And I know we’re mostly atheists here, but please keep the theological discussion to a minimum and appreciate the lighthearted hypothetical scenario for what it is.
Don’t take the Bible too literally
Thou shalt not kill
That’s literally the sixth commandment.
The commandment so nice he wrote it twice.
No one seems to be paying much attention to it.
Thou shalt not push to prod on Fridays
git blame, the new Amen.
Thou shalt not partake of decaf
Thou shalt not have no idea
Thou shalt always go for greatness
Thou shalt not commit adulthood
Thou shalt not suppress flatulence
ALL
The ones that make the most sense to me as stuff Moses might say.
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Thou shalt trust honest people, for why would one be honest if nothing comes from it
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Thou shalt not assume things, to assume is often more destructive than lying
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Thou shalt not cheat in games and anything with a justified set list of rules
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Thou shalt not intentionally cause mental illness, for it is equal to murder
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Thou shalt not gatekeep or deny another person’s rightful union
Wow, those really sound like they could have been from the Bible (also bonuses point to you for coming up with a serious suggestion). Here, you win the Nobel prize in Prophetry*! Your basically the new Moses, and we shall follow you!
/s (it’s sarcasm but keep the Nobel prize, you deserve it (*v*)/ []-[]¬ )
* Prophetry is supposed to mean “being a prophet” but I just made that word up
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The five missing ones are:
- Acknowledge the central point.
- Thou shalt not soapbox.
- Thou shalt not decontextualise what others say.
- Thou shalt not claim intentions to defend thine or someone else’s actions.
- Thou shalt not convey “I disagree” through feigned lack of understanding.
Bonus: the original version of the 8th was
- Thou shalt not claim with certainty things that you do not know for certain.
The current 8th (Thou shalt not bear false witness against thy neighbour) is a forgery. Some assumer got called out over and over because of the older 8th, since he really liked to make shit up, so he restricted it into near uselessness. Source: I’m Lucifer, I know it. :^)
Your version of the 8th would literally undo all religion (and a bit of science).
Your version of the 8th would literally undo all religion
It would undo the myths, I think. Morality and religious practices might survive depending on how much they rely on said myths.
and a bit of science
It would perhaps demote a lot of theories back to hypotheses, but that’s actually good IMO. A good scientist should embrace the doubt and treat it as a respectable enemy, not hide from it like a catfish in the mud.
Final line:
Now remember, these are just guidelines, you don’t have to take them too seriously, have some fun with them, that’s why I made you.
Thou shalt not fuck kids. They definitely meant for that to be in there, right? Guys…?
what was that? gay people are sinners? got it.
/s ::: spoiler disclaimer
this is about the bible verse about laying with a boy (or something). not homophobic
:::
- Do not treat people or animals as things
- Consent first from others, especially your family
- The Earth and it’s creatures should be shepherded and guarded, not exploited
- No gods, no kings, no rulers - instead have empathy, sharing, and collaboration
- It’s round you nimrods, because that’s how gravity works
This stuff would really have changed things… I suspect Moses intentionally dropped this one?
Would it really? Humanity never follows the other 10 so why follow these ones?
Thou shall chill out and just hang out
Thou shalt not be cruel
Thou shalt not oppress your fellow man
Thou shalt not put yourself before your brethren
Thou shalt not think only of yourself
Thou shalt not live in a disordered home, nor shall you allow the cities you live in to become disorderly due to your own lack of action
Do as I say, not as I do.
If more people acknowledged the massive hypocrisy of the christian bible, the world might have been a better place.
Thou shalt not delude thyself.
Thou shalt not get caught.
Thou who smelt it, thine own self dealt it.
Thou shalt not be a poo poo head
Thou shalt not hold unbelievers to the moral standards thou agreedest to and that only applyeth to thee
Thou shalt not giveth a shitteth about shitteth that is not thine own
