So I’ve realized that in conversations I’ll use traditional terms for men as general terms for all genders, both singularly and for groups. I always mean it well, but I’ve been thinking that it’s not as inclusive to women/trans people.

For example I would say:

“What’s up guys?” “How’s it going man?” "Good job, my dude!” etc.

Replacing these terms with person, people, etc sounds awkward. Y’all works but sounds very southern US (nowhere near where I am located) so it sounds out of place.

So what are some better options?

Edit: thanks for all the answers peoples, I appreciate the honest ones and some of the funny ones.

The simplest approach is to just drop the usage of guys, man, etc. Folks for groups and mate for singular appeal to me when I do want to add one in between friends.

  • echo@lemmings.world
    0·
    4 months ago

    all friends everyone folks peeps team

    If you’re only addressing one person then it can be left off entirely.

    • june@lemmy.worldEnglish
      0·
      4 months ago

      Could be. Depends on a bunch of factors. But as a trans person I’ve never encountered someone who’s trans and feels that it’s masculine.

  • Colour_me_triggered@lemm.ee
    0·
    4 months ago

    The south is objectively better than the rest of the USA (from my experience as foreigner). Just go with y’all.

    Also I use dude with my NB friend pretty habitually.

  • maxprime@lemmy.ml
    0·
    4 months ago

    A lot of people use “folks” for plural.

    I feel like “guys” is fairly un-gendered but people disagree with me. Personally, I haven’t used the word “guys” to refer to anything male in what seems like forever.

    “Bud” and “fella” are good singulars.

    • FlashMobOfOne@lemmy.world
      0·
      4 months ago

      “Guys” is ungendered.

      Reconsider whether it’s worth being friends with people that insist on fighting over the term “guys”.

      And if you are surrounded by a lot of particularly sensitive people, just call them “friend” or “friends”. It works for people you both like and dislike. Glorious.

      • GlitterInfection@lemmy.worldEnglish
        0·
        4 months ago

        Modifying my language choices is literally the least I can do to make people feel more included, so anyone who can’t fathom doing that is for sure, not worthy of being a friend.

      • mostNONheinous@lemmy.worldEnglish
        0·
        4 months ago

        If you are in the Midwest, Guys is absolutely gender neutral.

        Edit: downvote me all you want guys, it won’t change the truth.

      • maxprime@lemmy.ml
        0·
        4 months ago

        Sure, but as a professional (teacher) I’m not willing to put my career on the line by challenging a sensitive parent. A few years ago we were told not to use that word, and when it comes to things like that, I do as I’m told.

    • MissJinx@lemmy.world
      0·
      4 months ago

      I’m a cis woman in IT, I’m guy, dude, man, bro… I don’t really care. You can change to make a specific person feel more confortable but most woman don’t care to be dude or guy

    • unfnknblvbl@beehaw.org
      0·
      4 months ago

      I really, really wish we could degender “guy” and “guys”. I know plenty of people of all genders that use the words in general to describe people, objects, concepts, everything. The only holdouts are people that insist on it specifically meaning males. Ironically, these people are often the hardcore feminists.

      If other English words can change their meanings and be claimed/reclaimed by certain groups, why can’t others?

      Take guy! Use it to describe whatever you want! Free it of its historically phallic shackles!

      • ready_for_qa@programming.dev
        0·
        4 months ago

        Guy was originally gender neutral as it was used to call someone stupidly bold (iirc). The term was most often used toward a single gender that was known for being stupidly bold and became synonymous with that gender. That’s how it became gendered.

      • fᵣₑfᵢ@lemmy.dbzer0.com
        0·
        4 months ago

        Yeah, I agree with you gal, while we’re at it I wish we could degender “gal”, “chick”, and “doll” too. Equality for all!

        • ShepherdPie@midwest.social
          0·
          4 months ago

          This sounds not to dissimilar to those who argued that legalizing gay marriage would lead to people marrying horses or their cars.

          • fᵣₑfᵢ@lemmy.dbzer0.com
            0·
            4 months ago

            How’s that? I’m not arguing against anything, I said I want more words to be disgendered

            How come people seem to only want words that were originally masculine coded words to be disgendered, but don’t want that for words that are originally feminine coded?

    • TWeaK@lemm.eeEnglish
      0·
      4 months ago

      I used to have a maths teacher who called almost every number “guy”.

      “And this guy goes to zero, while this guy goes to infinity!”

  • TGhost [She/Her]@lemmy.ml
    0·
    4 months ago

    Dude its OK for me because you Know, the dude.

    Pacifist as fuck, its a good name then. I don’t feel it like man, etc. Even the majority when using it don’t think about lebowski.

    If i name someone dude, there is more than “man” behind. But I’m maybe wrong ?

    Edit : oh sorry realized plurials.

    People fine for me, its just an habit to change really. Or hey guys and girls or better, hey girls and guys 😂

    But as non English speaker I could use dude for the group, and a my lady for her, if there is an fellow trans with me. Not others ofc. Will check thé answers for real lol

    • Cagi@lemmy.ca
      0·
      4 months ago

      Dude isn’t quite there yet. The phrase “I fuck dudes” has only one interpretation still.

      There are still lots of reasonable women who don’t want to be called dude as it is still associated with masculine people.

      • TGhost [She/Her]@lemmy.ml
        0·
        4 months ago

        Mistake ive edited. Bad reading at first. I’ve respond imgining me self speaking to a dude of me. Not at a group. Individually, no way I call a miss “dude”.