It looks like a muzzle. I know a few folks who need this (gamer or not)
I’m an autismo who can’t control the volume of her voice or even tell when she’s yelling, so this might actaully be useful
Mmm, now we can get the full meatiness of choke-burping and mucus snorting! Downright sensual!
What will they think of next?
Complete the set! Further protect your loved ones and property from emotional competitive reactions and other unpredictable gamer movements:
that would actually be usefull for me damn. I make inhuman noises when gaming with friends
I guess I’m fucking strange because I tend to game in complete silence.
Your chance to sound like Kenny to everyone around you.
In case you were worried they have an accessory that will channel your farts directly to the face mask. Metadox knows what gamers want.
Or buy one of their celebrity sponsored “Gamer Farts” Its like Pokimane and Travis Scott are really there filling your room with farts!
And you can eat your favorite chaff at the same time!
It needs a port that you can attach your bag of caffeinated noodles to.
You can make the most vile, cynical, brainrotting product if you advertise it to Gamers™.
In 10 yearls you’ll be slopping down on PowerNoods™, not even knowing how silly you looked here, smh.
We Gamers™ are on the cutting edge of humanity.
“Ham Noodle” just sounds wrong
Judging by the url, they’re noodles designed to boost your ham. Which is probably worth it to someone. I suppose.
You won’t even need to heat the noodles up; they’re ready to eat right from the pouch.
Looks sweaty in there. I cant imagine the smell after a few weeks
This mask smells like poor oral hygiene
Yummy!
It’s precoated in BO so you can be ready for any competition environment
BO is Blasphemy Oil, right? must be an interesting smell
Kinda like the BeltBox, but less brightly coloured.
does it come in pink?
asling for a friend :3
My Teammates:
“Wtf is that sound?!”
“Kolanaki put oats in his gamer muzzle again…”
Me: munches on oats
Man, I hadn’t ever noticed the “i” in your name. That changes things
Does the ℹ️ emoji not work for some people or is the i in that box just hard to read? 🤔 You’re not the first to think my name was just “Kolanak.”
It is readable and it shows for me correctly. I just didn’t pay attention to it and thought it’s like an information icon that’s not specifically part of your name
🐴?
A horse is a 🐴, of course. Unless it was Mr. Ed.
A horse is a horse, of course, of course, And no one can talk to a horse, of course, That is, of course, unless the horse Is the famous Mister Ed!
Go right to the source and ask the horse, He’ll give you the answer that you’ll endorse. He’s always on a steady course. Talk to Mister Ed!
People yakkity-yak a streak and waste their time of day; but Mr. Ed will never speak unless he has something to say!
who needs asmr when you can call kolanaki
Ah, the gamer muzzle
The Gamuzzle
Just buy a gag, it makes saying a slur more difficult, saving yourself from bans
Why do we want to save these people from bans? They need to be removed from the community, if from society altogether. Better for them to say it out loud than to think it quietly, otherwise these people will quietly ruin our lives one step at a time and we won’t realize it as they’re doing it.
