Not to brag but I’m a pretty confident person in my social circle. I’m funny, make people laugh etc. etc.
Basically, I am adored by everybody.
But there is something that I noticed about myself lately. Regularly people come up to me to chat and sometimes they compliment me. Now, complimenting isn’t a bad thing, obviously. But I just don’t feel anything when I receive them.
However I enjoy it when people talk good things about me when I’m not present. I, again, don’t feel anything when people talk shit about me when I’m not present. BUT I really enjoy it when people straight up come at me and say something bad at me. My mood increases and I spend the rest of my day happier.
Is this some kind of a defense/coping mechanism that I have unintentionally developed? I don’t see anything bad about this.
It’s also worthy to say that I spent the majority of my life isolated up until a few years ago. No compliments at all but nobody to say bad things either. Is this why I fail to appreciate compliments?
I’m an extrovert, and I was a gifted kid. I haven’t been gaslit about my abilities, and I was supported and encouraged as a kid. I know what I’m capable of, and I know my limitations. I love myself, and wouldn’t choose to be anyone else.
Yet I hate compliments.
To me, compliments feel like someone passing judgement on me, like they’re putting themselves in a place above me so they can judge me. I’m aware that’s not what they’re doing, but that’s always been what it feels like to me.
However, you can compliment things I’ve done, and I’m here for it
I have no idea what it means :)