Everything just seems so out of control. The US seems to be tearing itself apart. The world is on fire. We seem to be going backwards when it comes to freedom and human rights. We’ve turned our backs on each other. How do you cope with all this without just giving up?

  • euchriduk @lemmy.world
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    5 months ago

    Meditation (as in, observing your thoughts without judgement, allowing them space, cultivating awareness and compassion). You don’t have to sit and focus on a candle or image or get the right breathing techniques or follow any kind of religion. Pema Chodron’s books are a very accessible and easy to read, and you don’t need to be a Buddhist to follow her work.

    Look for spiritual sustenance in nature and in compassionate people. I find a lot of reassuring and helpful approaches in Jiddu Krishnamurti’s works, particularly his understanding that cultivating awareness and honest, open observation will increase compassion in yourself and will spread compassion in the world. (It’s more nuanced than that, but that’s an element of his observations). People with something genuinely helpful to say are not selling you anything - neither an idea or a product.

    The news is there to sell things - ideas and products. Most news sources are selling a political and/or religious idea and bias as well as literally advertising products. News media is a business, making money from advertising. They don’t make money from selling ideas that life can be satisfying or enjoyable without buying stuff or doing things that make politicians and religious leaders more rich or powerful. Always read the news with a critical eye and look at what isn’t being focused on, not what is. Search for interesting personal stories, not headlines to get a slightly better perspective on the world.

    There was a study done a few years ago that found that 60% of social media accounts were fake. That number is probably higher now, and there is more AI, too. The news and media and even federated systems are all manipulated in various ways. Huge congregations of right wing end-times Christians work like bot farms to spread fear and misinformation across all platforms: their goal is to speed up destruction because they believe in an afterlife that is only possible if the unbelievers are destroyed. They spread so much fear around feminism, LGBTQ+ issues, trans debates, flat earth nonsense, climate change denial, pro and anti vaccine arguments, etc. They just use whatever works to stir people up; they will take either side of an argument. The Taliban and Al-Queada worked in the same way, to similar ends. Israel and Russia and China all use these manipulation tactics too, to slightly different ends. The UK and Europe have other methods and goals (destroy threats to capitalism and neo colonialism, be seen as good guys). There are bot farms, hackers and paid accounts for every type of greedy power addict. But they all want destruction of perceived rivals, and they want one group of people to be afraid of another. It’s all lies and manipulation - some of it works, in a way, but a lot of it doesn’t. The fact they are all using these tactics show how desperate and afraid they are. We need to remember just how manipulated news stories and media are, and how the governments and organisations of the world are all trying to fool each other’s populations. Before the internet, you only saw your own country’s propaganda - now you see it all, and the system is falling apart in front of our eyes.

    The news is not the sum total of things that are happening; it’s what is making someone more money or more power. The news doesn’t report all the people who had a pleasant day, or did a little bit better than yesterday - but how can it? Remember that for every horror story in the news, a thousand times more people were doing OK or better.

    Do something that brings you actual joy every day. If you are honest with yourself, you find that actual joy is always the simple things - a favourite food, bouncing a ball, sitting under a tree, reading a good story, caring for a pet, holding hands quietly with a loved one, watching the clouds, riding a bike in nature, making music and art, reading a comic… Whatever small joys you can find, do them every day if you can, even if you’re living in a war zone. The small joys are reality, and sometimes you’ll experience big joys, although you don’t need them so often. News and depressive thoughts are not reality, only skewed and biased ways of looking at parts of reality. Moments of small joy are often all of reality that really matters.

    Meditation (in whatever form works for you) can help you to experience the sensation that you are not your thoughts. “You” are something that exists with or without thoughts. It is not enough to consider this idea, it is something you need to actually experience, as often as possible. By extension, the world is not the collective thoughts and opinions of people: there is a reality of existence beyond all the nonsense we project on top of it.

    Look for humour and go back to things that help you remember that there is always a lot to laugh about in world. Try to avoid cruel, mocking humour and yet be open to finding life-affirming humour even amongst the worst tragedies.

    Cultivate compassion for yourself and the world around you. Ultimately aim to do everything out of compassion - not obsession or selfishness, fear or greed. If you need to be alone, be compassionate for yourself and others that need to be alone; if you need to be with other people, be compassionate for them. Don’t look for things in return: it is not a transaction. Compassionate action will not only bring you joy and peace, they will spread it. Practice compassion for everything - plants, animals, yourself, and other people. True compassion is not draining or tiring; it is a letting go of things like prejudice and judgement. It is not easy to do, it is something to work at.

    Have positive, achievable goals and work on them whenever you can. You will get setbacks; it’s OK. Life shouldn’t be lived on a flat surface, there should ups and downs. It’s a journey, and a true journey should be interesting, across a changing landscape. When you have downs, recognise that there will necessarily be an up before long. The same us true for people around you, and the world.

    Work on things you can change for the better, don’t focus on what you can’t. But actually work on the things you can change. It doesn’t matter how small they are; in many ways, the universe is not interested in big or small; and small things can make big changes anyway, like atoms or bacteria or blood cells (which can all do equally good or bad things, from our human perspective).

    There are injustices and tragedies and traumas happening around the world; there are as many beautiful, loving kind things happening at the same time, probably more. The internet, the TV, the newspapers, magazines, books and media are just very small windows for an infinitely large world. We often think we’re seeing everything, but we are seeing very little. Our only reality is when we are not looking at life through these small windows - but we spend so much time looking through them that we forget reality. Do things that take you back to reality. If that reality is painful, approach it with compassion and it will gradually get less painful.

    Work in reducing suffering in all forms for yourself and everything around you. Don’t contribute to suffering and don’t dwell on guilt and fear. Acknowledge those experiences, but let them pass. Don’t push bad things away, but don’t give them energy - just observe them, and return to things that create joy and peace, no matter how small. You don’t have to fix things or cure things that are bad, just work on making them a little bit better.

    Remember that a lot of bad news is only a matter of perspective. So much of what we hear about - wars, corruption, illness, oppression, greed - are clear signs that the perpetrators of those things are desperate. Desperate people feel as though they are losing; they are doing everything they can to hold on to power, and they are lashing out. But they are losing the fight (most of which is with themselves or each other). Yes, we are the victims of their lashing out, but their viciousness and fear-mongering is because they are losing. They are losing because they have lost compassion and kindness and love. If we don’t cultivate those things, we will join them in desperation and fear; if we do continue to cultivate those things, they can never defeat us, because we are not even trying to win or to fight. We are surviving and growing and living. They can hurt us, but they can’t defeat us, and when they hurt us, they hurt themselves. But when we try to hurt them, we hurt ourselves, too. We end the fight by inviting them (the desperate, the rich, the powerful) to join us in compassion and kindness, by turning away from suffering and from causing suffering. There is no action too small to help make the world a better place.

    Thank you for coming to my Wendy’s Ted Talk.

  • 0x0001@sh.itjust.works
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    5 months ago

    Giving up isn’t so bad, but for myself I limit how much social media and news I consume and do my best to plan life ahead for any upcoming tragedies when I do get my periodic doses.

    Not much we can do about the truly terrible things happening, but we can make existence a little less shitty around ourselves.

    You and I are not the center of the universe, it’s okay to just exist.

  • GBU_28@lemm.ee
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    5 months ago

    Log off. It’s that simple. Your stress will reduce linearly with reduced screen time

  • z3rOR0ne@lemmy.ml
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    5 months ago

    I just accept that life is absurd. Once you accept that morality, your own desires, logic, all of them are like waves through time, coming and going, changing form, never staying still…you recognize how ridiculous it is to desperately cling to any semblence of a ground beneath you. Just let yourself fall into the unknown, and at least the insignificance of your own struggle against the tides of change is acknowledged.

    Or you can, y’know, just scream, cry, and rage about it. I think of emotions like a buffet. You gotta try them all at least once, and often in a wide variety of combinations. But hey, you do you.

  • Naich@kbin.social
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    5 months ago
    1. Do what you can. Reduce your carbon footprint by eating less meat, using cars less, flying less. OK, by yourself it’s not going to make a huge difference, but at least you will know that personally, you aren’t making it worse. Join a group that is trying to make a positive difference.

    2. Concentrate on the little things that make you happy. You can’t stop climate change on your own but you can make something nice for dinner.

    3. Value your friends and keep in touch with them. They probably feel pretty much the same as you do. Cheer each other up and support each other.

    4. Get a hobby to keep yourself occupied.

    That’s all I can think of.

  • neidu2@feddit.nl
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    5 months ago

    Focus on your bright spots.

    Also, keep in mind that all the negativity you see is mostly due to 24hour news cycles and other methods of getting instant updates from around the world. And misery-porn sells better.

  • OurTragicUniverse@kbin.social
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    5 months ago

    Accepting this is what my species is like and that this is the world we’ve made for ourselves, is the hard bit.
    The good bit is that it will be over soon.

    The rest is depression.

  • PatMustard@feddit.uk
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    5 months ago

    On average the world is better than it’s ever been. Higher life expectancies, less war, better quality of life; it’s all generally on the up. Would you rather go back to the last financial crisis? When the ozone layer was being depleted? The interment threat of nuclear annihilation? Race riots? Women not being able to vote? High infant mortality? etc, etc

    • otp@sh.itjust.works
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      5 months ago

      On average the world is better than it’s ever been

      Of course, certain groups of people have been trying to reverse these trends in the name of…money? Tradition?

      The newer generations are no longer becoming smarter (I believe it was the Flynn effect). Education is being defunded at all levels.

      The cost of living in many parts of the world has been outpacing wages… especially now, but for decades. Yet we have more wealth hoarded into fewer hands.

      Anti-vax and anti-science movements have been reintroducing measles and have been making it hard to fight other diseases.

      We are seeing the effects of these things in action, and they will only get worse over time.

      • intensely_human@lemm.ee
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        5 months ago

        They’re trying to reverse those trends because acknowledging those trends means giving up on their theory that our dominant economic system is defunct.

          • intensely_human@lemm.ee
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            5 months ago

            Exactly. That kind of thinking doesn’t work when you realize the “cancer” is producing situations like:

            Higher life expectancies, less war, better quality of life

            Do you disagree with those statements? Do you need to see evidence before you’ll believe them?

            Or do you acknowledge the statements, but disagree that they justify the “cancer” of our current economic system?

            • highduc@lemmy.ml
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              5 months ago

              Do you disagree with those statements? Do you need to see evidence before you’ll believe them?\

              I disagree with them.
              Higher life expectancy - I wouldn’t attribute that to capitalism. Further more life expectancy in the US is declining afaik.
              Less war - What do you mean? There’s a war in Ukraine, one in Palestine, and there’s been perpetual war since …forever. The US war machine always bombs some country, assassinates a democratically elected leader, etc.
              Better quality of life - For the 1% at the expense of all the others maybe.

              Capitalism is all about profits, not about better products, better quality of life, etc. In fact it’s easily against those things if they get in the way of profit. You can see enshittification everywhere.
              For example it would be against their interest for a pharmaceutical company to sell the permanent cure for a disease instead of life-long medical treatment. The latter would be subscription-based therefore create more profit. The cancer comparison is quite fitting imo.

    • ArumiOrnaught@kbin.social
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      5 months ago

      There is less war, but that’s not always a great indicator. Depending on how you define “war” you could even define Ukraine/Russian war not as a war.

      Life expectancy is going up because of 3rd world countries finally catching up. It’s going down in America.

      The “world” is also getting richer. But the average person is getting poorer.

      Also ozone layer isn’t doing great, there are race riots still, there is threat of nuclear war with Russia existing in its current state, a lot of rights are threatened and a lot of people want to return to a time before women’s suffrage. I haven’t looked up anything on infant mortality, but I imagine with abortion band happening that will also change for the worse.

      The only peace I’ve found is action.

      • PatMustard@feddit.uk
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        5 months ago

        This is such a short-sighted and USA-centric response. Your life expectancy seems fine, and even if there were a blip I’m sure it will continue to increase on average. Wealth is not an objective measure of quality of life. The ozone layer repaired itself. Even in America you’ve got a lot less lynching than you used to have. Speak to anyone who lived through the cold war and tell them you think nuclear war is just as much of a threat now as it was then.

        • ArumiOrnaught@kbin.social
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          5 months ago

          I do have arguments against all of what you said. But the funniest one is definitely the ozone layer.

          You sure you want to say the ozone layer is fine? When was the last time you looked at anything talking about it?

          • PatMustard@feddit.uk
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            5 months ago

            As a result of the scientific findings and the possible severe impacts of ozone depletion, governments around the world began passing laws reducing or banning the production of CFCs and other ODSs. This culminated in the Montreal Protocol, agreed in 1987, which has now been signed by every member state of the United Nations. Signatories to the Montreal Protocol have agreed to phase out ODSs and replace them with less-damaging substances.

            Since the passing of the Montreal Protocol, the emissions of ODSs have fallen to a fraction of their levels in the early 1980s and the ozone layer has begun to recover. The hole in the ozone layer over Antarctica still exists, but it has been slowly shrinking over the past two decades thanks to concerted international action.

            https://www.metoffice.gov.uk/weather/climate/climate-explained/ozone-layer

            So not completely back to how it was before we fucked it, but the problem has been fixed

            • ArumiOrnaught@kbin.social
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              5 months ago

              "By taking a holistic look at the yearly progression of the Antarctic ozone hole over the last two decades, we find that:

              The addition of recent years to the Antarctic (60°S–90°S) total column ozone time series results in insignificant long-term change since the early 2000’s, even where significant recovery has previously been reported. During this time, we find a delay in both the deep ozone hole onset date as well as the breakup date."

              https://www.nature.com/articles/s41467-023-42637-0

              Tl:dr if all you’re doing is looking at the peak/minimum times of year it can seem better. The hole “breathes” and they’re getting delayed.

              I work on diesel trucks, they create a lot of N0x. This article talks about how N0x being bad. It’s a niche thing but I at least understand why I tend to see these things first.

      • intensely_human@lemm.ee
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        5 months ago

        The “world” is also getting richer. But the average person is getting poorer.

        I’m sorry I don’t understand this statement. How could this be true in a way that doesn’t violate logic?

        • ArumiOrnaught@kbin.social
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          5 months ago

          Pretend an x,y graph

          Put a bell curve in it. This will be money
          Put one behind it. This will be population.

          Now increase money curve and shift it to the right. Push it so far it stops being a bell curve and becomes an exponential curve.

          What’s the phrase? 1% owns 99% of the wealth? So there is more money in the system, but fewer people have “middle class” money.

    • greywolf0x1@lemmy.ml
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      5 months ago

      Less war?

      There’s a genocide going on in the middle east right now by settler colonialist fully backed by the western powers to destabilize the region and I’m sure you know that, it’s just irrelevant to you.

      There’re too many neoliberals on lemmy, I can’t even deal fam

      • Pohl@lemmy.world
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        5 months ago

        There were at least 2 other genocides in progress the last October when this mess started. You only care about this one because you have been told to.

        Neoliberalism is really an economic philosophy. It doesn’t really have a lot to say about how a nation ought to position itself toward foreign wars. It’s not an all purpose slur for people who disagree with you.

    • HenriVolney@sh.itjust.works
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      5 months ago

      Some people argue that humanity was never freer, happier and healthier than before the agricultural revolution. Everything has gone to shit since we decided to settle down on a small plot of land.

      • PatMustard@feddit.uk
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        5 months ago

        It was much simpler when you were born, miraculously survived childhood, hunted, gathered, then died before your back even had time to get sore

        • intensely_human@lemm.ee
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          5 months ago

          Honestly it probably was a far more meaningful and fun life. Terrifying too, but super meaningful. The environment your brain evolved for. No old age horseshit, just a painful moment of death followed by your family mourning you. But no pictures or nothing, and everyone’s tripping on shrooms so you’re still there in spirit form. I’m joking as a reflex but I’m serious here. It was probably a better life overall. Seeing a worm and thinking of it as food, having no problem eating that little bastard because your stomach’s gnawing at ya. That’s life boy. Just raw dogging for all the jungle to see why the hell not. It’s prehistory baby. Anything goes.

          • intensely_human@lemm.ee
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            5 months ago

            Sorry I am trying to make a point. I think it would be better probably. Except for all the misery. The good parts would be super good. The non-awful parts would be super good.

  • ComradeSharkfucker@lemmy.ml
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    5 months ago

    I learn why and how it has happened before

    If you prefer audio

    You are nearly powerless as an individual yes, but you still have some influence on the world around you. Using it alone at your own whims maybe you can affect the people closest to you and make their lives better but as a collective you can expand that sphere of influence to a vast extent, even globally.

    Western society is designed to isolate you, it’s a sprawling expanse of concrete with no where for you to go that doesn’t cost money. We primarily live in single family homes and that is often legally required due to our districting. we wake up, we go to work surrounded by people we often don’t actually connect with because deep down we still know they are our competition, maybe we go out and spend time with what friends we might have retained this far if it’s a weekend and we aren’t too exhausted, maybe we stay inside and busy ourselves with some hobby or mindlessly consume some media, then we do it again. Over and over and over and over.

    How are you meant to organize if you barely even know anyone outside a small friend group? If you don’t have a car? If you’re exhausted from rediculous work hours and broke from shitty pay? You certainly won’t organize if you’re pumped full of the most dopamine rich meaningless slop corporate can come up with. Not if there is no sense of community where you live because existing outside cost money and everyone is so far away you don’t even know who your neighbors are.

    But you do it anyway. Because the struggle is not meaningless, because you wouldn’t want them to look the other way when you’re left to rot, because you want change.

    It’s normal to feel overwhelmed by the horrors of the world when you have no one to lean on and you don’t have any idea of how you might help. You are meant to feel that way because the more powerless you feel the easier you are to exploit