It all started with a tweet about a couch. Within hours of Donald Trump announcing the Ohio senator JD Vance as his running mate in the presidential race, a rather lurid accusation cropped up on social media.
The user of a since-deleted X account wrote last month, “can’t say for sure but he might be the first vp pick to have admitted in a ny times bestseller to fucking an inside-out latex glove shoved between two couch cushions (vance, hillbilly elegy, pp. 179-181).”
The fake page citation from Vance’s bestselling memoir Hillbilly Elegy lent credibility to what turned out to be a baseless claim, as detailed in a now-removed fact check from the Associated Press. Soon, the internet was awash in memes mocking Vance’s relationship with various pieces of furniture. “I did not have sectional relations,” one X user joked, paraphrasing Bill Clinton’s infamous quote about his extramarital affair. Another user added: “Who hasn’t been excited by the thrill of the chaise?”
Even Kamala Harris’s newly launched presidential campaign appeared to get in on the fun, tweeting: “JD Vance does not couch his hatred for women.”
“You can have a vice-president that is outstanding in every way, and I think JD is, I think all of them would have been, but you’re not voting that way. You’re voting for the president. You’re voting for me.”
As the oldest presidential candidate in American history, I think it’s entirely reasonable to consider the non-trivial chance that his second may need to step in at some point.
I would wager that couch fucker already has a plan to use the 25th amendment.
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https://www.theguardian.com/us-news/article/2024/aug/04/jd-vance-critics-trump-vp
Might wanna fix your formatting Mr. Bot…
The problem is your client. Mine has the issue too.
Amended my comment, yes it’s my client and shows fine on desktop/browser. Sorry for the drama.
Oh well it’s a spam bot from a shit site.
Different spoiler tags for different apps, sadly… 🤷🏼♂️
The couch thing might be fiction, but he really did google dolphin porn (who cares about his purported reason).
(purporpoise reasons)
Lmao, what context did they provide for the dolphin porn search? I mean, I know why I do it, I just wondered what reason they gave.
He reposted it saying “the Internet was a mistake”, probably trying to pass it off as something that just came up when he was scrolling. Think, right wingers ranting about the immorality of big tech, etc. But the screenshot shows he searched for it.
Supposedly, he only did it to show people how depraved the internet is.
Like all the Qanons trying to get ahold of CSAM for “research.”
Don’t forget the burned monkey testacles
You always shake the pan while braizing them in butter.
Purpoised reason?
Wait so the couch fucking thing was bullshit? It’s just so… specific. Talk about an impressive shitpost.
The account posted the Arthur go in the Internet and tell lies meme like 10 minutes after, but the Internet had a meme, and the Internet wanted to keep that meme.
Wait until you find the dolphin thing
I mean, we can’t definitively say it didn’t happen.
That is almost certainly why the AP fact check was taken down. While it was true that the alleged passage was not in the book as claimed, there is no proof that Vance did not fuck a piece of furniture.
We can only really say for sure that he didn’t write about it in his book. But have we checked everything he ever wrote?
Has he ever specifically stated that he has not had sectional relations?
No, but he did state that his hardwood sofa is an inanimate object and thus consent is not something he’d have to worry about
It was always bs, but people on the Internet like spreading lies. I saw some politician go on MSNBC and she brought it up too. It’s embarrassing if she believed it and spread it.
It’s only proper: Faux had been hyping ‘immigrant crime’ and every Trump positive, Biden negative bullshit they can. Spreading bullshit & lies? Republican marching orders. Pogram against Democracy. Putin smiles.
It’s about as true as the idea that Kamala isn’t really black or that Biden is the head of a crime family.
Yeah. Some random dude tweeted it and it got passed around. The original tweet was deleted because they realized it was getting taken seriously.
That’s how culture jamming works. Talk about shot that don’t matter just LEAVE NESTLÉ ALONE
Bullshit that he did not get consent from the couch.
How old was that couch anyway?
This would be a perfect thing for Tucker Carlson to just ask questions about. If he wasn’t a huge piece of shit
“So… What type of couch? I’m just asking questions!”
“Have you never had a favourite couch? That perhaps you think about sometimes. Imagine how you would feel if they took it away. You answer your door and it’s some removal men. Is it wrong to even have a favourite couch? That’s what they want you to believe. They want to remove all couches for chairs in a great replacement act. Some say they want to teach kids about dressing up your couches, making them look different in different situations. What if you wanted your couch to be blue instead of brown. This is the future they want for us.”
Given how much press the sofa is taking, I would not be surprised if Trump ditches Vance for the sofa.
Sofa king, we Todd did.
Not too fast. Loses meaning.
I have been waiting for sofa king jokes and i must be hanging around the wrong parts of the Internet. They’re definitely out there right?
He came so hard
In a sofa
It looked like, Diet Mountain Deeeeew
Eye yam sofa king hard right now. I mean, it’s called a “love seat” right?
I don’t think you can really blame the sofa for being bad at sex. It is an inanimate object.
Doesn’t that mean the sofa also can’t give consent?
He can go to the same bottomless pit fat orange is headed for
Nothing would be funnier if the Internet destroyed Vance’s career over a shit post.
The piece of shit known as JD Vance deserves it.
I hope the Democrats win, but I have to point out that someone being discredited by rumors or misinformation is not suddenly ok just because it’s your side that benefits from it
They lie all the time. They lie all day. I’m tired of taking the high road. I will lie about them and laugh about it. The couch thing is hilarious and untrue. The dolphin porn search is hilarious and real.
someone being discredited by rumors or misinformation is not suddenly ok just because it’s your side that benefits from it
I agree, but this rumor is so absurd that anyone who actually believes it is a fucking moron. It’s a meme joke that should be no more effective than “let’s go Brandon”. If it’s actually costing him support then he’s relying on absolute idiots to support him.
It’s going to happen more than a few times until people learn. Same with deepfakes
Live by the meme, die by the meme.
They literally have built their entire careers on baseless claims that even their followers know are BS, they just chose to believe because they just want to echo their hatred. All of their shit is baseless and they scream it from the rooftops until it sticks. It’s just a shit post in a different form. Their entire campaign is a baseless shitpost.
So fuck it, JD Vance fucks couches and it’s fucking WIERD. Let it destroy him. Finally we are fighting fire with fire.
I just watched John Oliver destroy it again.
Vance’s campaign did not deny, on 3 separate occasions, that JD Vance has fucked a couch.
If you can be destroyed by an internet meme then your career must’ve been sofa king bad
I settee what you did there. And so does JD Vance.
Hoho ho ho… Ho ho ho you say FUNNY THING!
He just did an interview with Oprah this weekend
Oprah’s expression is one that says, “oh god. No. Not this couch too!”
Sure the couch thing is now of a rumor (that he purportedly repeated often over the years), but there are actual pictures of the thing with him and geese. Dude is WEIRD.
What’s the story on the geese?
I’m from central KY and my wife’s from Appalachia. I think the entire region would have a massive week long party titled “FUCK JD VANCE FOREVER” if this happened. He’s one of the most hated people around here. You even bring up his name and you can see people’s heart rates and fury and anger go up even before the ranting begins.
Sounds like some tea. What did the sofa king do?
He wrote a whole book telling big city people that all of their prejudices against Appalachia and the people who live there are 100% correct.
Yeah he basically wrote a book full of a bunch of lies in which he shits all over kentucky, but also the entire appalachian region with just a whole truckload of baseless claims and completely made up “stories” of his upbringing that never happened. It’s all lies. Like @eestileib said, it just preyed on the prejudice big city people all over the country had about this region, having never actually been here at all. They think of Appalachia and think no shoes, inbred hillbillies who can’t even speak and don’t have running water. Vance wrote a NY TIMES BESTSELLER (how on earth did they approve that) that just made up a bunch of lies confirming all those prejudices. In reality Appalachia is one of the most unique, gorgeous, creative, wonderful places on earth. Of course it has its problems, but Vance would never write something about how beautiful and wonderful something is. He’d much rather write something that tears down and belittles people he knows nothing about.
As I said: he’s probably the #1 most hated human around this region.
Give it time. Soon enough he’ll hire a reputation management company, shave his beard, show up for Dancing on the Stars, then SNL will put him in a sketch as Waluigi.
