• fine_sandy_bottom@lemmy.federate.cc
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    2 months ago

    Yeah I want to admit up top that I have no fucking idea what the right approach is here.

    I’m a new parent, but thankfully my kids aren’t old enough for me to encounter complicated questions yet.

    This might change, but right now my plan is to do my best to avoid cover stories for things. If you’re open (as much as is appropriate) and honest (in the context of the delicate situation), that might be better than trying to hide this aspect of the kids ancestry.

    As an adult I know that it’s possible to simultaneously live a child while acknowledging that an abortion would have been a better option.

    I honestly don’t know whether a child can understand that.

    The thing is, it’s not just a conversation with a child. It’s lived experience. I’m absolutely confident that my children (we have twins) will know that I love them because of my actions - the time I spend with them every day.

    I’m thankful I don’t have to navigate this. I would talk to a child psychologist or something to figure out the best way forward. I suspect that will always be communication, but an expert could help you know the best timing, things to watch out for, et cetera.