Eat it all in one bite.

I put it in a brown paper lunch baggie and eat it from the top so the bag catches the crumbs… for the most part!

Why would you want to? The more crumbs that drop everywhere, the better it tastes! Just like eating hot wings is best when the sauce gets all over your entire face. If you can get some sauce on your forehead then that’s a damned fine wing meal!

I bite into the widest part of the middle first, then I peel the layers apart individually and eat them with a fork and knife.

That’s the neat part, you don’t

You have to create a vacuuming of air with every bite. Just do strong, deep inhales while biting, ripping, and tearing, prior to the chewing. The crumbs will all be sucked inward towards your mouth and lungs, and you won’t have any problems

Dunk it in water, squeeze it into a tight ball, and take bites like it’s an apple.

If you don’t want flakes, don’t eat a flaky pastry.

I avoid moving around while eating it, eat it over a plate/napkin, and then brush the flakes off into the trash. Eating them when they’re warm/moist also helps.

Eat it in one bite

It’s supposed to be flaky, stop complaining

Enjoy your pastry

Toss the croissant up in the air, lean my head back, and eat it one big chomp

This article sounds like the result of assigning a middle school student to write an instructional essay with a required word length. The middle school student asked chat GPT for help.

I always eat messy things by leaning over my plate, or carefully taking bites above a bag or whatever. I like being fastidious.