basically I’m the quiet one and even though she never was my supervisor, she acted like it. I was doing my job and she kept pestering me to help her with something she could do alone. I told her to wait, she kept calling me. I ignored her to do my job, she kept calling until I exploded:
First I said I don’t want to argue. She kept nagging me.
I yelled: leave me alone. She started a chain of expletives and called somebody. I don’t know who she called, but I assume somebody from management.
She’s the popular one and has been working there for 15 years already.
Back to today: I work in the same department, but another building, doing exactly the same, but it stings that nobody ever called me to ask for my side of the story. I feel disrespected and angry.
This is also a job I haven’t been happy for the last 2 months, before this conflict with this coworker, meaning I’ve been applying for positions, both for promotions within my company (office job instead of mechanical job) and for jobs elsewhere. After finding out the real story, after knowing how much power a popular person has over you, I only want to move on as soon as I can to another department or quit altogether.
The rational solution would be to focus on the office job within the same company away from that coworker and that department, but I’m not making much sense now…
It hurts.
Is this the right way of going through life?
It really sounds like you might have an anger management problem. I think you should try and speak with someone equipped to deal with that because losing your job sucks but that issue can run havoc over your personal life.
It’s a terrible situation to be in but the first piece of advice I can give you is to make space to cool down. If you ever feel your rage building just excuse yourself and find a quiet place to calm down and sort through your thoughts - missing fifteen minutes of work to sort through your feelings is worth it if you can avoid shouting. We’re all adults and we want to feel safe in our workplace, shouting at coworkers may have forever broken that trust with many of them (especially if, like me, you’re a big guy who is physically imposing).
Lastly, don’t build up anyone as an enemy in your mind. Speak to a professional before you assign blame - otherwise you’re going to be more likely to snap again.