I have aldready tried candyman and bloody mary (i said their names three time in front of a mirror correct me if i’m wrong) anything else i can try ?
Not that I believe in it, but you might as well do it right:
Start by reading something like this:
I too don’t belive in it as i am an atheist but i’m also bored . Also thanks
Candyman and Bloody Mary only work if you believe :P
Shit
Try going to bed
Nah gotta try if i can get killed before
Call 911?
They will kill me ?
Good chance.
😂
Why am i getting down voted this is litterally the no stupid questions sub.
Rule 1 of the sub says the title of any post must be a question. Your post title is a sentence, not a question.
Beetlejuice.
Cthulhu.
Any of the high-ranked demons and devils.
Any of the gods.
The fairy godmother.
If you’ve got a pair of ruby shoes, maybe the wicked witch of the west or something.
The monster under your bed.
Chris Hansen.
FBI, ATF, SWAT, IRS if you’re in US.
A thief.TELL ME HOW TO DO THESE. EXPLAIN THE PROCEDURE STEP BY STEP.
- Hold your breath
- Pass out
That isn’t how it works.
Go give it a try.
I aldready did several times
Beetlejuice is simple. 3 times the name.
Cthulhu is a bit complicated. You need deep sea aquatic components, maybe fuck a fish, live in an isolated fishing community, stuff like that.
Each demon/devil has its own ritual, so you’ll have to look them up by name.
For the gods, you need to commit some sacrilege if you want a quick and dirty response.
For the fairy godmother you need to be poor, orphan, have evil step family that doesn’t get stuck in washing machines and only own rags.
For the Oz trip, you need to wear a pair of ruby shoes, get high, spin around three times and click your heels while fervently chanting “There’s no place like home.” Obviously it only works when you’re not home.
For the monster under your bed, the main thing is thst you need to sleep on your bed with a limb or body part of choice sticking out or touching ground. After that, it depends on your monster mostly. Each one has its own preferences. Some like it when you’re clean, others only want dirty or stinky body parts. Some drag you under the bed and eat you whole, others just kill you because you annoy them. It’s all very individualistic.
For the rest there are many guides online, I’m not going to bother explaining them.
Any procedure to summon cthulhu is made up, so make one up. Or if it makes you feel better I’ll make one up:
Cook long pasta to aldente, then spread it all over the floor, then roll around it in while praising the noodly limbs of cthon, and asking the eldritch god to wrap you up and take you to the realm between dimensions. And I dunno, pat your head and rub your tummy at the same time to confuse yourself. Confusion and the unknown are the key when it comes to eldritch beings. Add spooky LED lights that shift from green to purple.
Anything that doesn’t enclude wasting food ?
Look Cthulhu demands sacrifice, but if you can’t swing pasta maybe try pipe cleaners? You might end up with crafthulhu tho.
Can i just kill something like a mosquito ?
Any procedure to summon cthulhu is made up, so make one up. Or if it makes you feel better I’ll make one up:
So is any procedure to summon anything above Chris Hansen on that list.
If you’re looking for a neurosis, try capgras
Yeah no need they are litterally worse than that aldready . In fact it maybe a downgrade for them.
Phn’glui Have you tried calling the great Chtulhu ? https://www.goominet.com/unspeakable-vault/vault/110/Cultists/
And without going in recent fiction, modern culture has tons of stories of Demon, and ritual about summoming them
Some people insist remote viewing and astral projection are real. See if you can figure out how to do them and, ideally, prove them.
How about a court summons?
Depends, What are the charges ?
Depth charges?
Accepted ?
Ok. Where is Judge Judy?
I have heard that name somewhere can’t rememner where .
And they say there are no stupid questions
So i say biggie smalls 3 times. And thanks for correcting me on candyman.
Yeah and this is quite literally a stupid question, hence the downvotes
You don’t know what this community is do you ?
Read about Three Kings, great concept even if it’s all BS. There is a subreddit about it.
Is there a sublemmy
Just say a regular prayer to the christian god but call him a shithead and see if he smites ya.
Shithead ? I have called gods more than that . And yes i am severely fucked but i don’t think its because gods exist if he did i have challenged him multiple time to fight to death why not accept that and prove it to me instead of just cursing me endlessly ?
Is that how it works?
I call him a shit head and he smites me. Do you think he would be fooled if I burned a written prayer with trump’s forged signature?
Try the Rite of AshkEnte from the Discworld novels, see if you can summon Death himself.
EDIT : Why am i getting down voted this is litterally the no stupid questions sub.
Because the point is to have a place to ask questions without having them judged as “stupid”. It’s “we will try to treat questions like they’re not stupid” and this comes across as trying very hard to make that impossible.
On the off chance you’re not trolling, be advised it sure as hell looks a lot like you’re trolling.O k i edited . I hope now itsmore clear i am not trolling . Cheers
