Anyone who has worked in retail will tell you this is absolutely, concretely, and vehemently something corporate would expect their employees to actually say to customers, so don’t go giving them any ideas…

The irony of this article being able to quote those comments for us, the humble readers, while the fucking movie studios can’t do the same in a court of law is just… so delicious.

YOU SAID YOU WOULD USE YOUR POWERS FOR GOOD!

I am absolutely terrible at remembering people’s names, even mere seconds after meeting them and introducing ourselves

But I most certainly remember their dog’s name and will refer to them as “dog-name’s human.”