surely having a low self-esteem is worse. life goes on. why bother over that one single log when you’ve got all the forest to explore?
It’s a scary forest with many dangers
And all I have is this extremely sharp axe…
The latter I guess? Because at least for the former, you tried.
This. At least there is an attempt and you’re not left wondering. Rejection also isnt a bad thing. Its honesty. Rather someone be honest with me then dwell on “could be” “maybes” and just false hope as someone down the thread mentioned.
maybe stop coveting someone you don’t know well enough and doesn’t know you well enough. if you’re interested, show some interest, but not a lot too early.
Maybe they know them fairly enough, but haven’t had a chance to express themselves
Getting rejected because you know three will be no future, while if your crush is with someone else, you can still hope to have a chance in the future.
But in the end, either way it’s s bad day.I think false hope is worse than harsh reality because it can keep you from moving on.
Get rejected, then see your crush with someone else
See your crush with someone else, then get rejected
When knowing a rejection is destined, I would rather disappear and see the crush be with someone else. A hope which has been shot down is a scar for life, whereas an attempt never made painfully warms my heart forever.
I dunno. Looking back the things I regret are the times I didn’t try.
Just remember, if you try and they don’t reciprocate, at least you tried. And if they don’t like you, you probably won’t like them in the long run either. Just the idea of them
Crushes are non-consensual. Getting rejected is definitely the best, because that is the first step to getting over an unhealthy obsession.
I don’t think that’s what most people mean by the term crush. It sounds like you’re describing something closer to stalking.
Yeah wtf. It’s totally natural to have a crush, and it doesn’t necessarily mean you’re totally obsessed with them.
I’m always proud of the people in my life making good healthy decisions for themselves.
I order to get something, you have to learn to let go first.
Oh man. The crushes I’ve gone through. Some I’ve helped set up after they rejected me.
Some are bittersweet though. I’m always so happy that they’ve found someone that makes them happy but sad that our friendship dwindled as a result.
Being rejected is worse. It’s so definitive. Seeing them with someone else is just seeing them live their life, it has nothing to do with me. Being rejected always feels personal.
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i would but i have a crush on you
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Probably being rejected. I mean, both are bad, but the former definitely is much worse. If you are rejected explicitly, you know there’s no chance. With the latter, they might break up and maybe you can become lovers. It’s fairly easy to manipulate someone when they are emotionally vulnerable. Not that I am saying you should do that, just information.
There’s peace in rejection though. You can move on with your life and stop obsessing over a slightly ajar door when the door is actually closed. There is nothing more stressful in the world than uncertainty. Closure is the best peace anyone can give to anyone else.
Neither is bad.
That seems pretty contrarian, nobody likes being rejected and it’s natural to feel envious or sad seeing someone else get the closeness you wanted. Whether or not rejection is a part of life or healthy in the long term it is going to be bad while you’re experiencing it, and feeling negatively when seeing the object of your affection with someone else could arguably be unbecoming since you’ll want the best for them but it’s about ad human as it gets.
Idk I crush on a lot of folks, I’m also in a long term (polyam) relationship.
Whether or not rejection is a part of life or healthy in the long term it is going to be bad while you’re experiencing it
Why?
when seeing the object of your affection with someone else could arguably be unbecoming since you’ll want the best for them but it’s about ad human as it gets.
I tend to feel compersion over envy
Why? Because people feel what they feel.
Being rejected the first few times is very unpleasant but very important to go from child to adult.
You tried and you’ll get a high five from me, a complete stranger on the internet.
Seeing your crush with someone else will teach you the lesson to kill off non mutual feelings and move on. An important lesson but you did not choose to be brave and take it.
As for what feels the worst in the moment that depends on context and how many times you’ve had it happen before.
