The work bathroom is currently a warzone, on their phone speakers people like to play music, play games at full blast, and one guy likes to chill to ambient rainforest. What song can I play to passive aggressively make it known that I don’t want to listen to their tik tok feeds while I work out my demons?
Pornography, the weird ASMR kind
Ich Bin Schnappi, there are multiple hours loops on YouTube.
Oh wow, that’s a throwback
Party Rock Anthem vocals only at half-speed.
Bananaphone by Raffi
This is the song that never ends…
“This is the fart that doesn’t end
Yes, it goes on and on, my friend
Some people started farting it not knowing what it was,
And they′ll continue farting it forever just because, this… PFFFFFFRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRFFFFRRRFFFFFFFFRRRRRRRFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFRRRFFRFRFFFFFFFRRRRRRRRRFFFFRFRFRFFFFRRFFFFFFRRRRRRRRRRRFFFFFFRRRRRRFFFFFRRRFFFFFRR…”
Especially the “fast version.”
🎶 Ring ring ring ring ring ring ring, banana phone 🎶
WTAF? Has nobody complained? That sounds awful
What’s management supposed to do? Hang a sign?
People who play phone speakers in public can’t read!
You could record a fake PA announcement from management, announcing that “the playing of music in the toilet is banned and that any stall playing music will be made visible on work screens in 10, 9, 8…”
So. You’d rather hear your coworkers shit?
Isn’t almost any sound better than that?
Have you ever had a job? Hardly anyone visits the office bathroom for a 45 min long dump.
Hey! Is it too god damn much to ask for 2 seperate 80 minute sessions of quality dump time in the standard work day?
Yes! It is entirely too much!
I thought so…I’ll pass that along to whom, or whomever brought it up…
You… manatee
Anything by Tool carries really well if you need to battle noisy neighbours.
Hmm, can’t decide between Ænima or Stinkfist
Hooker With a Penis
Apocalypse now - extended edition. Move the sub in the bathroom. Turn it all the way up. War is hell.
I just imagined George Costanzas dad has given up on staying calm, and is now furiously storming and marching while yelling “APOCALYPSE NOW!!! APOCALYPSE NOW!!!”
Raining Blood - Slayer
Call into a teams meeting and occasionally say something (don’t actually unmute).
(don’t actually unmute)
That still suggests the use of a camera.
You don’t have to turn camera on. In fact almost none of my teams calls use video. That would mean we’d all have to get dressed…
My work requires video if possible and not distracting. I’m so used to it note I don’t really care what you’re doing. Bathroom would be a hard no though.
I’m not sure the average “video” conference includes someone with their camera on.
I’d guess it’s like 60% of Zooms have at least one person on camera but it’s quite common for people to skip video. Don’t see any stats about it.
- Get that passive aggressive shit outta here; either say something direct or resign yourself to that being the way it is and enjoy yourself
- I recommend the enjoy yourself option though. Your Mama or Punk Rock Girl or a MrBallen podcast
1a. Trust me, my shits are violent aggressive.
1b. I’ll take your advice and whisper my complaints through the door crack. Maintaining eye contact the whole time. We’ll even have a firm handshake afterwards.
- I’m trying to raise my elo in LiChess. I’m not breaking 1100 while also translating my neighboring stall’s latin ballad.
1b
Just walk up to the outside of the stall and slap your hands against it and wedge your face up to the stall crack and start whispering complaints. Guarantee they’ll turn the music off 😃
Mongolian throat singing.
I mean, that is pretty much what i think of when anyone brings up “the brown note”
This seems like a good time to get on my soap box.
Every bathroom should have a cheap white noise machine. I don’t need the detailed auditory experience of someone else’s bowels. This would also probably help with OPs problem.
No man, it’s a bonding experience. Loudly declare “LET 'M RIP” or "GOOD POOPIN’ " to your neigbouring stalls to wish them good luck. A small pinkytoe touch for an extra boost of courage for the road ahead.
Made me think of this:
I’d play something funny
Wing - Dancing Queen