I can’t seem to shake off the loud “It’s Gay” inside my head when something like that happens. Now if it’s a kid or a senior at work patting me, sure no problem. Occasional hugs upon meeting friends after a while, handshakes etc are fine. Anything else is too awkward for me
I can’t seem to shake off the loud “It’s Gay” inside my head when something like that happens.
a very small part of me is glad i’m gay when i encounter one of the many ways that straight men are so terrified of being perceived as gay. it’s a bit like watching the video of a child freaking out in shallow water because he couldn’t touch the ground only to be corrected by being pushed into standing; except that this casual homophobia has MASSIVE impacts on people’s psyches and how they treat others.
I find it interesting to watch people’s behaviors in various circles. Some are very physically affectionate among friends or even acquaintances, others are super awkward, but then those super awkward people are incredibly physically affectionate with pets (wrestling with them in the grass, picking them up, snuggling with them on the couch, etc). It’s an interesting cultural dynamic to watch.
People have interesting social filters that drop at a moment’s notice when pets or alcohol are involved, haha.
Wait, so you all are telling me that you don’t kiss the homies goodnight?
Hugging friends – yes and easy. Snuggling – never. And this doesn’t apply only to men, it applies to women whom I don’t find attractive as well.
Physical affection from someone I don’t find attractive is super akward. Now I’m a cis straight male, so this principle applies to essentially all men.
P.S. OP, if you like more actual physical affection from your male friends, it’s maybe just time to come out of the closet. This is lemmy, nobody is really straight around here anyways
Oh, I’m quite open and queer, but I know that not everyone is. Different cultures around the globe handle things differently, too. But I even see the difference on the more local scale, where some friends are quite physically affectionate, whereas others hug me like a frozen fence post, haha.
It’s interesting that women generally are fairly physically affectionate with friends, but men kind of run the gamut depending on family and social culture. And yet, even some of the most awkward are super physically affectionate with animals and pets, sometimes even at the same event.
I find stuff like that fascinating. Cultures evolve and change, with some aspects being more seasonal, and others more glacial. :)
Snuggling – never. And this doesn’t apply only to men, it applies to women whom I don’t find attractive as well.
What about nonhuman animals? Do you dislike cuddly dogs?
I wish it were more acceptable, but personally I’d just rather not be touched by anyone.
Hugging, definitely.
Snuggling, maybe? Like maybe we both fell asleep in the back of a van and ended up snuggling a bit and when we woke up we’re not weirded out by it.
Wrestling, maybe, but it would probably be with kids or pets around. I can’t remember doing it but I wouldn’t be weirded out by it.
It wasn’t always this way though. I was raised southern Baptist. Becoming OK with male physical interactions and homosexuality was a journey, and I am much happier with how accepting I am now than when I said I was as a Christian who had this low-key hypocritical “I know the truth of god and accept everybody” while also looking down on sinners.
I have a gay friend who came to visit me and we went around the city and to a house party and had a great time and then fell asleep in the beach. The next day he said “that was one of the best dates I’ve ever been on” and it caught me off guard because I was just “hanging out”, but if it had been a girl, it would have been a great date, and I thought “ok, sure, it was a ‘date’ with a guy friend and that’s ok.” It was a big step for me.
Not really a response related to the post prompt, but more your comment…
I grew up on a farm in rural NC. Graduated college with a film degree & headed west to LA. I wound up rooming with a friend a from high school, his girlfriend, & her friend from fashion who school…
…who turned out to be a 6’7”, 225lbs, gay volleyball player & ex-cheerleader from Korea.
My friend only knew me as the little redneck kid who used to throw rocks at rabbits & swore too much growing up. He lectured me on behaving around a gay man & really made a big deal about not being ass to our roommate.
4 years later I transitioned & got my first makeup lessons from that roommate. He became my drag mom 🤣
Time is a mindfuck sometimes…
Thats a super cute story 😁
A hug is a standard greeting between well-acquainted men in Sweden, so yeah. I hug my friends and family.
You guys have friends?
Hugging ✅
Snuggling - Not really a problem
Playful wrestling - Guaranteed the guy who instigated it is in the closet, same with most people who watch actual wrestling
No I’m not.
And honestly I’d say no I wouldn’t want it to be.
Nope. Too likely they’re either a toxic two steps from blatant homophobia, or an actual incel these days. I kinda wish it was more socially acceptable, but at the same time? A lot of these dudes make me regret/resent the gender I was born as.
Yes. Absolutely. I’m the relatively rare hyper-social under-stimulated autistic type, in a friend group of people that aren’t into close contact and frequent interaction. It’s incredibly frustrating, but I’m distrusting of new people, and, ultimately, they’ve always been there for me. Despite my :3ness.
I had a smaller group that was into it for a little while, but that time has passed. Very, very passed. We don’t talk about that.
I’m glad yall have good people in your life. Every single person in my life is a liability.
Just another person to fuck you over. Just another obligation to be maintained. Just another human.
Hugging is cool. I’m not wanting beyond that from my male friends.
I am a boomer.
“I’m not, and also I don’t want it to be socially acceptable” gives massive “it’s okay to be gay as long as you don’t do it in public” energy.
Local culture is not touchy feely, but we have no problem being naked around strangers in sauna/spa environment.
