp and they kept trying to act like it wasn’t that big a deal- that with all my other health problems, my blood pressure would start getting off, and I’d have stress, yadda yadda.

    It really does feel physically horrible, especially the headaches and sleep issues.

    My biggest advice is to never be afraid about a second- or third or fourth opinion with your health, and be gentle but persistent with your goals.

    Its the art of pushing without breaking.

    Now, this is the experience for me and some unhealthy overachievers, so take the following with a grain of salt:

    A lot of times people with underlying health issues actually function their whole lives by pushing until they crash, but hide their crash, and just assume everyone else hides the meltdowns/16-hour sleeps/weekly puke sessions/etc too.

    If that happens to describe you, then you’re going to need to get comfortable with giving just 25% effort in a lot of things until you can safely figure out how to actually not hurt yourself.

    I’m serious.

    Step out of your skin, and treat yourself as you would your precious little sibling or something. Dote on yourself.

    Aaand I’ve typed too much. It gets my own stuff going. But good luck.

    • Khiêm Từ@lemmy.worldOP
      link
      fedilink
      English
      arrow-up
      0
      ·
      3 months ago

      Thank you for your honest advice and straightforward approach, it’s really helpful. I’ll definitely take a moment to reconsider things that might have slipped my mind but affect my health.

      Typing to much means you really care about others! Thanks a lot for that!

      • Victor@lemmy.world
        link
        fedilink
        arrow-up
        0
        ·
        3 months ago

        I hope it works! LCHF seems to work for all kinds of ailments. Even diabetes. Very cool stuff. But yes, obviously consult your doctor, and make sure it’s a good, scientific doctor that listens to up-to-date, peer-reviewed research.

      • VaultBoyNewVegas@lemmy.world
        link
        fedilink
        arrow-up
        0
        ·
        edit-2
        3 months ago

        Yep. I’ve IBD and i can’t ear onions, garlic or even veggies in general unless they’re boiled really soft as they fuck with my gut but I can eat a donut ok and would be encouraged to because of the sugar in it. Most people wouldn’t tell me to not avoid veggies unless really soft as most people think fruit and veggies are great as they’re healthy but the the care team I have which includes a consultant and a nurse who specialize in my disease have to me nope.

  • Maeve@kbin.social
    link
    fedilink
    arrow-up
    0
    ·
    3 months ago

    Hi. I’m really sorry you’re going through this. It sounds really scary. I’m wondering if you have some other condition going on. Is it possible this is related to any other physical conditions? Is getting a thorough physical workup doable?

    That being ruled out, maybe you could talk to a counselor with regard to your stressors, physical and mental? Are you getting plenty of fresh air and sun? Vitamin d is amazing for so many things, and it’s best when you can get enough from sunlight. Plus just walking several times a week is great. Maybe nutrition coaching is also a possibility?

    • Khiêm Từ@lemmy.worldOP
      link
      fedilink
      English
      arrow-up
      0
      ·
      3 months ago

      I’ve taken a thorough blood test, x-ray, and CT scan. Doctors are like “It’s just the stress dude, your body is ok.”

      Thank you a lot for these suggestions. I’m gonna try them out!

  • TotallyNotSpez@lemm.ee
    link
    fedilink
    arrow-up
    0
    ·
    edit-2
    3 months ago

    About 2 years ago I got diagnosed with a very bad case of osteoporosis. I’m 37 now and my bones are shockingly fragile. Saturday I moved to a new gaff, carrying a box upstairs, slightly bumping the box into my side on the banister. I felt how one of my ribs broke.

    It is super annoying. Meds can’t really fix it though since other meds for another condition are likely causing the low bone density. I don’t know how many years this will take off my life expectancy or when I’ll have to start using crutches.

  • Ms. ArmoredThirteen@lemmy.ml
    link
    fedilink
    arrow-up
    0
    ·
    3 months ago

    I’m in my 30s and feel completely hopeless right now. It comes and goes, I’ll be great for a few years then everything collapses for a few. Right now I’m staring down an expensive major surgery, losing a series of very important people in my life, divorce, work burnout. Just got to take it as best you can and try to find some goals to point toward

    My current hobbies include doing as many physical activities as I can to keep my mind off things, painting minis, and playing ukulele. Do what you can to have good sleeping habits. My sleep is garbage and it makes everything 10x harder. As always, don’t forget to drink water

    Seeing people around you partying, having gone through my own drugs and alcohol phase, it’s not all that worth it really. At least for me at any rate. I was much happier after I got a better feel for what I actually wanted in life instead of trying to use alcohol to fit in. I was like 27-28 when I figured that out

    • Maeve@kbin.social
      link
      fedilink
      arrow-up
      0
      ·
      3 months ago

      Wow. That’s a lot to deal with. I wish you the best possible outcome, in all events.

      after I got a better feel for what I actually wanted in life instead of trying to use alcohol to fit in. I was like 27-28 when I figured that out.

      I stayed to myself for two months, barely went out of my yard, or answered the phone to kick cigarettes. Of course what drinking and the occasional weed I did also went, to make kicking cigarettes easier. I went within, so so deep within. After going out into the world again, I realized: I don’t need to fit in – I certainly don’t want to fit in, anymore.

      • Ms. ArmoredThirteen@lemmy.ml
        link
        fedilink
        arrow-up
        0
        ·
        3 months ago

        Thank you, I’m slowly working through it. The surgery at least is a good thing even if it is having its way with my savings and the recovery is going to be wild. Been like two years of wait list, delays, prep, and it is coming together in about 6 weeks! After that all goes through I get to start un-fucking the rest of my life x.x

  • Kaiyoto@lemmy.world
    link
    fedilink
    arrow-up
    0
    ·
    3 months ago

    Lately I’ve felt helpless in that I can’t seem to get out of this rut. Other times in my life that I can think of was when I was getting paid minimum wage and couldn’t pay the debt I was dumb and racked up many years ago. Another time was when I was in an abusive relationship that I didn’t understand that I could end.

    I’m sure there are many others but those stand out to me at the moment.

    • Maeve@kbin.social
      link
      fedilink
      arrow-up
      0
      ·
      3 months ago

      Hey, look at all you’ve come through! Sometimes life is just "meh " The important things is, you’re showing up. That’s glorious!

  • nytrixus@lemmy.world
    link
    fedilink
    arrow-up
    0
    ·
    3 months ago

    My life right now is on a countdown timer, a very slow one at that. It’s tied to the rotting decay of my teeth. The oral surgeries, dental implants and all of that I know will cost me thousands even with insurance. It’s something I elect not to face and deal with because in doing so, it’ll pit me in either a life of debt or I’ll be spending a life with no chance of having any kind of enjoyment with whatever gains I make because it’ll all be spent just dealing with one expense after another.

    I know the severities of what happens if you choose not to deal with oral health. I also suspect that I am feeling some of the effects of it as well. Rather than feeling continual hopelessness about it, I just do what I can, brush my teeth knowing it’s pointless because they’re going to all go away by the time I’m 45 or 50.