I used to have such fear, especially when I was younger. not just an inbox fright but also some sort of “reaction fright” meaning that I was scared a lot about people’s reaction in a face-to-face conversation

Talking to people is why I’m here so I am the exact opposite

I had this when I was younger, too. Today, I don’t mind if someone posts or messages me nasty stuff, I either ignore it completely or just block this person and move on. There is no use getting frightened because of some internet stranger who decided that today is the day to type random bullshit to someone he doesn’t even know.

What’s a struggle session?

Inbox fright is an interesting term. I certainly know and can relate to what you are talking about.

It doesn’t affect me too much I don’t think, but I know the feeling you are talking about. And I wonder how related or intersecting to/with social anxiety it is.

If I’ve posted once in a day, and it’s gone against the grain in a particularly emotive topic discussion - then yeah I can’t say I’ve not said “oh here we fucking go” when I’ve seen the little badge with a number on it that’s not 1, because that’s usually when I’ve posted a YouTube link and the bot picks it up.

In fairness, 70% of it is a valid dissenting opinion to my own and I’ve got the opportunity to learn from someone else’s view, even if I’m still not convinced.

29% of the negative comments are just fannies just picking up a point which isn’t entirely clear and then interprets it in a way that’s logically and factually disingenuous to prove some sort of point, and I can count on one hand in the last thirty years or so the number of times that I’ve rattled someone’s cage to the point where they feel the need to PM me death threats or offer physical violence - by that point I’ve already figured out that they’re either deeply hurting and it’s manifesting itself in that way, or they’re deeply unwell and it’s well outside my skillset to help.

Lemmy overall is much more open to debate than Reddit, and the downvote button is used less of a “disagree” or “fuck you” button than it was on the latter site.

Yes- less from my lemmy inbox and more from my irl inboxes, though. Because no news is good news.

If you don’t want to get sucked in, don’t respond. You don’t owe anyone anything on here.

Yes.

I think I have a mental disorder where if people online are angry at me I actually start introspecting a lot rather than blowing it off. Sometimes I have something I want to say anyway and emotionally prepare to eat it.

I’ve tried to counter this by cultivating a Russian roulette mindset when opening my replies. Fuck it, open it, we’ll all find out

You can hide the notification icon, and check unread in https://lemmy.ml/inbox when you want to.

Ublock Origin Dashboard -> My filters, add: lemmy.ml##a[href="/inbox"].nav-link

Yep, that’s me. When I still actively used reddit, I felt this with every message, was always afraid I was off the mark, or didn’t read the room, or said something wrong or ignorant.

I just turned off notifications and ignored my karma count to just post through it. Though, I usually said things that either never got any votes, or that people seemed to generally agree with. And I was relieved whenever I did notice the numbers going up instead of down, and occasionally worked up the courage to check responses and continue conversations, but usually nothing.

This has really not changed since moving to Lemmy, and really just persists through every website. It sucks, I mostly just don’t comment.

Maybe at work. Getting an email at work means… well, work.

At first I didn’t like the fact that my Lemmy client didn’t support notifications, but it turned out to be the greatest thing about it. It basically helped me cut down on social media time.

This was a thing on reddit too. Don’t think that Lemmy is immune to group think or even bots intentionally farming divisiveness. If anything, the inconsistent moderation by design makes it even more susceptible.

I try to tell myself to just roll my eyes at pointlessly negative comments, throw it a downvote if I think it’s not contributing anything useful, and move on. Otherwise they’ll drag you to their level and beat you with experience, as it were.

I have this with checking emails at work. I hate when I have a new email and don’t know what it’s about to say.