Not OP but here you go. I work with young people and have had suicide prevention training multiple times, this is a recurring mantra that not asking about it is much worse than asking.

I don’t think any of these are designed for really intimate areas, if it’s not designed to go there I would be very skeptical. I’ve used creams like that on my chest before when I was a teen, it didn’t go well and there was more blood than expected…

Tell me more about your veiny melons.

This is some fun malicious compliance! I love the touch of having an open discussion to make it clear they’re following guidelines