“She fancied me when she asked for my crappy notes. Shit.”

Have a look at Automate (like Tasker but with free features). It has a Content Shared module as input. Then you can process and output its text. Might be worth a try for what you’re trying to do.

Another silent change in the latest update, at least on my phone, is that the assistant disregards media volume levels and screams its feedback on full volume. It wasn’t like this until a week ago. Restarting, playing with settings, adjusting the volume as she screams, nothing helps.

So if I ask her to do something late at night she goes, “OKAY I WILL DO WHATEVER THE FUCK YOU ASKED ME TO DO AND WILL ANNOUNCE IT TO THE ENTIRE NEIGHBORHOOD IN THE PROCESS”

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PC LOAD LITTER

That can also be your poor fucking housemate if you got one. One day, after 5 snoozes at 5am, I went to the dude’s door and yelled, “Either get the fuck up or I’ll pour an ice-cold bucket of water over your head and bed the next time it rings!” I wasn’t joking. He never used the snooze function again.

If accepted.
Reviewer’s comments:

• While the paper is well-written overall, contributions on adaptation of alien technology as well as comparison with state-of-the-art are not made clear.
• Authors should consider using TikZ to create the diagrams. My Kindle e-reader had difficulty scaling and displaying the diagrams.
• The paper’s tone could benefit from more technicality.
• The terms “alien”, “ET”, “technology”, and “stuff” have been used ambiguously throughout the paper. The authors should consider including a table of nomenclature.
• The experimental results don’t appear to provide sufficient statistical significance on how much the mankind’s genitalia could be pleased using the alien apparatus. The results would be more conclusive if the application of the apparatus on extraterrestrial genitalia is studied too. This has the additional benefit of avoiding to fall for spurious relationships.