The Vance method guaranteed* to work:

[enter donut shop] * point at random employee*

“How long have you been working here!”

“About eighteen months”

“And how long have YOU been working here!”

“Six weeks or so.”

“Mhm. AND YOU!”

Then just go through every single employee, order ‘whatever makes sense’ and leave.

*this claim has been rigorously fact-checked by dog-eating Haitians

The regular process would be:

1. have idea for easy solution to known problem

2. think it through

3. realise that there more factors at play that would lead to other problems

Trump reaches stage 1 on a good day.

To be fair, he probably meant that only cops should be allowed to use violence with impunity, certainly not the… wink wink nudge nudge… “urban people”.

Well, finally. There are still so many unused seconds in a day where the consumer cattle is not forcibly blasted with advertisements, it brings tears to the eyes…

I’m not certain that it was an explicit condition negotiated with Musk, but I’m sure his investors had full confidence in his ability to do it anyway :)

He’s a successful businessman, he does indeed run the country exactly like he runs his businesses: stiff the people doing the work for him, divert the funds towards his nepotism clique, bleed the company dry until bankruptcy, and move on to do the exact same thing again because when you’re a star, they let you do it.

That’s a well radicalised obedient party soldier who will stop at nothing once you point at an inconvenient target and say the right buzzwords. Real Jan6 material, just as planned and executed for decades.

Fine dust does not have the consistency of chunky salsa, so it checks out.

That whole right side is just quitter talk.

Sure, we got him back, but… ever since… he’s … off, somehow.

Split brain configuration: Allows focusing on multiple concentration checks/spells at once. This could also be called paralellization, or multithreaded.

Allows you to concentrate on two concentration spells instead of just one. However, the spell itself is concentration.

• 28k modem connection sounds *

A dylsexic man walks into a bra-

You’re putting words into his mouth again. He would totally absolutely 100% declassify them right after publishing his tax returns and presenting his healthcare plan.

Honestly, if your goals include conserving an inhabitable environment for the human race in the future, conserving a semblance of wealth for everyone but the top, like, dozen people on Earth, conserving the rights of workers and consumers against an overwhelming opposition, conserving democracy for future generations (and all that against the best efforts of a supposedly “conservative” party), your parents may have been right.

Gotta milk any remaining goodwill while it’s still there.

Well, in his defense, it wasn’t about him.

Because it’s too expensive to crunch up a whole iPhone just for one cone.

Trump sues mirror for making him look ugly.

“Wouldn’t it be great if everybody gave my AI company money?”

“For doing what?”

“… I don’t follow.”