Please don’t take this satirical thought seriously, just take it for what it is, total nonsense.
It’s not acceptable to freeze children? Brb…
Make sure to thaw them slowly
Thank fuck you’re here, was going to use defrost on the microwave.
If you could freeze people, and, this is important, and unfreeze them without any repercussions or harm. Then it would be totally normal to do. Oh I’m going on a trip I’m getting frozen they will thaw me out on the other side.
The Alabama ruling was specifically for one case. However, they made a very general ruling which could be used to argue all kinds of things that make no sense. The court even acknowledged this but said something along the lines of “it is not this courts duty to determine other cases”. Essentially “The clinic is being sued for wrongful death of a child and they argued this law doesnt apply to frozen embryos. We have decided it does and the case can move forward. We acknowledge this sets a terrible precedent but we don’t care. Also here are some Bible quotes because the Supreme Court of Alabama uses the Bible for legal arguments and somehow this isn’t religious law”
I’m still trying to process your words.
Don’t get me wrong, all your words make sense grammaticaly, but the state of the world makes absolutely no sense.
It doesn’t make much sense.
When a high court makes a decision, all the lower courts need to follow it. If a high court says anyone on trial for murder must be tried as an adult, then all the lower courts need to follow that rule. It is incredibly rare for a high court to make such a broad rule though. Usually their rulings are much more precise. Like: on trial for murder, over the age of 15 and shows at least 4 of the following 12 signs of maturity: has a job, has a driver’s licence, etc…
This was a case where their ruling was incredibly broad and had no conditions. They literally said “we are adding ‘frozen embryo’ to the legal definition of ‘child’” and just left it at that. This means all courts in Alabama must consider frozen embryos to be children when ruling on cases, which of course has a lot of practical problems.
Already people have pointed out that in vitro fertilization has effectively been banned. All IVF clinics in Alabama are currently closed. Republican law makers cheered this until it was pointed out that IVF clinics create babies. They aren’t abortion clinics. Now they’re scrambling to re-legalize IVF in Alabama. So yeah, all the old men in Alabama have zero clue about what they’re doing. They just like ensuring everything is considered a child because that’s what Jesus wants.
Personally, I think every woman should go to jail for keeping her eggs in her ovaries. That’s child imprisonment.
How dare they.
Every egg shed is another egg dead. We need to outlaw tampons and start using corks instead.
Again, don’t take my satire seriously, the whole situation is absurd.
Every sperm is sacred, every sperm is great. If a sperm is wasted, God gets quite irate.
Christ, he must be FUMING
Every woman should empty her menstrual cup into a test tube and mail it in.
You say it as a joke but what if people started mailing their menstrual blood to the houses of the shitlords passing these laws
Courts deciding on nature of reality is peak Kafka.
It is not a new story though. A family member argued about a traffic accident, that the description provided by the other side is physically impossible. The judge replied, that physics would not count for humans.
A lot of people who study law do so, because they are terrible at sciences.
Kafka is also not a new author.
And yet courts making stupid rulings surely predates him? (Even if that example does not)
Sure, but he was the best to describe the absurdity.
