• thawed_caveman@lemmy.world
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    10 days ago

    Circa 2012 my boomer parents had me job hunting in person AND hand-writing the cover letters. It got me two jobs so maybe it wasn’t the worst advice, but i would spend every day driving around and penning half a dozen letters for employers that, a lot of the time, weren’t even hiring.

    Anyway, that (12 years ago) was the last job hunt i’ve ever done, it’s been nothing but networking and freelancing ever since

    • Usernameblankface@lemmy.worldOP
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      12 days ago

      Oh wow that’s a good one! There was a time where it worked out great the vast majority of the time. Not so much now, definitely aged like milk

    • exasperation@lemm.ee
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      12 days ago

      Nah, that advice is still correct. The 4-year degree provides a huge benefit over not having it.

      It’s just that a lot of people don’t realize just how much shittier not having a degree in 2024 is compared to not having a degree in 1974.

      So while the baseline has gotten worse, and the actual benefit of college has shrunk, it’s still easily worth the 4 year commitment and the tuition/opportunity cost.

      • RememberTheApollo_@lemmy.world
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        11 days ago

        The 4-year degree provides a huge benefit over not having it.

        For average lifetime earnings.

        So for some it may not provide a big help.

      • fishpen0@lemmy.world
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        11 days ago

        Right now trade schools are actually providing a better cost to income ratio than college.

        It’s anecdotal but my friends in the Boston area were all making 120-150 in salary plus bonus before I was even out of school and I started in software at 65k and didn’t break into that level for another 4 years. Now I make 230 but they’ve all got houses and decked out retirement funds from having that good money when they were much younger. That extra 20-30k/yr in 401k and IRA funds with 5-6 years more growth time in the market isn’t something to shake a stick at.

        • exasperation@lemm.ee
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          11 days ago

          Now I make 230

          Yeah the break even point is like the early 30’s, even among people who are killing it in either path.10 years of $100k+ in your 20’s won’t be able to build up enough of a buffer against $200k+ after 30, when retirement ages are around 60.

          • fishpen0@lemmy.world
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            11 days ago

            It’s actually harrowing how little I have in retirement savings compared to them. I spent the first 6 years of my career paying off loans and only contributing up to my employers match. I was illiquid for multiple large economic events while they had cash laying around. They could buy cars when interest was zero. They had a house to refi when interest was zero. I feel like a millennial describing boomers but these are guys in their 30s who went to trade school.

            For me to catch up I have to put money almost entirely in taxable accounts where their money and returns are shielded from taxes. They were actually able to use a Roth for many years where I was only real able to max one out for two years before my promotion put me out of eligibility.

            The earlier you are in a market, the better off you are and trades put you into the market almost 10 years earlier than someone taking 4 years of college and then having 4-6 years of loan payments

      • linux2647@lemmy.sdf.org
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        12 days ago

        Counter-point: not everyone is cut out for a four-year degree*. Some people are better suited for trade schools. My wife worked at a university and saw a number of students that were attending just because family wanted them to, but their heart wasn’t in it. Often they’d drop out with student debt and no degree to show for it.

        *or at least when they’re young

        • exasperation@lemm.ee
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          11 days ago

          a number of students that were attending just because family wanted them to, but their heart wasn’t in it

          There are probably an even higher percentage of those in trade schools or entry level trades roles. You can’t compare the worst outcomes in one category with the best outcomes in another, and should instead compare medians.

      • ryathal@sh.itjust.works
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        11 days ago

        There’s also a lot of things that people ignored from this advice. No one said get literally any degree, art majors have been the source of unemployment jokes since before I was born. No one also said take 5-7 years or more to get the degree either.

    • weeeeum@lemmy.world
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      11 days ago

      Depends. For someone else? Maybe not. On yourself? Definitely.

      Work hard studying and exercising. Self improvement I’d important, and its not related to job opportunities, but rather mastering the art of living.

    • ryathal@sh.itjust.works
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      11 days ago

      This works as long as you apply some level of thought to it. Digging a ditch with a spoon is hard work, it’s unlikely to help you get anywhere.

  • hperrin@lemmy.ca
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    12 days ago

    Something along the lines of “don’t ever go to bed angry at each other.” Like, yeah, you should try to work it out, but if you fucked up real bad, don’t push it. Sleep on the couch.

  • Pyrin@kbin.melroy.org
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    12 days ago

    Any dumb and vaguely open-ended advice. Like “just be yourself”.

    What if you’re improving yourself because the real you sucked? Do you just give that all up and return to what you were? Whoever first said that piece of advice, obviously didn’t think it through enough.

    • Ananääs@sopuli.xyz
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      12 days ago

      Yeah thanks * adult * for the advice, why don’t you try AuDHD and see what you think of it - or rather what others think of you when you just * be yourself *

    • pixelscript@lemm.ee
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      11 days ago

      “Just be yourself” always feels like non-advice when it appears as an answer to a question like, “What should I do?” That’s because it’s secretly negative advice. As in, it doesn’t tell you what you should do, it only tells you what you shouldn’t do. It’s code for, “Don’t pretend to be something you aren’t”. Don’t pretend, don’t lie, don’t put on a facade you can’t keep up.

      Technically good advice, yes. But it’s the equivalent of being behind the controls of a plane you don’t know how to fly and the pilot is incapacitated, and your question of “How the hell do I fly this thing?” being met with, “Well, for starters, don’t jerk the stick and flip the plane over.” Wowee gee, thanks for the tip.

    • Alexstarfire@lemmy.world
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      12 days ago

      It’s not “don’t ever change.” It’s just saying don’t pretend to be something that you aren’t. You most likely can’t keep that going forever and that’s one reason why many people feel like their SO changes after being together for a while.

    • Usernameblankface@lemmy.worldOP
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      12 days ago

      It can be a great compliment when someone knows you well enough to see that you’re overthinking things. Too many times it’s just thrown around without thinking it through and that ruins it for everyone

    • Battle Masker@lemmy.world
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      11 days ago

      is myself

      gets bullied for being self

      attempts suicide from excessive bullying

      think I did something wrong back then

  • Rednax@lemmy.world
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    11 days ago

    “Fully empty your battery before charging it up again, it increases the lifespan of the battery.”

    This was true before lithium-ion batteries became the norm. But for lithium-ion batteries, the opposite holds.

    • Aksamit@slrpnk.net
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      11 days ago

      Remembering which of my devices are old method charging and which are new method is a pain.

      I have several camping lamps from like 20 years ago that I almost threw out because they weren’t holding charge anymore, before I remembered to be fully draining the batteries and recharging them once a month. They work like new now practically.

      • Atemu@lemmy.ml
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        11 days ago

        Don’t let it uncharge fully. You ideally want to stay in the 30-70% range as much as possible.

        • SkaveRat@discuss.tchncs.de
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          11 days ago

          From time to time you want to let the battery go from 100% to shutting off, so the charging circuit can calibrate the reported capacity

        • WoodScientist@lemmy.world
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          11 days ago

          Luigi Mangione treated Brian Robert Thompson exactly how Brian Robert Thompson treated others. Treat others the way you want to be treated, lest others treat you the way you treat others. Luigi Mangione judged Brian Robert Thompson according to the Golden Rule. Right or wrong, Luigi Mangione’s actions were a direct and terrifying application of the Golden Rule.

          Brian Robert Thompson murdered approximately 40 human beings every single day. And for that, he became a victim of murder himself. The Golden Rule put him in his grave.

          • Call me Lenny/Leni@lemm.ee
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            11 days ago

            Luigi: “I don’t want to be killed, so I won’t kill anyone.”

            Also Luigi: kills someone

            That’s not the golden rule. And where is it established either of them murdered forty humans everyday?

            • WoodScientist@lemmy.world
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              11 days ago

              Approximately 68,000 Americans die from health insurance denials of medically necessary care every year. United Healthcare’s share of that comes to about 40 people per day. And yes, it’s the company killing those people, not the CEO directly. But Brian Robert Thompson gleefully gloated and took credit for the huge profits that resulted from UHC’s industry-leading rates of care denial. If he can take credit for the profits that resulted from those deaths, it is entirely reasonable to place the moral culpability for those deaths on his head. Did he ever kill someone with his own two hands? No. But neither did Osama Bin Ladin (at least on 9/11.)

              And Luigi certainly acted according to the Golden Rule, you’re just not seeing it from his perspective. His version of the Golden Rule was, “if I ever kill thousands of innocent people, feel free to kill me.” And if, in some bizarro world, Luigi somehow ends up with the blood of thousands on his hands, then by the Golden Rule someone would be justified taking him out as well.

              You don’t have to agree with Luigi to understand his motives. From his perspective, his and Thompson’s situation were entirely different. Luigi killed one man, Brian Robert Thompson killed thousands. From his perspective, Luigi killed as an act of righteous vengeance against the wicked, while Thompson killed for profit. And if we judged him according to the Golden Rule, someone would be justified in killing Luigi if he ever killed thousands in the name of profit.

              • Call me Lenny/Leni@lemm.ee
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                11 days ago

                If his motives were genuine, which I say like that because his act has been called into question, his version of the golden rule wouldn’t be the golden rule though as much as it is classic mutual exchange, and even that would be generous to say, not just because of the fact that Healthcare, both in its public and privatized forms (with all forms having their respective issues, since they’re all made to equalize people), is a contract, everything being implied in the beginning and established to work how it does for each client (challenging the assertion it’s the scam people make it out to be, especially as it abides by the law which in our age is hard on scams), but also because he had a whole list of targets as a part of the evidence against him, with the one victim being a minor cog in his own machine, however ethically questionable he or UnitedHealth have been, going to show how premature and generalized the sympathy is towards him.

    • Kuma@lemmy.world
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      11 days ago

      Why?

      I think it has worked pretty well so far. You should never follow a rule strictly, it isn’t law after all. But as a rules does it work. The few times I didn’t follow it when I should did it bite me in the ass later.

      A good example when it works in my favor to follow the rule: I am always on time or a bit early and all my friends who usually are late when meeting other friends are never late when we meet up, especially when it isn’t a group meet up.

      • Call me Lenny/Leni@lemm.ee
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        11 days ago

        Having weighed all the times the gist of it made sense versus all the times the gist of it didn’t make sense, I have found the latter happens more often for me. It is often synonymous with shifting burden, where you can’t do so much as use discipline without it being brought up. It is also often synonymous with projecting one’s interests onto someone else, since you are using yourself as a model. In this way, it is anti-negotiative.

        • Kuma@lemmy.world
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          10 days ago

          Understandable, but I can’t really talk for someone else than my self. My example was about me being on time and therefore most do the same because it was something I felt was mutual. I would never tell them that they need to change for my sake, if I would then it would be for our relationships sake. How can I tell someone I wish them to be on time if I am not?

          And ofc it is about interest, I want a harmonious relationship regardless what kind of relationship it is, to be respected then I need to respect the person back. It isn’t like I walk around and think about this haha

          But you did make me curious and I am still curious, so far can I only assume what you refer to.

          I think we are talking about different things. To me is It not meant to be used against someone but to better yourself and understand consequences of your own actions. It is mainly said to kids like you said. But it sounds like you hear it a lot in arguments which is not how I think it should be used.

  • Lightor@lemmy.world
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    11 days ago

    My parents separated when I was really young, roughly 5 yrs old. As I grew up and had visitation with my dad he always drilled into me “women just want a man who can provide for them, in the end they all just want money.” Being young and obviously not knowing how crazy my dad was yet, I believed him for a long time.

    Turns out when you treat people like they just want you for your money, that’s the only kind of people who will put up with you. Kinda self fulfilling. Found a nice lady now, happily married and caring about each other, not just money.

  • sbv@sh.itjust.works
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    11 days ago

    Find what you love, and then figure out how to make money on it.

    It worked for me, but not my spouse. Sometimes you just need to find something you’re happy enough doing to make the income.

    • friendlymessage@feddit.org
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      11 days ago

      Yeah, finding a career that is acceptable and pays enough to afford the lifestyle you crave is a balance. Usually that advice comes from people who love doing something that is coincidentally also highly paid.

      Also, loving something and being actually good enough at it to make a career out of it are also two different things

    • weeeeum@lemmy.world
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      11 days ago

      Depends what part of the process you like. Some people like to be very meticulous in their hobbies, and somewhat of a perfectionist. That rarely exists in a professional environment, where everything is based on getting projects out the door, on schedule and on budget.

      I actually like banging out projects quickly, so the professional life of my hobby suits me well (woodworking). I love pounding out big mortises with a sledgehammer, planing big boards and watch chips go flying. I hate fiddling with joinery and slowly fitting them for 10 minutes (slowly learning how to do them faster). For other people, joinery is their favorite part.

    • Caveman@lemmy.world
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      11 days ago

      I always thought that was really dumb. After hearing stories from people then “find a skill in demand that sounds like a fun challenge” is a way better approach. I went for software but mech/civil engineering, carpentry, electrician and architect would all also be great choices.

  • Kaiyoto@lemmy.world
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    11 days ago

    Work hard and do your best at work and you’ll go places.

    Yeah I got moved around several times in the office. That’s about it.

    • MonkeMischief@lemmy.today
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      11 days ago

      “In a negotiation about wearing black vs. brown shoes, compromise is wearing two different colored shoes. Nobody gets what they want and one of you ends up looking like an idiot.”

      Paraphrased from memory from a book called “Never Split the Difference: Negotiate as if Your Life Depends on it”

  • Boozilla@lemmy.world
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    12 days ago

    “Find a job doing what you love, and you’ll never work a day in your life.”

    I used to love software. Then all the Lumberghs took over.

      • corsicanguppy@lemmy.ca
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        12 days ago

        In our next union agreement “only one unified timesheet ever” is a demand we’re putting forth.

        And you know for us to put that in the deal and see what it’ll cost us in return, we’re fucking fed up.

        I feel like that’s the same as a TPS report.

    • friendlymessage@feddit.org
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      11 days ago

      I’d say the tasks and role of your job should at least be enjoyable enough to not hate it but what I think is even more important (and makes me enjoy my job) is the work climate, being appreciated by colleagues / customers / management, and a sense of purpose.

    • MonkeMischief@lemmy.today
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      11 days ago

      Before I post this, I apologize for the content length:

      Yeah this one hurts, because I’ve heard it all my life yet in MOST situations when I research a job and think “Hey that could be alright!”

      There’s always some nasty hidden majority of it that seems to exist solely to make sure nobody enjoys doing it too much. Like there’s some misery quotient to be filled. Misery must be some kind of profit currency as a means of doing business…

      As a hypothetical example: You like working with your hands and think assembling widgets or tools might be your thing. You romanticize taking pride in your work and imagining the end user being happy with your efforts.

      But you find that once you get there, you’re a slave to some Taylorism machine that demands infinite widgets in increasingly unrealistic timespans or else. And you never see the finished product. They also ban music and glare at you like criminals the entire time.

      Or perhaps you envision that hardworking but noble slice-of-life-anime vibe, where you and some cool co-workers run a coffee shop and you’re determined to earn a reputation for the perfect brew… except it’s just you, by yourself, and a long line of grouchy jerks, and some machine is there yelling at you if you’re not doing so many transactions-per-hour and your manager is displeased because you aren’t selling two-coffees-and-a-plastic-tumbler per customer or something.

      Less hypothetical: People tell me I’d make a great teacher. Yeah, I don’t need to elaborate on those realities. (God bless you, teachers. Seriously.)

      The education system is also just a human conveyor belt at this point.

      Where are the jobs that are “just okay” or “fine”? What happened to the humble honest living? It seems like everything can fit under David Graeber’s "Bullshit Jobs" checklist anymore.

      With job satisfaction it seems either 1:100,000 odds like “career actor” or “beloved artist” or something, or you’re just in the soul-grind machine that takes a perfectly human craft or interaction and forces it through a filter of spreadsheets and “KPIs” and “metrics” and “management” that makes everyone want to stop waking up.

        • MonkeMischief@lemmy.today
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          10 days ago

          Hey that’s very kind of you. Thanks! :)

          Sometimes a topic hits me and I end up using Lemmy as a writing prompt haha. I’m glad if it resonates with people though. One day I’ll start a blog even if people don’t really bother with those much anymore. :p

          Hope you’re having a fantastic one!

    • weeeeum@lemmy.world
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      12 days ago

      Hobbies always change when they become a job because it transitions from well thought out, interesting and creative projects to mass production and monotony.

      As a hobbyist you have the ability to discover and work on unique, novel projects, without stress but professionalism is about consistency and speed.

      Usually by running the business you can dedicate some time and resources to the fun and novel stuff. Thats how I run mine at least, as a woodworker. I don’t crank out high grossing trendy stuff day and night but take the time to explore new ideas and get creative with it. That and using handtools instead of power tools.

    • asdfasdfasdf@lemmy.world
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      11 days ago

      I mean, I 100% agree with this one. If I’m going to be at work eight hours a day, five days a week, u better damn well enjoy it.

      I’m a software dev, too, but have always left companies / teams soon after a Lumbergh took over. That was always a very good career move for me, and I am almost always pretty excited to go to work.

      Plus, Lumberghs will be there for things you don’t enjoy as well. That would just make it harder, at least for me.

    • stinky@redlemmy.com
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      12 days ago

      Do you mean you used to like writing software by yourself, on creative projects that you were passionate about?

    • Usernameblankface@lemmy.worldOP
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      11 days ago

      Yeah, that doesn’t work well anymore. Gotta be a noisy dedicated worker, and be willing to move jobs a few times to start seeing the rewards

      • kreskin@lemmy.world
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        11 days ago

        rewards mostly come from job hopping. Raises at every place I’ve worked arent callibrated to inflation, so your 4% raise that the boss thinks is so great is closer to 0-1%/

      • Mango@lemmy.world
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        11 days ago

        I put that into practice and just got promoted last Halloween! Let people know that you’re smart and interested in how your job works.

  • Krudler@lemmy.world
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    11 days ago

    Effectively ALL of what I was told about what makes a satisfying and successful life. I was told the right thing to do is work hard, go to school, get a good stable job, get married, settle down, have kids, buy a house, own several depreciating assets.

    Life is about being happy. Nothing else. Do what makes you happy, because that car, vacation, or other piece of consumer shit won’t. Nor will living by scripts somebody else wrote for you.

    I had my house paid off at 30 and was traveling 5-6 times a year. High-level in the gaming, lottery and promotions industries. Misery. Now I have a humble life and I paint and craft things and I go dancing. And I’m happy. I could pick up the tools again and make a highly successful Steam game, but I won’t. I already proved my point in my career and creative output, and I don’t want to anymore.

      • Krudler@lemmy.world
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        10 days ago

        I gave everything away and now I live a simple life where I volunteer, work at crisis shelters, do recovery mentorship, housing outreach and other things. I am happy and I do not care about the trappings of the material world anymore. I chased the hologram until I caught it and discovered its true nature.

          • Krudler@lemmy.world
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            10 days ago

            I made several hundred games over my 20+ year career. I started making games for the world’s first touchscreen internet-enabled kiosks, the Playdium arcade in Toronto, etc. Moved onto online game development as senior dev for GameLoft.com, made the first online pari-mutuel gaming system, introduced online lottery technology to the world’s “Big 3” lotto companies. Made the first 3D tennis game. Honestly too much to even discuss as I could go on for hundreds of pages. Most people who are older than 30 have played my games and wouldn’t know it.

              • Krudler@lemmy.world
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                9 days ago

                It’s such a nutty claim for me to make… but I really believe any person on the Web circa 97-2005 and was involved in any kind of Web-based gaming has directly played at least one. Shockwave, Flash, Facebook no difference.

                If you played any kind of web- or Internet-enabled, State-run lottery product anywhere in the world between 2010-2015 I would bet my actual life. And since the games I made were all localized for international audiences they were world-wide!

                If you’ve been on a Riverboat Casino in the past 2 decades you’ve 100% played because I ran the game studio that made the games for a major supplier of riverboat Video Lottery Terminal games.

                Holy shit… I never actually stopped and realized how many lives my crappy games touched…

          • thawed_caveman@lemmy.world
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            10 days ago

            I agree, but i also get a chuckle out of getting the meme wrong on purpose: this man held the same job title for 21 years, but something about being Principal Performance Architect sucked so much that he retired within a year and became a goose farmer.