I DM’d a group that tried to optimize every situation, and every turn off combat. That’s okay as long as it stays fun, but once they start spinning their wheels, or one player turns combat into a slog, then I take measures.

In my experience (and from what I’ve heard of other groups) optimisers are rarely the cause of this problem, usually it’s the more casual or inexperienced players.

How much damage did she take from the poison?

made the poison, then promptly drank it to sacrifice it

That sounds, uh, inadvisable.

like is there a single thing she hasn’t already done and excelled at

Having self-confidence

Talking to Razira without turning into a flustered mess

Saying rude words

is bardlock a mix of bard and warlock?

Yes

why is everything a warlock in dnd?

It multiclasses well, two levels for agonising repelling blast, plus a subclass feature, and then you can pick any charisma caster.

I once unleashed an ancient evil on the world in a failed attempt to open an unlocked door.

If it’s this dangerous there’s sure to be great loot at the end.

Impeccable logic

They’ve got accusations coming out the wazoo

This reminds me of a comic I saw a while ago where the BBEG was gloating that he could only be killed by the sword next to him that couldn’t be pulled from the stone. The barbarian picks up the BBEG and swings him at the sword.

I’m sure other people have brought up rich people taking a huge share of it already, but there’s also the sheer number of people determined to work in the arts. If there’s, say, ten billion dollars to go around, it sounds like a lot, but if it’s split between a couple of million artists it doesn’t go very far.

Total coincidence they picked someone Jewish for their conspiracies about bankers secretly controlling the world.

Also, she’s immune to all poisons.

How did she get that?

Ukrainian nuclear weapons aren’t a credible threat to Russia, for the same reason Russia’s aren’t to Ukraine: It isn’t under an immediate threat of being wiped out, just losing territory. I think this is aimed more at the United States, trying to pressure them into keeping up or increasing aid with the threat of nuclear proliferation (as Japan, Taiwan and Saudi Arabia have done). There is also the possibility that in a Trump administration, loss of US aid could turn the war back into an existential threat where nuclear weapons could be used.

They’re also saying it’s a limited-stock item with only 150 ever made. Sure, buddy.

Sell 150 each of 100 very slightly different designs, claim they’re all limited edition.

(Or, this being Trump, just outright lie and call it political interference when someone points it out)

❤️

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Is there any country that doesn’t suck?