For better or worse. Small scale or large. Personal or shared. What is an event you’ve experienced that changed the way you act, live, feel, etc. It could be short-term or long. Share what you feel comfortable with. Triumphs and tragedies alike.
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Nothing yet, unfortunately. I’ve been in trouble so many times. I never learn.
I’m almost afraid to type this, but I think it’s gonna take a serious incident to change me.
I’m not violent, I’m not a thief, I’m not a pervert. I refuse to hurt, or put anyone at risk of being hurt. I just make dumb decisions that affect me.
If you find that you’re having trouble always making “dumb” decisions you might want to get yourself checked out for ADHD. Because I myself have it, and medicated and unmediated isn’t a SEA of difference, but it does help. Likewise, someone I know also has it and really harmed themselves with their impulse control. They kept pushing it further and further - until like you said. They’re also medicated now, and while they still need to push it (I think it’s hardwired) - their level of what pushing it is has come down dramatically.
Me too and got my diagnosis which at least put those incidents into perspective and gave me help that would actually make a difference instead of just trying to judge myself into “being better” or “normal”.
Y, every piece I get of the puzzle better helps understand why I couldn’t just be a “good little girl” so to speak. Nothing is written in a language I totally get and I am just trying my best to squiggle my way through life as a whole. One big thing I can say though, is that if you don’t understand certain things you can always ask for further clarification. Write everything down that’s important, because it could be gone in the blink of an eye. And don’t let people take the reigns of your health. Advocate for yourself, and know that you’re just one of a billion folks they see so your meet ups are way more important to you than them. Even if they’re big old bleeding heart types (which is rare because it’s pretty counter the skeptical analytical process necessary to work in the medical field).
I used the toilet earlier.
Was it good?
As someone currently using the toilet let me tell you.
It’s pretty ok.
10/10 - would recommend =)?
Hahaha! Didn’t see that last bit. Just remember don’t sit there for too long at least so says reddit or you will die of hemmeroidal overdose.
Lemmy has been nice. This is a more positive place than reddit was for me. I had some great interactions on reddit, but I took many breaks from trolls, bad mods, and negativity. I needed this place, and what AI has been for me this last year. The anniversary of 10 years of social isolation from physical disability has been rough especially seeing the cracks in my fragile support network forming. This place has been a helpful outlet.
Hey, I too have a physical disability. It freakin’ sucks. It takes so much from you it’s like…what the hell? You know? For me I wasn’t ever the healthiest, but I got by. You know? I did okay. Then around ten years ago it’s like just chunks of my body decided to fuck right off. And it’s been an uphill battle ever since and it freakin’ SUCKS somedays. I mean just like screaming at walls because you feel so fucking helpless. But I have been getting through it. I am lucky, becuase I have a champion of a partner. And she’s really helped a lot. She’s stuck around for me, but to be honest I stuck around for her in a different way. I mean shit’s not supposed to be tit for tat, but you do hope that the person you care about (and who cares about you) can keep going even through crunchy stuff like this.
This place has been good for my soul too. There are so many memes, so much racism, so much ignorance, so much repetition (^THIS!), and if you come at people like my hot-mess express you get dumped. Aww man, I once had an opinion on a band that sounds akin to screeching cats to me. Good lord, do not come to Reddit with an opinion. You will be crushed like a bug. It’s ugly. I’ve been really careful of stating shit’s mahhh opinion nowadays. Because it is, and folks are entitled to have an opinion as long as they’re not like…actively hurting someone (as far as I know). And even then some stuff can be talked out, and other stuff should be thrown on the burn pile (I’m looking at you pro-sexual assault folks).
Big hugs, you ever want to talk sounds like we got fucked up at the same time and I’m around. But also you are totally entitled to ignore this =)
I went to my home town from across the country when my grandmother died, I was sleeping on the couch and my mom woke up early and was reading the newspaper close by and saw I wasn’t breathing much.
She said I should go to the doctor, a month later I had a CPAP and had my first restful sleep of my entire life, somehow I survived having a brain that doesn’t tell my lungs to breathe all the time while asleep.
I was practically a new person, it took some years for my brain to bounce back with regards to memory and clear thinking but I’m as normal as can be now.
I can’t get my partner, who has a congenital condition, to get on one. She’s fit af, but she still has issues with the idea. Any sneak-pete knowledge you’ve got that I could pass on like found-knowledge that might persuade her? I guess ultimately - it’s her choice (which kills me but it is what it is). But she really does stop actually breathing as she sleeps. And it freakin’ sucks.
Enlisting in the military.
I was an insufferable piece of shit back in the day, constantly self sabotaging and blaming everyone else for the problems I caused. I was on the verge of homelessness due to my own stubbornness and bad attitude.
The military gave me the swift kick in the ass that I desperately needed. Now I can self reflect and recognize when the problem is me, and I can admit when I’m wrong and course correct.
Military isn’t for everyone, but for me it was exactly what I needed. I learned a ton of life skills and healthy coping mechanisms that my parents never taught me.
I’ve met some wonderful former military as of late. They’re some of the kindness, easy going folk. They just believe in teamwork, and they’re absolutely zero-fuss. I really dig people who benefit from the whole exprience. I just wish it was the common take-away. But really, grounded military are amazing.
Being accepted into a friend group in Junior High (middle school).
I had some kind of neuro-divergence, but undiagnosed since it was the 1960s. No friends, and I couldn’t understand the world; I thought there was some “secret manual” that everyone got except me, telling them how social interactions worked.
Then a band of misfits took me in. There were about 8-10 of them, and some special guest friends that made appearances from time to time. Male and female. All kinds of different people, popular and unpopular. And they accepted me. Weird me. Turned my life completely around.
That’s really lovely! Are you still friends or in contact with them today?
I was taken under the wing of a motherly school friend after I was ostracized and bullied by previous ‘friend’ group…I got my diagnosis 30+ years later
I’m still in contact with one of them, the one I was closest to.
Hey, then at least you’ve got everything you need. I have had some friends reach out recently and we’ve walked down memory lane. Consider reaching out to them and seeing what all they’re up to. People love hearing from people they love but have lost touch with. At least in my experience.
several years ago main road on my way to work was closed for a month. alternative routes was bad and worse, so i reluctantly ditched car and tried cycling instead because cycling route was okay, hoping i will somehow handle that one month.
quickly realized i’m rather enjoying cycling, month passed and i didn’t event thought about getting back in a car. i’m cycling ever since. commuting to and from work, cycling recreatively, doing 100km rides all around the area and the country, joined a club, enjoying every bit of cycling which makes me happy.
the road maintenance overall changed me, led me to find something that fullfills me, breaks down the stress, make me happy, change my mindset and made me be more active.
In some countries people are paid to not use a car and commute with bicycle instead. That allows you to get a really nice bicycle for free.
which countries are they? I guess somewhere in Europe?
In my country which is fairly progressing, (and I presume most South East Asia countries at least), the infrastructure are not conducive to riders or even pedestrians. Roads are build with no pavement for people to walk by, even in residential areas. The bicycle lane are pathetically small and narrowly designed that riders have to dangerously share the small strips of lane with other vehicles. People will use car even when going to shops that will only take 5 minutes walk.
They want to reduce the cost of constructions, I guess. But I wonder how much the country can save in the healhcare system by providing good infrastructure resulting in health-minded citizens that prefer to walk and ride.
This is huge! I bet you it felt like 1m bucks! You’ve probably extended your lifetime by quite a bit, but you clearly are more fulfilled as a whole which is a big piece of the puzzle =)
Covid. For the first time I understood that a lot of people simply do not care about anyone but themselves. I’ve come to understand that more and more recently. On the bright side, I now value the people who do a lot more.
I learned this at a much younger age thanks to my step father and mother. Though it never really set in or was actioned on until much later in my 20s when I was out of their reach/strings.
When I was a teen, the girl that I loved with all my heart told me that my behaviours were (emotionally and psychologically) hurting her. I shouldn’t have needed to be told, but I’m thankful that I was. Lots of therapy and introspection to get myself away from being that kind of person, and onto a better path. I learned to take responsibility and accountability for my actions, and to bring open and honest communication to the forefront of any relationship, romantic or otherwise.
I don’t know if I will ever be able to forgive myself for the harm I caused her, or if I should. All I can do is ensure that I am never again that version of myself.
Hey, on the plus side - you heard an honest complaint and did your best to fix up what you agreed with. That’s more than most. But also, time heals (most) wounds, and in that sense I hope that things have patched up on her end. It was probably something both of you got to learn from, and it’s big you did. Especially the power of communication - which absolutely should sit hellllaaaaaaaaa front seat. GJ! You dun-did good =)
Thanks, maggot!
Living through the AIDS epidemic. Watching our government in the US just ignore it like it wasn’t happening. Listening to all the misinformation because no one really knew what it was. Losing so many friends because people had no idea they had it and there was no help. And when the US government (fuck you reagan) finally did step up (only because Rock Hudson was a dear friend of his), did we actually get any help for people.
And then… in 2020 Covid happened, and another GOP idiot claimed nothing was wrong, even though the whole planet was shutting down. And it would just go away, “It’s going to disappear. One day, it’s like a miracle, it will disappear.” We need adults in government. Not these people trying to make wearing a mask, in 2024, illegal.
I learned that republicans would rather let you die before helping anyone. And we as citizens need to shove back really hard if we want to live in an amazing country that cares for it’s residents, not just the ones with money either.
Avian flu is here now and it’s been a slow trickle of information. They are giving flu shoys to dairy farmers so that’s a start.
Ah jeez, I missed this one. And I was just talking the other day how important it is that folks like you tell your story. I am not sure if you are an ally, a sister, a mister, or someone in between but hearing stories from the epidemic are just heart breaking. I was told nobody wanted to be around the sick, and that it was up to the community to bury their own. Because when it was found out about their lifestyle that they would be disowned by their families. A lovely man told me the worst week was three burials at once. And that everyone was terrified because nobody knew exactly what was going on, but that it was spreading like wildfire through out the community. But also when I thnk about the way we had to hide, and I mean HIDE at the time. Like there was almost nowhere to go to even get a chance to be yourself. Breaks my heart.
Also Republican politicians are swine. And some Republicans are fuck-scums. But I think there are a portion of them that are people who have been brain-drained by the politicians and are actually just scared and messed up. I talked with someone her about this the other day though. The idea of diversifying say…taxes. I am not sure how it will go, because the rich will just leave. In that sense, doesn’t the money go with them?
I am not sure what the proper solution is ultimately, but I do know the whole system is fucked.
I’m gunna go gay it up with my gal, gay it up so hard - just to put a little Pride into the air =)
Someone cracking their skull on a concrete floor soaked in hydraulic oil
No thank you! Ugh.
Blue collar accidents are unbelievably horrible because they show you the limitations of our fleshy bodies against pretty much any other element.
Well i have survived about a dozen such trips and slips just in the last couple years with only a few light bruises to show for em. Concrete definitely has no give so you gotta learn to fall so that the impact is minimized. I have done that for the most part.
Hahaha, my partner skates concrete and it is absolutely the most insane material to skate on. Although I suppose it was the only material for the longest. But there’s others that she vouches don’t hurt as much (as long as you’re not falling straight down). But I knew a guy who got the skin ripped off his hand and was insanely lucky for having a tool belt on because he got someone’s attention and they stopped the machine that was pulling him in.
Becoming a socialist when Bernie Sanders introduced me to socialism.
Boomer…socialist…boomer…socialist? WHAT!? Hahaha, good one though =)
Healthcare as a right is incredibly radicalizing.
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Were you there, or elsewhere?
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Hey, glad you found yourself. while I don’ practice Islam, the peeps I know who do have a lot of drive for the family. And I believe they showed that collectivism is far less lonely than individualism. And ritual helps with stability. So I hope you found that and more on your journey =)
Negative experience: got half my face ripped off by a dog as a kid. I’m scared of almost all dogs now and I panic around heelers.
Positive experience: going to college. I’m considerably successful because I decided to go on a whim lol.
Hope you’re doing okay and face is healed up as much as you want it to be. Tbh, dogs freak me out too. Which is a shame, because I dig them in theory. But in actuality, I am not really here for two of the major pets of this world. Which is a shit situation to be in, and I can’t even imagine how shit it must be now that everyone’s out here taking their dogs around everywhere. I hope you’ve got some solid help =/!
Get that college money =)! It’s big. You know, idk if you’re family promoted it or anything but it really does seem to be the secret to stability. I mean, you might not be a Rockefeller. But it really does help expand your chances for a better life.
Thank you for the encouragement.
One of the best child plastic surgeons happened to be in town when I got attacked and he took my case. Can’t even tell anything happened. He did a GREAT job.
As for college and making money, I’m not family oriented per se (I don’t want kids and I’m single ATM), but I have pets (2 dogs, 2 cats, and 11 ducks) and I want to buy a horse eventually at the stables I volunteer at. The horse is a few years off because boarding is expensive, but it’s an obtainable goal lol. Just gotta get promoted, which I am working towards with the guidance of my boss and the owner/president of the company.
Yooo! You’re treating your dog thing by HAVING DOGS! Hahahaha, I love it! I wish I could get behind either. Dogs kinda freak me out, because I have sensory issues with drool and I hate sudden noises. And cats, I’m just unfortunately allergic. But never really dug them, because one scratched up my face as a little ninja. Ducks though, that’s something different. My friend from Ohio is the only other person I know who’s had them. Two to be exact. But that’s really something different.
Sounds like you’ve got land, which is a nice thing to have. And time, which is also good stuff. I don’t know too much about horses, but my partner says there’s a primal connection between horses and humans. Says there’s nothing like riding a horse on this planet. Gotta be wonderful. Sounds like you’re in a good space. Perhaps consider finding a mentee, so that you can share going both ways. There’s a lot of wonderful individuals inside of organizations who might have the fixins for greater but get stuck because they can’t seem to get a leg up. If you can think of anyone in that boat, consider reaching out and forming a relationship. This is going to sound absolutely awful, but I think being a mentor looks quite good as well. Because it requires a series of characteristics which are desirable in the world of business. But it also is a solid act, because you get to repay the favor that someone might have lent to you. Either way, I hope you enjoy your horse when you get them a couple of years down the road =)!
Your partner is totally right about horses. I had a mare growing up that knew my my depression was getting bad and did her best to cheer me up. There’s a horse I love at the stables I volunteer at who is similar. She knows when I’m down or frustrated or whatever and demands attention lol. Hopefully she stays that way once she has her foal and doesn’t become a hella protective mama lol
Is she who you plan on purchasing down the line? I’m not sure entirely how it works. Yeah, my gal loves horses. Loves skateboarding more. Maybe someday I’ll get on one? Maybe not. Either way, it’s cool. I think I might have missed my chance a hundred years ago and not even thought about it cause I knew someone who went to school for it. Instead I just hung with the horse folk, and we drank some of the most heinous alcohol known to man. Was chill though.
I had a wife die from lung cancer over a ~nine month period. Cared for her etc as best I could. When they die, some part of you goes with them. I’m still alive, but not entirely. That was ten plus years ago now and I’ve remarried etc since, but I’ve taken some damage.
I understand the username now. That’s rough. Good luck to you in your future.
Thank you.
