Ok, this is the hedgemeister being really nutty here, but this makes me think of Planet of the Apes (the original, not the remakes), in which there’s some sort of plague that kills off everyone’s dogs and cats, but doesn’t affect apes, who are then taken as pets instead. For some reason this causes them to evolve and take the place of humans as the dominant species. The law of unintended consequences! So along the same lines, if coffee beans go extinct, what if a synthetic alternative is created which accidentally makes humans telepathic, or better yet, removes their need for sleep? If there’s a sci-fi story in there somewhere, please feel free to take it and run with it. As for me, I think it’s time for a lie down . . .
I think you better lay off the “coffee alternatives” if you take my meaning ;)
Salon loves their hyperbolic, click-bait headlines. This rage-bait shit is exhausting.
It is Slate, and unfortunately click-bait is practically required for news sites nowadays. The article is pretty good though. It talks about the very real situation that global warming is going to change how and where coffee can be grown in the nearish future.
These never ending crisis headlines are mentally draining. It’s not good for our mental health and doesn’t help anyone.
For sure, but in this capitalist hellscape, in order to stay up and running, they need clicks, and click-bait works. The article is less doom and more harsh reality with alternatives
The never ending crises themselves are mentally draining.
I can definitely not drink coffee made from chickpeas.
If they can make caffeinated chickpeas, I’ll be having a Hummus breakfast more often.
If they are suggesting a decaf alternative, they should go back to figure out why coffee.
Hummus is good for breakfast regardless…
But I just imagined coffee flavored hummus and the flavor profile made me a bit nauseous.
What if you had it with uh, like a sweet cinnamon roll, or coffee cake chips/donut chips? (As opposed to pita bread or pita chips). Maybe the right fruit?
Still sounds like a tough sell.
I mean… I dunno, I could be being closed minded, but hummus to me is zesty and savory… I have a hard time switching it to a sweet…
Here’s a thought…
Have you had sweet potato casserole where the sweet potatoes are pureed and it has candied nuts and almost a brown sugar crust? Maybe something like that…but then it wouldn’t really be hummus lol
In reality it would just be chickpeas and tahini, with the garlic, lemon juice and salt omitted.
Then one could add honey to make it sweet, and maybe cinnamon, vanilla or nutmeg.
End result would be a bit like a soft, spreadable halva.
Fair, but if they’re calling this chickpea soup coffee, I can call my sweet chickpea dip hummus.
Just like I can call avocado ice cream frozen guacamole.
Lmao I like the way you think, neighbor.
I live in New Zealand, a place with a climate not too dissimilar to the UK though I’m told we see the sun more often.
A few years back we had our first commercial coffee growing operation set up.
You can buy it here.
That’s about USD$33 for 180g (coffee is a drug so I assume sold in grams in the US?), so it’s nothing short of “pretty fucking expensive”, but still interesting (horrifying?) that a commercial coffee operation can work here.
You’d think that, but it is not. I buy 12oz bags of coffee. Alcohol is also sold in both fl oz and ml, so a bottle of beer is 12oz, and a bottle of booze is 750ml.
And caffeine in the coffee would be listed in milligrams, but the alcohol in beer and spirits would be measured in percent and proof.
Tldr climate apocalypse for the coffee plant might shift the market towards alternative plants. While technically true that coffee plantations will struggle in the coming years, this just means higher prices and worse average quality off the shelf.
A bit of nothing news, imho.
Coffee alternatives like rooibos are already here and the market is very resistant. Cheap coffee drinkers are irrationally attached to the bad taste they feel nostalgic for. Fancy coffee drinkers will absorb the higher costs without looking for alternatives. It’s only the tea-adventurous coffee drinkers that care about these innovations, usually due to caffeine consumption restrictions which is also a disputed market because decaf coffee quality is improving.
This doesn’t change anything else you said, but just so folks know, rooibos doesn’t have caffeine, so isn’t really a coffee alternative. Yerba Mate is going to be a better 1:1. Both are earthy and delicious and do recommend either
My main example is rooibos because at least it can make espresso-like strong brews, and is sold at some coffee shops here and there. But I personally prefer Mate too, though for cold drinks :-) And if I’m just in for some caffeine, black tea is the easiest to source (around here). Matcha latte is also growing in popularity! As well as London Fog.
I love all of these, but I’m one of those tea-adventurous coffee drinkers who care about the taste more than the caffeine.
Oh for sure, they are all delicious. Just making sure that someone isn’t confused if they are looking for caffeine.
And at least I’m North America there’s another Maté relative, Yaupon. Both are holly species.
I find it interesting that they glossed over the simplest solution, which would be switch to buying sustainable, shade-grown coffee thus forcing coffee plantations switch to it from market pressure. But I realize it’s not the main topic of the article and that has its own issues - how to make sure it really is sustainably shade-grown, for one.
But also, maybe this is my cynicism showing, did anyone else think these sustainable coffee-esque options wouldn’t stay sustainable if they became popular? Especially with something like annual crops, once other companies see there’s money to be made they’ll jump on the trend and now land (and forests) is being cleared for these crops.
It’s certainly interesting that people are exploring other options for creating hot dark beverages that taste at least somewhat similar to coffee, but it’s also entirely possible that synthesized caffeine makes its way into other beverages entirely. Obviously there’s tea as a substitute, but there are also lots of soft drinks and energy drinks with caffeine.
So long as caffeine remains cheap, increasing price of coffee will likely be met with caffeinated substitutes that have nothing to do with the coffee plant.
After coffee I’m just going to jump straight to the caffeine inhaler if we have to be cyberpunk about it.
Honestly, at this point, I’d mainline it just to get the headaches to go away.
