I had a buddy, and we talked in great detail about this. I chase challenges, and am always looking for the next big puzzle to muddle my way through. He chased freedom. He just wanted to be who he was and spend his time how he wanted.
My point is people are motivated by different things. Find your thing and pursue it. Don’t worry what anyone else is doing. You don’t answer to them, and they’re not any happier than you.
The caveat is don’t conflate freedom/motivation with being a dick. Live the life that you want to live, but if that involves disparaging certain demographics for ethically and/or morally wrong reasons, then maybe live a better life than the one you really want to live. This doesn’t apply to most people, but there are some out there that should read it and take it to heart.
Yeah I’m a bit of both. When I’m working, I always want the next challenge. When I’m at home, I’m quite content to just cease to exist
Because they want to grow as an individual lol.
Perhaps they value different things in life. Everyone is not the same, what works for you won’t work for everyone. There are people who enjoy having responsibility. Having children, being a manager and doing charity work feels fulfilling to them.
Until they say they are over their head and start complaining they have no free time in a very negative tone to all of their childless/non managerial friends and guilt tripping on how they should do the same. “When are you having kids?”
Do childless, non-managerial people have no complaints in life? Most things aren’t perfect. It doesn’t mean they’re not also fulfilling.
On the other hand, some people just like to complain. The comment you’re making just lacks some nuance.
Volunteering is incredibly rewarding, even if it adds to my responsibility. Time devoted to a hobby is incredibly rewarding…even if it takes my time.
The reward is worth the sacrifice.
Certainly better use of my time than sitting around watching tv
The reward is worth the sacrifice.
It’s funny how some people treat responsibility. It’s like they are trying to convince me that brushing teeth is “worth sacrifice”. I totally agree and I’ll probably need to bring this topic to therapy.
Take having kids, for example. You have kids, but you have to earn a fortune, you have to change pampers and you have to regulate yourself emotionally not to fuck up their psyche. It’s not that I don’t want to have kids because I don’t value kids over these chores, it’s just I’m afraid if I don’t do these chores, I’ll be responsible for their shitty future.
Brushing teeth is totally worth doing, but if I one day don’t feel like it - it’s not a problem.
Don’t let those other parents fool you, we ALL have don’t feel like it days. You can just take more of them as the kids get older.
I don’t want kids because I have non-negotiable, borderline dissociative, don’t feel like it months. I work from home and can hack shit without taking a shower for a day or two without bothering anyone but myself, or while I might forget I need to do laundry and have to wear day old underwear while the cycle runs I can hold my shit and properly wipe. I’m not trying to get to know my local CPS agents on a personal basis by sending my stank ass pigpen child with shit stained underwear to kindergarten.
You sound like a very responsible individual, TBH
There are a ton of negative comments on here, but i think the reality is: people value different things.
When you have certain values you will sacrifice certain things to practice those values/achieve those goals.
Some people value charity work because helping the community and people makes them feel good–even if it’s more work on their plate.
Some people sacrifice their personal lives to achieve a career goal. Sometimes that’s for financial reasons, sometimes that’s for ego reasons, sometimes it’s “meeting a challenge”.
Some people will sacrifice their career to have less stress or focus on their family. Some people value their hobbies, relationships, personal interests to the point where they’ll pick jobs that let them focus on those things–even if those jobs don’t pay as well, even if they aren’t “progressing” up the ladder.
And for what it’s worth, your values (may) shift over time. I never wanted kids for the longest time. Then I did.
I valued career progression for ego and financial reasons–and now, that’s shifted.
I sacrificed spending time with my friends when I had my kid, but now I am putting a lot of effort into those friendships because I value them and that requires work. That means I didn’t take a job offer that would have paid more, so I would have time for my family and friends.
I value those things more at this point.
I value my time playing computer games, so I sacrifice my sleep so I can do that. :)
Some people are like dogs: they want to be useful & helpful.
Some people are like cats: they want to sleep 16 hours a day & meow loudly at 3am.
Some of us like to poop in the sand box as well.
Mate, I’d definitely prefer loose leaf tea but can’t be arsed with the extra hassle
There are dozens of us
As long as you feel you want to avoid responsibilities, please do so in a responsible way. Use condoms every time, and don’t get involved with a person who wants children. Be a good support-player at work so your manager doesn’t have to be a bitch (they still might, in which case support your coworkers). And contribute in low-effort ways like donating an occasional pint of blood if you’re eligible, or offering to put someone else’s cart away at the grocery store. Just being a decent person is enough.
i got a masters,tried to climb the corporate ladder only to realise,i prefer the quiet life,less responsibility and less stress.
i didn’t want to be a corporate high flyer after trying to. some people will never know until they try and some couldn’t get out because they went with the flow and got stuck.
They aren’t thinking of it in terms of increasing responsibility. That is the cost of the decisions they are making, but it’s not the benefit. Each of the things you mentioned have clear benefits (pay raise, biological drive, altruism). They are simply making decisions about when the benefits outweigh the costs.
