“I find the most erotic part of the woman is the boobies.”
“If I said you had a beautiful body would you take your pants off and dance around a little?”
Now those are pickup lines with some chest hair!
Do you believe people with penises think with their dicks?
Hi! So what do you think of assimilation?
Lift with your knees, not your back.
“Ay, you ever heard of Lemmy? Lemmy get your number?”
I would use this, if I met people IRL that have heard of Lemmy.
Hey sexy mama, wanna kill all humans?
Are you a beaver? 'Cos DAM
(shoutout to the absolutely fantastic Sophie Corrigan who creates a lot of really beautiful art for bad pun lines like this one)
[silently hands over 3d puzzle]
👉👌
Oh fuck, I dropped this entire pack of cards on the ground. Can you help me?
I’d be interested to know that myself as I’ve usually been so out of it quite what happened is unclear.
So…… you’re a girl.
Cause I don’t care. 👀🌈
Oh. So… then are you? Otherwise available?
Y’ever seen someone solve a Rubik’s cube in just 5 seconds?
Yeah, me neither.
Are you a plates in a drawer or plates in a cupboard kind of person?
I’m sure it’ll work one of these days.
cupboard, why?
No reason, it just says a lot about you as a person.
so, what can you say about me?
well for one that you’re probably taller than 1m20 :)
Drawer gang
People put plates in drawers? I don’t think I’ve seen anyone do that ever
The longest relationship I ever had started this way: we were at a mutual friend’s house with a bunch of our friends. I introduced myself, then sat across the room from them, in a big comfortable chair, and I fell asleep while looking at them. For some reason they thought this was charming.
??? lmao
“I could pick up girls even in my sleep”
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