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Such a setup would make me leave the premises faster than a bunch of MAGA-brain uncles could do.
To shreds you say?
To smithereens
Well, how’s his wife holding up?
To shreds you say?
Was their apartment rent controlled?
Well, at least the children…
She’s good.
Can confirm she’s good
Medium rare even.
Get a pot of water ready for any flare ups!
Thanks, Obama…
Don’t forget that it always tastes better when the turkey is fried while frozen solid
So moist.
Gasoline
I’ve heard they’re best when cooked from frozen
be sure to fill that baby alllll the way up before dropping the bird in from about counter-height.
Also make sure the bird is frozen totally solid before slamming it in
Edit: Goddamnit I should have read the other comments first lol. Sorry for the 1000th repeat!
We usually invite the whole family to watch the bird plopping ceremony.
“All right kids! Gather 'round! We’re gonna plop the turkey!!”
From helicopter height.
Oh, the humanity!
Ice
A coupe of hand grenades for some extra kick!
I have several drunken and glib responses ranging from actual seasoning advice to something about the season of the witch. How-the-fuck-ever…
Run. Just fucking run. Neighbors? Kids? Whatever. Run.
Keep doing what you’re doing.
Aloe.
Toss in a few plugged in power strips and extension cords to add a nice spicy flavor to everything.
Make sure the turkey is fully frozen before you put it in.
Also, since there will be a bit of oil splattering, make sure to quickly secure your lid with clamps. Hope you have a blast!
And throw it in quickly! Wouldn’t want it to cook unevenly.
I like how you’re taking precautions by making sure your floor doesn’t get damaged from the oil splatter. Great job!
sumac gives a nice flavor to fried human skin
